Page 21 of Lord of the Lock

“You are bloody well not, I might want to use it for late night working,” said Dad.

“So there’s no space for me to sleep, no space for me to work…right.” I turned away from the two of them and walked towards the front door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” My father asked.

“Don’t start caring where I sleep now,” I said without looking back. I opened the door and slammed it as dramatically as I could behind me. I’d never had a proper teenage argument with my parents, so to have it a decade late felt right somehow.

It was still light out, the late summer sun was still warm. But I still felt a tremor rack its way through my body. It was horrible to see a man I’d loved and looked up to becoming so spiteful. I was there and willing to help. I’d dropped everything, my whole new life, when my parents had asked me to come home. And it seemed my payment was even more misery than the last time. Last time, my home had been my safe space from all the crap that Lewis and his mates put me through.

Now? There wasn’t a safe space in the whole village for me. I took my mobile phone out of my pocket and dialled an old friend in Hiraeth.

The phone only rang once before James picked up. “Hey!” he said. “How are things?”

“Miserable,” I admitted. “My Dad has basically kicked me out, my ex’s mates still have a violent vendetta against me, and I think I fancy someone who’s a walking red flag.”

“Ouch,” said James. “Sounds…not fun. Now isn’t the right time to invite you to a wedding, is it?”

“No, but send the invite anyway. I’m glad you and Llywelyn are getting on with it.”

“Well we’ve rented a barn…” as James talked me through his wedding plans, I ambled along the pavement and then sat down on a bench to bathe in the last rays of the summer sun. “…but are you safe?” James asked, and I realised I’d completely zoned out.

“Huh?”

“Are you home safe now? You mentioned your dad had kicked you out and a violent vendetta, I don’t want you out at night if there are men round every corner with baseball bats.”

I laughed, but it wasn’t really funny. “Nah. Don’t wanna go home just yet.”

“And you can’t stay with your walking red flag? What’s so bad about him?”

“He’s funny, kind, gorgeous, has the biggest penis known to human or horse kind…but he’s a rugby player. And he’s massive.”

“And which part of that is the red flag?”

“Uhh…the rugby player bit? And the fact that he could bend me in half like a pretzel?”

“I’m feeling there’s trauma here that you’re not telling me about.”

“Well…” I started. “I’ve just not had great experiences with men like him. I ran from this place because of a small-town rugby man who seemed half decent and seemed to like me. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again.”

“Can you stay there, just for one night?” he asked. “Does it feel safer than home to you?”

Just for a second, I thought about it. Though I already knew in my heart. Finn was a safe space to me. “Yeah, he’s safe.”

“Then see if you can stay there for the night.”

“I think I will…thanks James.”

“Anytime. Text me when you’re safe and in the arms of a gorgeous hunk.”

I put my phone in my pocket. I felt awful asking Finn for a place to stay, but James was right. I needed to go somewhere I felt I could be safe. If home didn’t feel like that, then I needed to find somewhere that would. Just for now. Just for sleep.

I remembered the way to Finn’s place, up the hill by the old school to the white house at the end of a row. There was a big garden to the side of his house, and it was getting overgrown. Perhaps he didn’t care about the garden.

I knocked on the door. The sun was setting outside and inside there were no lights on, but I heard the shuffle of Finn’s feet before he opened the door. He was holding a beer, and I mentally cringed. There was still something about drinking that I couldn’t quite shake. But it wasn’t Finn’s fault.

“Hi, Finn, I, uh…” I got out before the first tear fell. Then another, and then I couldn’t stop. Instead of talking, Finn put a gentle hand on my shoulder and gestured me into his house. The door clicked shut behind me, and he flicked lights on as he walked.

“Sorry, I didn’t even notice it had gotten dark,” he said, leading me into a room that looked like it hadn’t been updated since the 70s. The old chintz sofa looked like it would be a squeeze for the both of us, and the wallpaper behind it was a completely different floral pattern that clashed with the whole thing. “Do you want a coffee? Beer? Something stronger?”

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