Page 41 of Lord of the Lock

“We went over this before Mum. He’s acting like a bad man, whether you think he is one or not. He is not acting like a man who loves either of us right now.”

“I know, but this has been hard for him….”

“God, Mum! Can’t you see he’s trying to push us away?” I said, coming to that same realisation at the same time as I said it. “God, I’m so stupid. He’s trying topush us away.”

“What do you mean? All he’s done so far is beg for my help with every little thing.”

“Exactly, and it’s making you resent him. Be honest, it is, isn’t it?”

Mum nodded slowly. When she took another gulp of her wine I continued. “When…everything happened with Lewis, I didn’t just run away from Pontycae. I pushed everyone away. And I think that’s what Dad is doing. He hates himself so much for what’s happened, that rather than accept our help he’d rather push us to break. To leave him. So he doesn’t inflict that misery on anyone else.”

“I remember calling you and getting one word texts back,” said Mum. “I felt like you were blaming us for not protecting you enough from…everything.”

“No, Mum. I moved away and did my best to push you all away because I felt helpless. I was angry, at Lewis and myself, for the situation we’d gotten ourselves into. And I was angry with myself for being so weak. I didn’t want your love or help because that would make me weak.”

Mum sat silent for a minute. Then she put the glass down on the counter and walked around the kitchen counter and squeezed me tight. Her head rested on my shoulder. I realised we hadn’t hugged in the entire time I’d been back. “We did fail you, Nath,” she said. I felt my shoulder getting warm and damp and realised she was crying into my t-shirt. “Your father and I weren’t enough to keep the bad at bay. I wish we’d protected you better.”

“Mum…” I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, I didn’t have to. Because she screamed loud enough to wake up the whole street, let alone my father in the living room.

I whirled around, expecting an assassin at the kitchen door or at the very least a massive fuck-off spider. But Mum had clutched my hand and was looking down at the lovely gold ring that Finn had slipped on to my finger. “What the hell is that?” she breathed.

“Oh. Right. Uh,” I managed. “Thing is…”

I didn’t know if it was the emotional chat we’d already had or the need to tellsomeonewho didn’t live in another village 90 miles away what had been going on, but I spilled everything to Mum then. The fake relationship, the idiotic decision that Finn had made in front of Lewis.

“But…you’re real now, right?” Mum asked. “Because at the restaurant there was nothing false about the way you looked at one another.”

“God knows, Mum.” I held up my left hand. “This thing just complicated things to another level. If we do make it official, then we’re definitely not engaged. But eventually it’ll get out that wewereand then suddenly we’re not…”

“He’s a nice man, Nathan,” Mum interrupted. “All I ever wanted for you, especially after Lewis, was that you found someonenice.Do you think a little complication like that should get in the way of your relationship?”

“A little? Mum, a man who was pretending to be in a relationship with me told someone he was my fiancé! How is that a little complication?”

“And yet I doubt he forced that ring onto your finger, did he?”

“…no.” I reached for the orange juice and took a swig. “The strong stuff. That hits the spot.”

Mum laughed. “Well, you’re a big boy. I can’t tell you what to do any more. All I can do is say that he’s nice, and I’m glad that there’s someone out there who treats you like you deserve to be treated.”

“Thanks, Mum.” My phone buzzed in my pocket. “Oh, speak of the devil…”

The smile slipped off my face as I realised it wasn’t Finn trying to get into contact with me, but the actual Devil.

Lewis: Can we talk?

21

Chapter Twenty-One - Finn

It was game day. And I knew, in the grand scheme of things, that a non-league friendly game against a team that was technically a league below was not exactly the highlight of the rugby season. But the game between Pont and Pandy was a legendary yearly event in the village of Pontycae. And half my team weren’tfucking here.

OK, we still had an hour to go until game-time. And some of the lads had begged off with a stomach bug that seemed to be doing the rounds. I should have been seeing a whole team of fifteen plus eight subs in case of injury. Instead I was facing seventeen players altogether. It was pathetic, and in a game against Pandy, we would need all the injury cover we could get. I left the boys chatting in the changing room and headed in to Rhod’s office, where he was sat behind the desk scribbling some play tactics down like I hadn’t already run through and decided what we were going to do.

“This is fucking dire,” I said to him. He looked up from his pad and paper and gave me a grim smile, the same kind of ridiculous Valleys smile he’d given whenever a player had broken a leg on the field. So I knew behind that smile lay the same worry I was feeling.

“Rugby is dying in these hillsides,” he said. “It’s up to us to revive it, I told you that. The fact we can field a whole playing team is an achievement compared to some other teams.”

“You don’t fucking mean that though do you?” I said, my voice going up an octave with the stress. “You’re as worried as I am, and you just don’t want to admit it.”

---