Page 45 of Lord of the Lock

“Wanna bet?” I asked, taking my place in the scrum. Charlie was at the other side and I couldn’t make direct contact with him, but I was raging. How dare anyone ever threaten Nathan? How fucking dare he talk about him like that?

And then it was like everything clicked together. Charlie wasn’t just defending lewis, that had never been it. He was scared for himself.

Nathan hadtoldme without telling me, and only in that moment was I actually figuring it all out and putting the puzzle pieces together. Charlie was the piece of shit who’d run Nathan out of town because he’d been caught with Lewis. Charlie was one of those things that kept Nathan from his home out of fear. And I was fucking livid.

The Pandy player rolled the ball in at and angle and even with the best fight in us we weren’t able to get the ball from them, so as it got passed out to their players running behind we got into a defensive line to take down any Pandy player that tried to get through.

I watched as Ben took the first hit, and he managed to stop a guy twice his weight from breaching the line. The ball was passed backwards along the line and we kept pace as a team, constantly calling out to one another and holding the line back. I was so proud of the lads for holding out defensively. We could never have expected so many of these boys to play a full eighty minute game, but we were nearing the end of it and despite the points we were down by we were losing well, and with dignity.

One of Pandy’s players passed backward to the big bastard in front of me. Charlie. The second we locked eyes, he had the decency to look fucking terrified before I ran at him, and took him down.

In that moment, I didn’t care about the game. I didn’t care about the points. I just wanted that man to know he couldn’t hurt Nathan ever again. Because no one got in between me and the man I loved.

The man I loved.

I.

Loved.

It was obvious, then, as the world slowed down and both Charlie and I crashed to the floor. As the ball rolled forward out of his hands and the ref blew his whistle to declare an advantage to our team. An advantage our kicker took by kicking the ball out of play, and the ref blew the whistle to signal the end of play. It was so blindingly obvious that I was deeply in love with Nathan, and that the pretence that we were pretending was the real…pretence.Yeah, I’m still no poet.So I stood up and crossed the field to that man at the sidelines, ignoring the cheers from the Pandy supporters and gentletutsfrom the Pont ones. Charlie was having trouble getting up, but I didn’t care. That was for the medics to sort, and he only had himself to blame.

I didn’t care.

Because Nathan was there at the sidelines and looking at me, and I was looking at him, and I could only hope in that moment that the look he was giving me reflected what was in my eyes and in my mind.

As soon as I was close, I said it. “I love you. And that’s real. That’s me saying it honestly, without the expectation that you’ll say it back. You know I won’t push you beyond what you’re comfortable with-”

“I love you too, you big idiot,” Nathan replied.

“Oh,” was all I could think to reply.

“Is now the time?” Rhod butted in from the side.

“Yes,” I said.

“Probably not,” said Nathan at the same time. “Go on, go bolster the team. I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll always be here when you get back.”

I felt fucking giddy as I jogged back over to my slightly dejected-looking team and called them into a circle around me. “C’mon boys, you played well. There were fourteen of you at one point, and you held your own. Hell, some of you have never even played a full eighty minutes before. So we’re going to go into that clubhouse with our heads held high, and we’re gonna be gracious losers to Pandy. Because though we don’t deserve to lose, they certainly deserved that win. And I’ll make sure Rhod puts his hand in his pocket for beers for every single one of you. Now go and shower, you muddy buggers.”

They all cheered and ran across the field to the showers. Even with my speech, I didn’t want to go and celebrate myself. I wanted to be with Nathan, and if Charlie was going to be there I wasn’t going to make Nathan stay anywhere uncomfortable.

So when I turned around, I was shocked to see Nathan stood on one side of the field with Charlie. From the distance I couldn’t see if Charlie looked like he was ready to knock Nathan out so I ran over. I was determined to protect Nathan to the ends of the Earth.

As it turned out, I didn’t need to bother. As I got close enough to listen, Nathan held one hand up to stop me. “My fight, Finn,” he said. “I’ve dealt with one of my problems today. Now it’s time to deal with another.”

Close up, I could see that Charlie’s face was grey and he was holding on to the small of his back. Maybe I had done some damage on the rugby pitch. Nathan looked up at him, and spoke with authority like I’d heard when he faced up to the men in Cardiff. “I don’t care what you think of me, Charlie. All I see is a scared little man in the body of an ogre trying his best to do damage control. I have no intention of outing you, and I never did. So you need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and decide if you want to carry on living a lie. But I will not be your punching bag. I’m sticking around, and you can either get used to that or you can be the one to fuck off out of this little village this time. Am I clear?”

“Clear,” said Charlie quietly.

“And if you don’t listen to reason, my fiancé here is willing to get a few more hits in on you to drive home the lesson. And to be honest, I wouldn’t mind getting a few punches in whilst he holds your hands back.”

Charlie looked between us both with no colour left in his face, and turned to walk away. “Hey!” Nathan shouted. “I’m still after an apology. Lewis managed one today, so I’m sure you can stretch to it too.”

“…sorry. I’m…I’m really sorry,” Charlie muttered. And then he was walking away, not toward the changing rooms, but back toward the village.

“Did that feel good?” I asked Nathan, holding my arms open to him.

“Really fucking good,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head on my chest. “Almost as good as watching you in your element, playing rugby.”

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