Page 51 of Lord of the Lock

“…thank you, really.” I nodded at them both and doubled my walking speed. They were coaches, not athletes. Not any more. They wouldn’t keep up.

I weaved through the group of lads until I spotted Nathan’s pink hair again, and I called out to him to stop. The lads kept walking, and Nathan and Bernie slowed until I was level with them.

“Thanks for looking after my gorgeous…my Nathan, Bern,” I said. “Can I steal him for a few minutes?”

“Sure, I’ll just go back to my…to Garrett,” he said. Nathan looked like he was doing his best not to laugh.

I waited until the rugby lads were far enough ahead, and checked the coaches and Bernie were still lagging behind, before I spoke.

“They’ve offered me a place,” I said.

“On the team? Playing again?”

“Well…and coaching,” I said.

“Wow…” Nathan said. I could tell he was wrestling with the question. “You going to take it?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I need…not permission…what’s the word?”

“Oversight? Advice? A kick up the arse?”

“Fuck it, permission was the word. I just didn’t want people to think i was whipped. I need your permission.”

“Whatpeople?”Nathan looked around, as if to emphasise how far we’d drifted from anyone else. “And you definitely don’t need my permission to do anything.”

“It’s just…I want to be excited, Nath. I want to look forward to playing again, to helping push people like me to be better in rugby and better at life than I ever was. But I don’t always like the pressure rugby puts on me. I don’t want to be a burden on you if it all gets too much.”

Nathan threaded his fingers through mine and pulled me to a stop. “Listen to me, Finn Roberts. I cannot promise to stop you making stupid decisions, or silly things. I cannot promise I will always be patient with you, or say the perfect thing, or know how to make you feel better when you’re down. But I will be here. I will be here for as long as you need me and want me. Your problems are my privilege to bear.”

“I love you,” I said. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. “So much.”

“I know, I’m amazing,” Nathan deadpanned. “But seriously, I love you too. You big lump. So if you want to take on the job, I am here for you. And I will tell you honestly if I think it’s all getting too much.”

I could feel the biggest grin stretching at my cheeks. I was going to be playing rugby again. And coaching. Around the lads, but with Nathan by my side. I could do anything. We started walking again. Having broached the toughest topic of all, the next monumental task felt so incredibly easy. I held his left hand up to my cheek and kissed the glinting gold ring that sat on it.

“I love you,” I said. “And I know we agreed to be like, real boyfriends, but I’ve been thinking about how we solve this…fiance situation since I got us into it. And I think the best solution to the problem…is not to solve it.”

“That made no fucking sense at all,” said Nathan. “Oh fuck, I’m even swearing like you now.”

“Stop fucking swearing, it’s not fucking civilised,” I joked.

“OK but seriously, what is the solution to this?” Nathan held up the ring so it was up closer to my face again.”

“Marry me,” I said. “I might not have proposed in the most…romantic way, but I know we’re the real deal. I want to be with you forever and I hope you feel the same.”

“So you want this fake engagement to get real?” Nathan asked.

“…if you’ll have me,” I said. I suddenly felt less confident. What if Nathan wasn’t ready for this? What if he felt that we were moving too quickly? What if we-

“We’ve reached the peak, love,” said Nathan. “You can stop walking now.”

“Oh.” I hadn’t realised that we’d reached the summit of the mountain, and were now surrounded by Welsh rugby players. I felt gutted that Nathan couldn’t answer the question now, not without revealing our whole ruse. Nathan kept hold of my hand and dragged me over to where his father sat, wheelchair covered in dust. But he was smiling at the beautiful view as one of the lads described a particularly gruesome tackle injury he’d once seen.

“Hey, Dad,” Nathan cut in. “Finn and I were just talking dates for the wedding. What do you think, summer or winter? And how do you look in navy?”

And then he looked at me and winked. And I knew I was hooked forever.

* * *

---