Page 8 of Lord of the Lock

“I know, but I forgot the one rule about living in such a little place…” said Finn. “People talk.”

I groaned. “Everyone knows everyone’s business.”

“Yup. And I applied for a job the other day, and part of the reason I got the job…was you putting me on the straight and narrow. Coach figured out I won’t be fucking half the squad and their girlfriends if I had a steady boyfriend.”

“Oh God, that’s so embarrassing,” I giggled. “So the flowers are an apology for…”

“For the fact that people are going to be talking about us…and for my next request.”

My heart ratcheted up a notch again. Requests from men of Finn’s size weren’t always requests. Men who knew their size often knew how to use it.

“What do you want?” I asked, perhaps a little too harshly.

“Just…sorry, I know this is stupid. If…if anyone asks you about us, just say we are going out? It’ll save my face with the coach, and then when I’m back in Cardiff in a couple of months it’ll all be forgotten about. I’m not even asking for any dates or anything, just…pretend we have had them.”

I wanted to laugh. “That’s seriously all you want? Sure, whatever. I’ll tell them we met on a dog walk up Caerphilly mountain.”

“But I don’t have a dog.”

“Neither do I, but it’s just as implausible as the rest of this.”

“Why is it implausible?” Finn asked, a note of offence in his voice. “Because you’re clever and I’m not? Because you’ve obviously got…whatever this is going on here, and I’m an almost unemployed bum?”

“No, Finn…” I didn’t know what to say, so I changed tact as quickly as I could. “So if we’re going to pretend to be together, we should know more about each other.”

“So you’ll do it? I haven’t offered you anything in return!” Finn said. He was smiling, like he still didn’t realise how fucking insane this whole idea was.

“You don’t need to offer me anything. Last night, on the walk back from your house, I walked past Charlie and Ryan. I thought they were going to…and then they crossed the road. They’re so scared of you that they chose not to start a fight with me. And that is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

There was silence for a second. “I have to ask, Nathan. Why don’t they like you? What was I saving you from?”

I hesitated. I didn’t want to give too much away. Finn wasn’t my therapist and he definitely wasn’t my boyfriend. “A few years back I was in a relationship with one of the Pandy players…”

“There are gay guys playing for Pandy?”

I held up a finger to silence him, something I wouldn’t usually be too confident in doing. But I needed to get my version of the truth out.

“Yes. At least, there was one. And it took him a little while, but he came out. And we were…we were something. But he wasn’t always nice, and when I broke up with him, he told all of his mates horrible things, like that I’d been cheating on him. And I hadn’t…in fact, he had, but you know rugby players. Loyal to the end. So I started getting threatened in the street. He’d turn up to my house begging for me to come back to him and every time things would get worse.”

“Fuck, man. I’m sorry that happened to you.” Finn pushed the flowers across the sofa to me like a dog offering its treat to another.

“Eh, I got the hell out of here and built up a life I liked, selling nerdy memorabilia for lots and lots of money. Collecting isinnowadays. If my Dad hadn’t had such a drastic operation I doubt I would have come back. But I’m facing my demons now,” I lied. If Finn hadn’t saved me at the Eagle I’d have about ten less teeth and would have run back to my safe place faster than my Dad could roll. My demons were facing me, and I was losing.

“Still, man. I’m sorry about what you’ve gone through.”

“Maybe if I wasn’t so little and pathetic I’d have been able to whoop their arses back years ago,” I mused. I picked up a figurine from the pile and wrapped it in bubble-wrap.

“Well, I’m here for at least the next couple of months. In exchange for fake-boyfriend services, I offer real life bodyguard services,” said Finn. I looked up at him as I laughed, and it was like I saw the moment that a lightbulb went off over his head. “Wait. What if I could help you with that second problem?”

“Got a stretching rack, have you? I’m five and a half foot of nothing.”

“No, no. See, I’m not earning much in my job - it’s three days a week in the evening, and that’s fine. Ihavemoney,” Finn said almost defiantly. “But as a benefit of my job I can book the training facilities when no one is using them. If you want to look that little bit more intimidating…”

“So you agree,” I said. “I’m pretty pathetically built. Do you really think any muscle is going to help me stand up to the kind of blokes who’s like to knock me out?” It was hard not to let the anger creep into my voice.

Finn sighed. “You’re reading into this too much. See, when I was in school, I was nothing special. I was little, I had fuck-all when it came to brainpower or grades and I definitely wasn’t getting any attention off boys or girls. I was spotty and I had braces because my teeth had grown out all weird. And when I was fourteen, I shot up in height. Mum used to say I was like a bean sprout. So then I was stupid, tall and gangly with acne. It was even worse than when I was small. I was noticeable once I’d grown. And when people made fun of my height, or my spots, or how I looked like a gust of wind would fucking knock me over, I felt pathetic.”

I nodded. I knew that feeling. I’d been feeling it for a solid half of my life.

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