Page 22 of Full Service

“Why are you here, Mam?” This was how we were around one another. A strained impasse after years of telling me how disappointed she was in me. No hug for me, just one for a man she hadn’t seen in years and whom she’d let say I wasn’t good enough once upon a time.

“Thing is, I completely forgot my MOT was due. And the clutch is making an awful squeaking noise. I was wondering if you could maybe take a look for me?”

“Alright, I’ll take a look for you. Drop your keys here and I’ll call you in the morning.”

It stung a little that she’d only dropped in when she needed me. I went over for the odd lunch or cup of tea, but not once in ten years had she dropped in on me for a cuppa or a gossip. I knew she went out of her way to call Gruff on a weekly basis to talk about his work in Cardiff and just generally check how he was doing.

“Thanks, love.” Mam took the car key off her keys and dropped it into my palm. She turned to Hywel. “And what are you doing here?”

Hywel seemed to freeze up for a second. Was he so embarrassed to be staying with me?

“He’s having his car fixed up and visiting Prentis for Christmas,” I said when he didn’t answer after another second. He looked my way gratefully and I gestured to the Aston Martin.

“Oh, how lovely is that? Amazing that you’ve managed such success. You should see Gruff’s car now. He’s got a lovely Jaguar. In fact, he’s down this weekend? Why don’t you come for dinner this Sunday. Both of you.”

Hywel still hadn’t spoken, so I made a pretence of dropping my Mam’s key off on the workbench at the back of the shop and poked at Hywel’s behind with my finger to snap him out of it.

“Yes, of course, would be lovely,” Hywel said in a rush. “I’d love to.”

Mam turned to me, her eyes inscrutable. Did she actually want me there? And how excruciating would it be to be sat between Gruff and Hywel for the first time in a decade?

I settled for “Yeah, whatever. I should be able to make it.”

“Great. Thanks again for the car stuff, I’ll see you tomorrow for the car…and Sunday for lunch.” And with a cheery wave, Mam left us.

“Well. That was thrilling,” I said. Hywel was still staring off into the distance, so I sat at the workbench and finished off the now lukewarm soup he had brought me.

“What’s up?” I asked him.

“Truth or strip?” Hywel said with a wry smile. He seemed to struggle with his words, grinding his teeth visibly until it all just came out at once.

“You asked me yesterday why I came here. Why I chose to stay here, rather than get a hotel or rent somewhere for the month? Brian didn’t just cheat on me. He cheated me out of money too. He was a lousy partner and a lousier business partner, and he conned me out of all my savings. So I have fuck all left. I came home to the one place in the world I didn’t think would cost me the Earth. I might have been able to afford Tudor’s hotel if there wasn’t a convention there, but I couldn’t afford to commute from Aber. And Prentis has no room for me.”

“So what are you doing here? Waiting for your money back from him?” I asked.

“Yeah, something like that,” said Hywel. “So it’s embarrassing seeing your mum because she likes me. And always pushed Gruff to be more like me. And I’m a big fat fraud because I hardly have any money to my fucking name. But I’m pretending to everyone else that I do.”

“Good thing you’re paying for my labour in rent rebates,” I joked. Half-joked, anyway.

Hywel sat on the floor next to his car and rubbed at the knees of his trousers. He looked so lost and hopeless that it was like watching him slip away into the current of a river.

“I have a Master’s Degree, you know,” I said. I didn’t have a clue what had prompted me to admit to it. But if we were both being a little bit honest with each other, why not?

“Really? In what?” Hywel asked.

“Automotive Engineering. After Mam got all angry with me that day and I moved in with my grandparents, I started my apprenticeship here and thoughtfuck her.I’d prove her wrong somehow. So I got my Bachelor’s as soon as I finished my apprenticeship, and completed my Master’s 3 years after that, part time whilst working here.”

“Bloody hell, well done!” Hywel looked impressed. Which is exactly why I didn’t tell people. “I don’t have a Master’s degree, I had to drop out when work got too tough.”

“Well, some of us are made of sterner stuff,” I joked.

“Seriously though, why don’t you tell more people about it? You should have it framed on the wall here somewhere.” Hywel looked around like I might have, and he’d missed it somehow.

“Because…I initially got it to prove my parents wrong.”And you,I added in my head. “And then after 3 years of work to get my first degree I realised I just didn’t care. And after the Master’s, I really didn’t care. I advertise that online to get my higher-calibre clients, but as my Mam has never bothered to check out the website I set up for this place years ago I doubt she’s ever going to find out.”

“You should tell her,” Hywel said. “She’d be proud of you.”

“She’d be proud of me for being more likeyou,” I said. “I wish she’d been proud of me for beingme. Every year that Gruff was at university my parents had to scrape together pennies to send him to help him live in London. I earned money throughout my apprenticeship. I supported myself through university and worked here the whole time and you know what? I feel most proud of myself for getting that apprenticeship in the first place.Thatis what made me who I am today. Alun and Steff reachingout with openness and kindness towards a skinny little kid with no prospects and no hope.”

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