Page 24 of Full Service

“Seen something you like?” said Macsen. Ah. Perhaps I hadn’t been as subtle as I wanted to be.

“Nothing I haven’t sucked before,” I said as casually as I could. I was probably so obsessed because the blowjob three days prior had made me more sexually frustrated, not less. I needed to get in someone’s pants before I exploded. Not Macsen’s though. I couldn’t make this any more fucking complicated, could I?

As if reading my mind Macsen spoke as he wrapped the towel around his waist and walked toward his room.. “I might head out to Aberystwyth tonight if you fancy. There’s a pub triallingan LGBT-friendly night on a Sunday and if I haven’t hanged myself from a light fitting at my parents’ house I’m going to need somewhere to unwind afterward.”

“Um, sure. How will we get back?” I asked. I was inspecting my nails very carefully rather than look up at him framed in the bedroom doorway.

“That’s the thing. I don’t. Find a fit guy, use him for a shag and for a place to stay. Shouldn’t be too difficult for either of us to do, then we’ll meet up in the morning to drive home.”

Something growled uneasily in my stomach. I looked up at Macsen, who was looking at me with an expectant smirk, still wrapped temptingly in just a towel. I’d slept around plenty of times in my life, but the uneasy feeling only intensified when I looked up at his face. “Yeah, sure,” I said.

“Right, do you need to use the shower before we go out?” Macsen asked. He looked me up and down like he was judging me. When you looked like Macsen you could judge anyone. He was like a man made by my own personal fairy godmother.

I nodded and walked into the bathroom, letting the door click behind me. I turned on the shower and stepped underneath the spray, allowing myself just a few minutes of this small luxury before I started to soap up. But of course, the water turned cold and made me want to shrivel up within a minute of me stepping in. I quickly lathered up with my dwindling fancy shampoo and washed myself off. I wrapped my own fluffy towel around my waist.

“You could take a shower just two minutes shorter and let me have the hot water,” I said to Macsen who was now stood in the kitchen with a glass of orange juice. He was dressed in a leather jacket, burgundy t-shirt and ripped jeans. “It would show just the tiniest bit of consideration.”

“Why would I do that?” Macsen asked with a smirk. “Can’t have you thinking I like you or anything.”

It definitely felt more like we were co-operating now but it still stung to remember that Macsen held whatever this grudge was against me. I rolled my eyes at him and leaned down to my bag to grab a pair of pants. As I did so, my towel came loose from my hips and fell to the floor before I could catch it.

“Fuck!” I said. I looked up to see if Macsen had seen. Of course he had, with his trademark smirk still in place. But as I watched his eyes flicked downward and back up again. Like he was looking me up and down in exactly the same way I had earlier.

“Seen something you like?” I parroted. Macsen looked right in my eyes for a second with such intensity I forgot I was getting dressed.

“Are you going to stand in my living room naked all day or are you actually getting dressed to go somewhere?” Macsen asked. I felt my ears heat up and pulled on my boxers quickly.

“What’s the vibe?” I asked, quickly pulling my boxers over damp legs to give myself some decency.

Macsen’s eyes followed the boxers’ journey before replying. “I don’t know, I seem to remember you dressing up like a preppy twat when you used to come over for dinner. But I’m not sure that’ll get you far when we go out.”

“Thanks for the…you know what, never mind.” I picked out a compromise outfit — a nice shirt and a pair of skinny jeans — and paired them with a Hermes belt that cost more than I had in my bank account.

“That’ll do,” said Macsen.

“One day you’ll manage an actual compliment,” I replied. “Don’t worry, we’ll work up to it.”

“Don’t count on it.” Macsen chuckled. “We’ll take my car.”

He walked out of the flat then, leaving me to pull on socks and shoes as quickly as possible and run out with the fear of being left behind.

I locked the door behind me and ran to the car. It was still cold and the completely grey blanket of clouds above seemed to be threatening snow. If Macsen and I ever got snowed in and stuck in the flat together I felt like we might just rip each other apart.

I had a new appreciation for Macsen’s car since he’d first compared it to the Aston Martin. It felt like a stereotypical boy racer car, sure, but it was nippy and fun. Macsen drove it with exactly the same kind of attitude I’d expect. I pulled on the seatbelt and relaxed into the bucket seat.

Macsen fired up the engine and drove the country lanes with the confidence of a man who had lived here his whole life. The radio blared cheesy 80s tunes and Macsen hummed long tunelessly with them. I wondered for a minute if this might have been my life had I not done so well at school, or chosen a closer university like Alaw. Would I have been drawn back here, back home?

No. London was my home. And I was struggling enough without my creature comforts now. At least in London I didn’t have to travel miles and miles for a hookup, like we were planning on doing later on. In London, Grindr measured the distance to the nearest man in centimetres. In London, men were proper, and rich, and…not Macsen. So that was that.

Macsen pulled up outside a familiar house. I hadn’t seen Caroline or Mick Lloyd in years, not really since the day Macsen had left their house and not come back. It was too awkward otherwise, feeling like the reason that he had left. Knowing Caroline’s high standards for her children extended further than Macsen could ever hope to reach in a trade where he worked with his hands.

Alongside the city car that Caroline had dropped off to the garage and picked up over the last couple of days there was another unfamiliar car. A Jaguar, which I guessed belonged to Gruff. I felt something curl up in the pit of my stomach and settlethere. It might not have been an Aston Martin, but I was feeling very inadequate in the moment.

A knock at the window shocked me out of my stupor. Macsen had gotten out of the car without me even noticing and was stood outside. “Admiring my brother’s new wheels?

I nodded. It wasn’t worth getting all soppy and philosophical on his parents’ driveway. My life had gone down the shitter, nothing I could do to change that. Talking about it wasn’t going to get my money back.

“You ready?” I asked Macsen.

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