Page 40 of Full Service

“Minimum fifty thousand. Seems doable from the valuations you’ve sent me, and I won’t need the money from you for a couple of months to give you time to find a buyer and complete.”

“Ah, Mike. Sorry, no can do. Things have changed a little bit. Two of the properties definitely aren’t getting sold. The owners…”

I didn’t have to finish making an excuse before Mike cut across me. “Don’t tell me two weeks has turned you into a bleeding heart?”

“Just…tell me what I can do with less than half that, when you have an answer.”

“Will do,” said Michael before the phone cut off. My stomach felt uncomfortable and in bits. There could have been a chance for me to not just get on my feet but do seriously well from it. And I’d just thrown it away.

I was almost at the garage, and the constant talking with people about my future had left me exhausted. I just wanted that safe space where I could kick back with Macsen and a beer, maybe cook for us tonight and harass him over his untidiness…and then, if he still wanted to, crawl into bed with him tonight.

I sighed out loud. After Alaw and Michael’s conversations, my head was in a spin. Michael’s investment call should have filled me with excitement. Wasn’t I chomping at the bit to be King ofLondon? Not really. If I was honest with myself, not really. The way Macsen had offered to share his bed with me, the thought of his mouth on mine…that’s what got my heart beating. The cranky bastard had his hooks in me and I had no idea if there was any of the same feeling there in reverse. Perhaps I could ask him.

I felt my heart rate tick up as I the garage came into view. The lights were on downstairs so I knew that Macsen was working still. I wondered if he’d finished on my car, or if maybe he would be working on some other project.

“What the fuck?” I asked as I rounded the corner, mostly to myself. In the absence of any other noise Macsen tilted his head backward to look at me.

The car looked brand new, pristine, ready to drive again. But for the fact every door, wheel and even the roof and headlights had been fearfully removed from the chassis and placed on the floor.

“I was going to just smash the windscreen up in front of you,” said Macsen. “But I got bored waiting and compromised with myself on revenge.”

“Revenge for what?” I asked dumbly. Had he not liked the sandwich?

“For your…ownership,” said Macsen. I noticed a couple of beer bottles behind him. Had he been drinking whilst working?

As if hearing my thoughts and determined to confirm them, he stood up, swaying a little as he took steps towards me. I noticed the screwdriver in his hand and took an automatic step backward, out of the welcoming light of the garage. Back out into the lightly falling snow which had settled in a thin sheet on the ground.

Macsen’s eyes locked on mine, then looked down at the screwdriver. “Oh,” he muttered before dropping it to the floor. “Sorry. Just wanted…to talk.”

“About what, Macsen? You’re…”scaring me,my mind supplied. But that sounded pathetic. “Confusing me. You’re really confusing me here.”

“You,” Macsen pointed as he took another few steps closer, coming almost to reaching distance before he stopped, “are a lying fucking bastard, you know that? I trusted you, I let you stay, and this whole time you’ve been lying to me. You weren’t waiting for that bastard to give you your money back. You were waiting for me to hand it over to you in exchange for…all this.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was dumbstruck. Macsen’s words were cruel, but they weren’t entirely untrue either. I’d lied to him, held his rent over his head as a bargaining tool, and as we had gotten closer and closer I’d kept up the lie.

And here were my consequences of my actions, all 6 foot of them and gorgeous, glaring at me with venom that hadn’t been apparent for well over a week now.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. Lamely. Stupidly.

“Sorry won’t really fucking cut it, will it?” said Macsen with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes at all.

“If it makes any difference, I changed my mind. I don’t want to sell if you don’t want it. You can just…”

“Just what? Lick your boots every time you come round in the hope you don’t change your mind when you need the money again? Don’t you see, there’s no scenario where you don’t hold all the power over me, and that sucks. Because I was really starting to fucking like you.”

I felt a lump rise in my throat. I wasnotgoing to cry. “I really like you too.”

“Well you fucked it up, didn’t you. Go on. Leave. I might put your car together again if you stay away for long enough.”

“Why are you like this?” I asked. I’d meant to ask him why he wasbeinglike that in the moment, but it came out all twisted and wrong.

“Like you can’t take some of the blame,” he spat back. He swayed slightly on the spot and even with the anger and bile I still wanted to walk forward and take him in my arms.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“All of this. My whole life, feeling like less than I am. You, talking me down to my mother behind my back. Making her think less of me.”

I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me. Even on this chilly night, the garage seemed to drop about twenty degrees. Had he heard me the day he’d run? Is that why he’d run? My stupid attitude hadn’t just ruined mine and Gruff’s friendship, but led to Macsen feeling inferior. Even unloved.

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