Page 50 of Full Service

Macsen sat on the opposite side of the room to me, with Gruff in between us. I didn’t know if it was deliberate, but from the way he kept sneaking glances at me I thought it might have been. I just wanted to cross the room and kiss him.

I watched as Macsen and Gruff tore into their big piles of presents like they were kids. Caroline and Mick didn’t have much to give them when they were younger, so it seemed they were making up for that now.

I opened my own presents from the two of them. They were just the generic kind of presents I knew I’d buy for someone I didn’t know so well - socks, underwear, toiletry sets. But it still felt special that they had put the time into buying for me.

“I don’t know what to say…but thank you,” I said to them after I’d finished unwrapping.

I passed Gruff the present I’d bought him - a Lego X-Wing fromStar Warsthat Nathan in the Nerd Emporium had assured me he’d been eyeing up, and I’d bought MacsenCars forDummies. It was a stupid gift, I knew. But I didn’t know what else to get him without giving my whole bloody heart away.

He grinned at me as he opened it. “Funny.”

“I’m a real jokester.” And we just kept looking at each other.

Until Caroline cleared her throat and I realised that we’d let the world fall away round us.Fucking hell, get a grip.

“Did you get Hywel a gift then, Mac?” Mick asked.

I watched as Macsen turned slightly pink in space between the edge of his beard and his eyes. “Seems stupid now,” he muttered.

I hadn’t been expecting anything from him. Just a week earlier we’d been back at each other’s throats. But now in this newfound truce and dalliance, where I wasn’t staying at his flat but I was being invited round by his parents for Christmas dinner, I had no way to expect what Macsen might do. Or might have done for me.

“I’m…going out for some fresh air,” Macsen said. He stood up quickly, swaying as he held his wine and made for the back door.

“…me too,” I said pretty lamely and got up to follow him. It had gotten dark outside, but the bright pink Christmas hat on Macsen’s head made him a pretty easy target to spot. That and I thought by now I could probably pick him out of a crowd of thousands.

Macsen was leaning up against Mick’s tool-shed, holding a cigarette in his hand like he was contemplating it.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” I said.

“I don’t. I nicked this out of Gruff’s pack on the way out. He uses them to de-stress. Don’t know what I’d fucking do with it anyway, I don’t even have a lighter.”

“What is there to stress about? It’s Christmas.” I asked the question despite knowing the answer. My own heart rate was through the roof and didn’t seem to be heading down to Earth any time soon.

Macsen reached into his back pocket and held out a tiny package. It was taped together so thoroughly I had no idea how I was going to get into it. He looked down at the cigarette as if trying to unravel all its secrets rather than look me in the eye.

I finally got one end of the package open and shook the contents into my hand. There was one silver key I recognised well, and another. A car key.

“What the hell?” I asked more to myself than anyone. When I looked up at Macsen he was still looking away.

“What…is this?” I asked.

“Thing is, I know you have a key. That bit is stupid. But it’s…symbolic, you know? I just want you to know even after the argument, you’re welcome to the garage any time. You might have given it to me, but I like having you there. I want you to come and go as you please.”

“And this?” I held up the car key.

“That…so don’t think of it as a huge present, please? A friend of mine was scrapping a beautiful 90s BMW, and I couldn’t let him get trade it in for scrap. It’s a banger but I can restore it. I’ll make it bloody beautiful. And once Calvin has paid for the Aston, you’ll need some way to get around.”

“You bought me a car?” I asked incredulously. “An actual car?”

“Honestly, it was scrap value. I wasn’t buying itforyou as such. It was-”

Before Macsen could finish, I’d cut him off with a kiss. I surprised both of us with the force and intensity of it, and I was vaguely aware of the wine glass in my hand slipping out and falling into the grass. I kept the keys tightly gripped in my other hand.

“Thank you,” I said between kisses. “I want you.”

“Here?” Macsen muttered. “Now?”

“No, stupid. I…I want us. I’d like you to be with me and me to be with you. No mixed messages. No possessive words said during a shag. I want to be…I’d like to be your boyfriend. If that’s OK.”

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