“Aurora Rhodes has a furnished apartment,” she said quietly. “She’s offered it to me, and it’s close to work.”
Close to work. Not closeto me.
So, she talked to hernewcolleagues about our problems, and they offered help. It grated on me that strangers knew our business. But I curbed that because, all along, I’d been thinking about whatIneeded and wanted, now, I had to change that mindset and learn to pay attention to what my wife needed and wanted.
She needed a break fromus,and as much as that hurt, it was what she wanted.
I nodded, even though my entire body was rejecting the idea. “And what does…what does this mean for us?”
She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. “It means I need to think. I need to figure out what I want, who I am outside of being your wife and the mother of our kids.”
“You’re Ophelia Boone.” I came to her and cupped her cheeks. “You’re my wife, the woman I love, the only thing that has ever made sense in my life.”
Her eyes searched mine, filled with pain, with doubt, with what looked achingly close to regret. “That’s the problem, Sebastian. I don’t know if I want to be Ophelia Boone anymore.”
My stomach clenched like I’d taken a punch to the gut. “You don’t mean that.”
She shook her head. “I mean, I don’t want to be theoldme…I want…I don’t know what I want,” she admitted, despair dripping from her. “I just?—”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay. I promise. I’m going to fixthis.”
I didn’t know how, but I was going to find a way. I had caused my wife pain, and there was no excuse for that, no reprieve.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t know it was this bad.” I rubbed my chin on her hair.
“I didn’t know how miserable I was.” Her voice was muffled with tears, and because she was burrowing into me. “But I was…I am.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “Do you…want a divorce?”
It damn near killed me to wait for her answer. “No.” She looked at me, her eyes pleading. “I don’t want that, but I don’t want to…Sebastian, I need space.”
For how long, baby? A day? Two days? I don’t think I’ll last too long without you.
Fuck!When we started doing better these past weeks, I knew that it was not going to last because I knew that a few good weeks couldn’t undo years of damage. This wasn’t just Lia being upset; she was deeply wounded, andIhad inflicted those wounds.
Lia took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. “I’ll pack some things tomorrow.”
I nodded stiffly. “Stay tonight with me?”
“Yes,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. I wiped them.
“Come on, baby, let’s get some sleep. Let me hold you.”
Please, God, don’t make this the last time.
CHAPTER 17
Ophelia
“You’re going to have lunch with Dad today?” Sebastian asked as he poured me a cup of coffee.
“Yes.”
I felt nervous and foolish. Was I making a mistake by asking for a separation? I was so confused, but the idea of having space felt good. Having time to myself so I could better understandmefelt like the right thing to do. But when I looked at Sebastian’s ashen face and knew he was crumbling, I wanted to do nothing more than to hold on to him.
“Sebastian?” I cleared my throat.