Page 12 of Across the Universe

“Do you think that perhaps so many women go into the domestic field of motherhood and wifehood because it’s what’sexpectedof them? And that maybe that expectation crushes or minimizes their own dreams of being teachers, lawyers, world-travelers, or ballerinas? I mean, how many women do you know who grow up to be lawyers or ballerinas, versus the number of men you know who are firemen or doctors?”

Bill clamps his mouth shut. She’s right. He knows no ballerinas, and no female lawyers. Okay, well, he knows Frankie Maxwell, who had been a Rockette and who now owns the dance studio in town where so many little girls learn to be ballerinas… but will they come to realize sooner rather than later that “ballerina” isn’t a real profession within their reach? That what their families, friends, and society expect of them is that they’ll memorize at least one recipe for each day of the week, and that they’ll cheerfully wake up all night long with sick or colicky babies?

“Okay, point taken,” Bill says. He’s been reprimanded. “But what else could I have done to help Jo become something else if she was already being indoctrinated, so to speak, by the rest of the world?”

“Well,” Dr. Sheinbaum says, blowing out a long breath. “Maybe nothing. After all, these are long-held belief systems in play. But she’s your wife, and she’s a fully actualized human being, Bill. No doubt she has dreams of her own. Things she’d like to accomplish outside the kitchen. Unless she’s the next Julia Child,” she adds with a wry smile.

Bill’s lips quirk up involuntarily. “She’s a wonderful cook, but no, being the next famous chef is undoubtedly not in Jo’s future.” He pauses for a moment, picking at the seam of his slacks. “I know she wants to write. And when we first moved here three years ago, she started volunteering at Stardust General and made some mention of possibly being interested in nursing. Are you saying I should encourage her to go to nursing school?”

Dr. Sheinbaum makes a face that lets him know that, no, she had not meant that at all. “That’s open to your interpretation, Bill. What I am doing is trying to show you the possibility that your wife feels some sense of disillusionment about life. I think many women do, in fact. They realize, after doing all the things the world tells them they’resupposedto do, that they’ve somehow missed something.”

“I don’t want Jo to miss anything.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Bill,” Dr. Sheinbaum says, but her tone borders on indulgent. “And it’s worth considering that you might want to encourage Jo to think about activities that fulfill her. But I also want you to see that even listening to her talk about what she wants might be an avenue towards the closeness you’re currently missing with her.”

Bill nods. “I see.”

“And you have two daughters, correct?” Bill nods at her question. “How old?”

“Nancy is twelve—nearly thirteen—and Kate is about to turn ten.” He shakes his head. “Time is flying. You forget, don’t you?”

Dr. Sheinbaum gives him a closed-lip smile. “I don’t have children of my own, but I can imagine.”

“I’m sorry,” Bill says, then wonders whether that’s the right or wrong thing to say to a childless woman. He grimaces slightly.

“No need to be. I’m perfectly happy.” Dr. Sheinbaum lets a beat pass between them. “But I want you to consider the future for your daughters. If your youngest is ten in 1966, she’ll be thirty in 1986. The world might—and most likely will—be a very different place for her in that new era. Maybe itwon’tbe expected that she marry and be a homemaker.” She unfolds her hands and turns her palms to the ceiling. “Maybe she’ll have choices and avenues open to her that Jo and other women currently don’t.”

Bill thinks about this: 1986. They will have been to the moon by then, maybe more than once! (Of course his mind goes there first.) Music will change, fashion will change… maybe they’ll have flying cars or telephones with video images, like watching a television screen with the person you’re calling looking back at you.

Bill shakes his head in wonder. “Okay, I get your point. But how does all this pertain to what happened on New Year’s Eve? To me fighting with a senator’s son in the kitchen of the Stardust Beach Hilton and getting sent to see a shrink so that I don’t lose my job?”

Dr. Sheinbaum stares right at him. “How does itnotpertain to that, Bill? A man who feels settled at home doesn’t swing on the son of a senator.” She holds up both hands to ward off his comeback. “I get that he made you angry, but was there something he said that you can trace back to your marriage—in any way?”

Bill is about to deny this hotly when he realizes that she’s right: Jeanie. Ted Mackey had danced with Jeanie. Touched Jeanie. Set off a firestorm in Bill’s heart… all because of Jeanie. And if things were right for him at home, there would be no Jeanie.

He holds his tongue and simply nods.

Dr. Sheinbaum nods in return. “Okay. Your homework for this week is to sit down with Jo and talk to her about her dreams. Either the ones she still has, the ones she thinks she’s achieved, or the ones she deferred when she became Mrs. Bill Booker. Maybe all three.”

This is a tall order, but Bill nods again. “Okay. I can do that.”

Dr. Sheinbaum stands. “Fabulous. And now my homework is to water my plants before they die,” she says, walking back over to the jade and the African violets. “I’ll see you next week, Bill.”

And with that, she turns her back on him, and Bill is dismissed.

CHAPTER4

Jo

Jo and Frankiehave wandered down to the park in their neighborhood, and they’re sitting side-by-side on the swings, gently swaying back and forth in the waning evening light.

"Here," Frankie says, passing Jo the cigarette in her hand. Jo takes it, puts it to her lips, and inhales with squinted eyes. "You doing okay, Joey-girl?"

Jo exhales and passes the cigarette back. She wraps both hands around the chains that hold her swing to its bar above and leans back, kicking up her feet so that the swing will gain some momentum.

"I'm alright," Jo says noncommittally.

"You know, Iwantto believe you, but I don't."

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