Page 23 of The Cruise Club

‘The canal is too narrow for large vessels and cruise ships,’ Sid explained to Fran as they gripped the railing, ‘but as theDiamond Staris smaller, she will go through with only feet to spare.’

Everyone held their breath as they began to enter the canal. Carved out of the rocky land, it would reduce the journey by 185 nautical miles, and as they inched forward, Peter’s voice resumed.

‘This is one of the oldest man-made canals in the world. It took centuries to complete and requires immense skill by Captain Bellwood to manoeuvre such a large vessel. This famous canal was the brainchild of the Roman emperor Nero, who attempted the construction inAD67 by taking a pickaxe himself to dig up the first pieces of rock… Progress stalled after Nero’s death and only restarted in 1881 and completed in 1893.’

‘Why aren’t we bumping into the walls?’ Fran asked as she leaned back against Sid and the towering rock face loomed closer.

‘Hold your breath, love,’ Sid said, ‘there’s barely three feet on either side, but the captain is skilful.’ He stared in awe at the tunnel-like surround, almost within arm’s reach.

Don stepped away from the rail. ‘The last time I saw something this dark, I was examining Debbie’s bank balance,’ he quipped. ‘If it gets any narrower, we’ll need butter to squeeze through.’

The canal seemed to stretch endlessly; the quiet hum of the ship’s engines amplified beside the gentle whisper of water as they glided along. Long shadows closed in, casting darkness over the deck, and Debbie said that she hoped they didn’t get stuck. When the cliffs appeared perilously close, the passengers gasped as they saw shafts of sunlight illuminating the golden tons of rock, a sharp contrast to the slither of blue sky above.

Fran felt Sid’s arms wrap tightly around her body. ‘It feels like time has stood still,’ she whispered.

‘Let’s put it in our memory bank,’ Sid said, ‘for the days when we can’t make memories like this anymore.’

‘How much further?’ Fran asked, snuggling close.

‘Well, the canal is four miles long, and we’ve been going for nearly two hours, so we should be through soon.’

As Sid spoke, the cliffs gave way to open water and, moments later, they emerged into the Aegean Sea. The deck erupted with applause and cheers as Captain Bellwood safely delivered their unique experience.

‘I’m so thrilled to have done this,’ Fran said, ‘do you think we should buy the captain a drink?’

Sid chuckled, taking her hand. ‘I don’t want Captain Bellwood to steer us off course. Next, you’ll ask him to let you have a turn at the helm.’

From the navigation deck, Peter spoke up. ‘On behalf of Captain Bellwood and the entire crew of theDiamond Star, we hope you enjoyed this historic journey. We’ll be at sea for the rest of the day as we make our way to the beautiful island of Rhodes, and if you’d like to join us, we’ll be serving complimentary Corinth Cocktails in the Mermaid Theatre.’

Don had a spring in his step. ‘Free cocktails? It would be rude to say no.’ He guided Debbie away.

‘Did someone say cocktails?’ Betty piped up from her chair.

Fran glanced at Carmen, noticing her worried expression. ‘Sid told me that your author is talking today,’ Fran said. ‘It’s scheduled in theDiamond Star Daily News.’

‘Yes, Ruskin is giving a talk in the Neptune Theatre in half an hour.’ Carmen glanced at her watch, ‘But Mum seems set on trying a cocktail.’

‘No problem.’ Fran smiled. ‘Sid and I will take charge. You get yourself off to the talk.’

Fran reached out to grab Betty’s chair. ‘Let’s go, Sidney,’ she called out. ‘The Golden Oldies Gang are meeting in the Mermaid Theatre – and that’s where the Corinth Cocktails are waiting!’

On the lido deck, Dicky stretched out on a steamer-style sunbed. It lay in a line curving around an oval shaped swimming pool, where at one end, a hot tub simmered. Dicky cradled a cocktail with a colourful umbrella and savoured the moment of solitude while everyone crowded on deck to experience the ship inching its way through the famed Corinth Canal. Dicky held a notebook and pen and wondered what jokes he could whip up to include in his act. He was due to host a quiz in the Mermaid Theatre for the Golden Oldies Gang, and later, would be on stage to compere the evening’s entertainment.

‘I’ve never seen land so close,’ Dicky read from his notes, ‘the captain must be demonstrating parallel parking.’ He grimaced, then began again. ‘Remember folks, sometimes the best part of a cruise is surviving the journey!’ Deciding that the joke was inappropriate on a ship full of pensioners, he hastily erased the words.

He’d have to do better than that.

As the sun dimmed and the walls of the canal loomed high, Dicky flipped his Ray-Bans and glanced around the deck. Not a soul to be seen. Thankfully, not even the wealthy widow whom he’d entertained last night.

Earlier that day he’d been keen to leave the lady’s suite.Tip-toeing around, he’d hoped she wouldn’t stir as he slipped into his clothes, and she slumbered heavily in the king-sized bed. The ornate chandelier and plush rugs were a long way from the dim lights and linoleum floor of his lower deck cubbyhole, and as Dicky edged into the palatial lounge of the suite, he grabbed a beer from the minibar before tripping over a silver sling-backed shoe.

‘Bloody hell,’ he cursed, thinking of the podgy foot the previous evening that had kicked off the shoe and most of her clothes as Dicky popped the cork from a bottle of expensive champagne. Seeing an open clutch bag, where a considerable stash of fifty-euro notes was tucked into a zipped section, Dicky pocketed four crisp notes.She won’t miss them, he thought. As he left the suite, he’d checked the corridor to ensure there were no prying eyes to witness his escape.

Now, smoothing a layer of oily sunscreen over his conker-coloured chest, Dicky relished the fact that his encounters barely had any consequences. His targets, often too embarrassed to expose the comedian, usually dismissed the experience, if they remembered it at all, as nothing more than a fleeting holiday fling. A brief moment seized in the twilight of later life.

Let’s face it, Dicky thought with a smile,they got their money’s worth!Revved up and ready to go with the aid of a little blue pill, Dicky’s stamina made a marathon runner look like they were off on a light jog. But when the effect of the enhancer wore off, Dicky was like a deflated balloon.

Now exhausted, he closed his eyes, hoping to catch a few hours’ sleep away from the ship’s engine that incessantlyreverberated in his cabin. Daydreaming about his past mistakes, Dicky remembered Anne, who was closer in age to him. They’d enjoyed four glorious months on the Costa Brava but like the fool that he was, he’d messed it up. An unforgiving Anne hadn’t accepted his dalliance with another woman nor his promise of reform. Before he could utter, ‘It will never happen again!’ Anne had left him with nothing but a suitcase of empty memories.

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