Page 52 of The Cruise Club

Carmen was about to leave when one of the dance hosts made an announcement. He began by asking everyone to take a seat, then explained that they were to be entertained by two talented dancers. Many guests would remember the act from their performance on TV forBritain’s Star Search.

‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ he said, ‘please put your hands together for Kyle and Terry, the one and only Tango Tootsies!’

Intrigued, Carmen looked on.

The lights dimmed, and as the band began to play ‘You Raise Me Up’, a couple stepped into the spotlight. They were dressed in black, with shiny patent shoes and sequinned fringing on their shirts and trousers. The two men moved like graceful swans, their steps perfectly synchronised as they glided across the floor. At the pinnacle of the chorus, Terry raised a beaming Kyle high into the air, and the audience gasped.

Carmen glanced at the lady beside her and saw that she had tears in her eyes. ‘It’s the closest thing to heaven when you dance with someone you love,’ she said, her voice filled with emotion. Carmen smiled at the lady and patted her shoulder, hoping Kyle and Terry’s mesmerising routine wouldn’t inspire Holden and Betty to attempt something similar. Then, realising that she might be late for the show, Carmen crept away from the entertaining performance.

‘Good morning gang!’ Kyle called out cheerfully, bringing Carmen back to the present.

Barefoot and wearing a bright headband that matched his stretchy shorts, Kyle wore a loose tank top and wristbands. ‘Now, my young at-heart yogis,’ he said, ‘today we are going to align our chakras, but first, we’re going to begin with a gentle stretch.’

Carmen wondered what a chakra was and looking around, was pleased to see Debbie close by, looking bright and eager. Wearing beige leggings and a flesh-toned top, Debbie appeared to have recovered from her episode of the day before.

As Kyle’s yogis moved slowly and he encouraged theminto more adventurous positions, Carmen heard a sound like a whoopee cushion and turned to see Debbie, in the downward dog.

‘Oops,’ Debbie winked at Carmen, ‘I shouldn’t have had prunes for breakfast.’

Kyle held out his hands and balanced on one leg. ‘Imagine you’ve a cocktail in each hand,’ he said, ‘and you don’t want to spill them.’

Several yogis stumbled, and one man keeled over.

‘Please, lie on your backs,’ Kyle instructed to those still standing, ‘time for our peaceful meditation.’

Around her, Carmen heard bones creak as they all lay down, but Kyles’s words soothed as he explained a breathing technique, and Carmen gazed up at the sky, where wispy blue clouds floated lazily. One or two yogis had fallen asleep and to a background of gentle snores, she felt her thoughts drifting away to the show in the Neptune Theatre the evening before, where Dicky Delaney had hosted a Tamla Motown evening. He’d followed the acts with his own stand-up routine, and Carmen and Theo had agreed that Dicky was at the top of his game; it was a hilarious hour of comedy.

Next to her, Debbie had dozed off but suddenly woke when Don appeared by her side. Towering over her, he called out, ‘Ey, up, Yogi Bear, it’s time for our elevenses. By heck, you look like a crumpet in a nylon stocking in that get-up.’

Startled, Carmen opened her eyes as Debbie rose and glared at Don. Struggling to her feet, she elbowed him out of her way.

‘Namaste,’ Kyle said. The instructor was sitting cross-legged, holding his palms together in a pyramid.‘You’ve all done amazingly well, now don’t forget to keep practising.’

Theo thought he might be nervous as he stood by the side of the stage, waiting for Peter to introduce his talk. But his nerves settled as he practised a breathing technique he’d learned while filming episodes ofMcCarthy’s Kitchen Adventures. He thought of Ruari, imagining his partner in a front-row seat, together with Theo in spirit.

‘You’ve got this,’ Ruari’s ghostly voice whispered, ‘spread a little sparkle wherever you go!’

Theo remembered Ruari repeating those words every time Theo performed, whether on camera for his TV series or in media interviews, and the words had become a catchphrase that Theo used to end his shows. If only his partner was with him today!Ruari would have loved this cruise, the luxury, the ambience and visiting all the interesting places.

But Ruari was gone. Slipping quietly away, his heart took its final sigh as he slept beside Theo. Unable to wake Ruari the following morning, Theo was numb when the ambulance arrived, knowing that the man with whom he’d shared so much love and laughter, had taken an early curtain call. Their beautiful life together was no longer, and Theo had to go on alone.

Theo touched his wrist and wished that Ruari’s bracelet was still there. Despite an endless search and reporting it missing, the gift had not been found.

‘Are you ready?’ Peter patted Theo’s shoulder while atechnical assistant ensured Theo’s mic was clipped to his jacket.

‘Absolutely, let’s go for it,’ Theo replied.

He watched Peter head to a podium, where he introduced Theo. The familiar theme music ofMcCarthy’s Kitchen Adventuresplayed, and loud applause began as Theo walked out and took his place.

Sitting down on a chair beside a table, a spotlight shone on Theo as he reached for a bottle of wine, took a glass and slowly poured. ‘Now, dear friends,’ he began, ‘I’m just going to have a little tipple.’

Laughter rang out throughout the Neptune Theatre. Every episode ofMcCarthy’s Kitchen Adventureshad begun this way, and Theo had become known for his tipples.

‘You must think that I drink a lot?’ Theo asked and studied the audience.

‘Nay, lad, just enough to keep us entertained!’ Don piped up from the back of the room.

Theo smiled. ‘When I first auditioned for television, I was asked to cook, unscripted, for an episode which the production company would show to the commissioners, hoping they’d authorise a series.’ Theo took another drink. ‘But guess what? Like a rabbit in the headlights live on camera, I dried up halfway through… As the producer waved his arms wildly, urging me on, I saw the wine on the table and poured myself a glass. I thought the producer was going to have a fit, but as I drank, I said to the camera, “Now, dear friends, I’m just going to have a little tipple,” and it gave me time to compose myself.’ Theo held up his glass to toast the audience. ‘And the rest, as they say, is history.’

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