Page 81 of The Cruise Club

‘Remarkably amenable since I took your advice and got the courage to break the news that I’d lost the gold chain. I thought she’d have a meltdown, but instead, it turns out she’s more concerned that I might misplace myself.’

Melody chuckled, her fingers teasing her hair under a nylon cap before reaching for a towering blonde wig. ‘Perhaps the chain was a fake?’

‘Hardly, I was with her when she purchased it.’

‘She must think a lot of you?’ Melody arched an eyebrow as she tweaked her hair into place. ‘Maybe you mean more to her than a piece of jewellery.’

Dicky leaned back, a grin playing on his lips. ‘She’s fallen for me all right, they always do.’ He shook his head. ‘Ironic when you think about it as I’ve made a career of telling jokes about middle-aged dating disasters and ridiculing old age.’

‘So, what’s your next move?’

‘My usual move. What happens on the cruise stays onthe cruise.’ Dicky shrugged. ‘When this journey ends, so does the relationship.’ He swivelled in his chair, suddenly thoughtful. ‘The thing is, though, she makes me feel good, even when my jokes bomb.’ He lowered his head and stared at his hands, ‘I know she’s a bit older than me, but I think I’m starting to fall for her.’

‘Bloody hell, Dicky!’ Melody’s mouth dropped open, ‘That’s not in the script. Love ’em and leave ’em is the motto on any ship.’

‘Yeah, I know, and I also know I’m just a temporary fling for her. There are a thousand Dicky Delaneys out there, sailing the seas, available for anyone wealthy enough to buy a few hours of their time. She’ll move on to someone else as soon as she boards the next cruise.’

Melody was quiet as she began to apply eyeliner. Then, as she dusted her cheeks with shimmering highlighter, she said, ‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘Don’t stress, I’ll get over it, and in the meantime, we have a show to put on.’ He stood and, reaching out, unhooked Melody’s outfit from a rail. It was a dazzling concoction of fringe, sequins and rhinestones. ‘Tonight, Melody Moon, you are Dolly Parton!’

‘And you need to get changed.’ Melody smiled, nodding towards Dicky’s outfit.

‘Fifteen minutes, Kenny and Dolly!’ a voice called out.

Dicky and Melody exchanged a look of solidarity, and with a firm nod to the other, finished their preparations for the show.

There was a gentle murmur of conversation and the clink of glasses as Carmen and Theo sat in the Terrace Restaurant and enjoyed their evening, dining with several new faces, at a large circular table. Guests delighted to be in Theo’s company urged him to tell tales of his time on television and in escapades duringMcCarthy’s Kitchen Adventures. As Theo told an amusing story of making ostrich egg omelettes on an open plain in the Serengeti, in Tanzania, while several ostriches got perilously close to his cooking pots, Carmen looked around and noticed Betty and Holden, sitting at a corner table by a window.

The glow of candlelight enhanced Betty’s face, and her usually sharp features softened as she leaned slightly forward, her hand nestling in Holden’s.

Carmen watched with quiet astonishment.

Betty had been the dominant one all of Carmen’s life, setting the rules for her daughter and delivering the last word in a tone that could cut through steel. But now, her mother was unrecognisable, clearly doting and hanging off Holden’s words, it was almost bittersweet that Betty had found love on the cruise despite her years.

Carmen raised her glass. She knew that she should be pleased for Betty, but at that moment, she could only feel relief. If there was the slightest chance that Betty had the opportunity to sail off into the sunset with Holden, Carmen would encourage it. The prison gates were opening, and Carmen saw the possibility of life without Betty.

‘If he proposes,’ she whispered, ‘I hope you accept.’

After dinner, Theo and Carmen went to the Neptune Theatre and found a seat near the stage. When the lights dimmed, the show started, and theDiamond StarDance Troupe began to entertain the audience. Starting with a sultry tango, the dancers moved across the stage with precise steps, executing daring lifts and dramatic spins. The females wore revealing, flowing red gowns, while the men performed in sleek tuxedos.

Carmen joined in with the audience, clapping along to the high-energy rhythm of the music. Her eyes widened as a spotlight followed a solo tap dancer, whose rapid-fire footwork created a whirlwind with each flawless move. For the grand finale, the dancers transformed the stage into a carnival spectacle in feathered headdresses and vibrant costumes, they spun and twirled like flames leaping and dancing in a fire, closing their show with a high octave performance.

‘That was wonderful,’ Carmen said to Theo as they applauded.

Peter came onto the stage and thanked the dancers. Raising his hand, he smiled and said, ‘Tonight, everyone, for one night only, we have a very special act, and I’d like you all to join me and give a big hand as we present aDiamond Startribute to… Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton!’

Multi-coloured lights danced across velvet curtains that slowly drew back, and the band began an introduction medley of country music.

Hand in hand, Dicky and Melody walked forward.

Dicky was convincing as Kenny Rogers. With a perfectly trimmed snow-white beard and wig, and wearing a suit with a western-style tie, he carried the aura of the countrymusic legend. Beside him, Melody, as Dolly Parton, was spectacular. Her blonde wig towered and fell gently on her shoulders and her sequined dress emphasised a shapely figure. Gliding across the stage, when she spoke, her voice perfected Dolly’s southern drawl.

‘Good evenin’ y’all,’ she said, flicking her curls. ‘I’m not offended by any dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I know I’m not blonde.’

‘Well, Dolly,’ Kenny replied, ‘I’m still tryin’ to figure out if I’m dumb and using the wrong shampoo.’ He smiled and stroked his pure white hair.

Dolly adjusted her exaggerated bosom and began to sing, and Kenny stood back as the sound of ‘Jolene’ filled the auditorium. Their act continued with ‘Jackson’, a duet by Johnny Cash and June Carter. The pair continued to move seamlessly through several more numbers, and each song found the crowd clapping along.

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