Page 1 of Captured Love

1

SELENE

I’m convinced that I’m preparing to walk into the lion’s den. That’s the only way I can describe the feeling that is pulsing through my veins. I should be comfortable, being that I’m in my element, but calm is like a foreign word to me.

Even though I’m blasting music that is supposed to make me feel like I can take on anything, it’s not working the way that I want it to. Instead, I’m standing in front of my mirror, fiddling with the hem of my green top—which is supposed to make my green eyes pop—trying to decide whether it looks good enough. It’s tight, but in a way that’s supposed to make me feel powerful. I adjust it again, trying to force my nerves to settle. This is not the time to feel self-conscious. It’s time for me to own this.

I rub my hands down the front of my leggings just before I flash myself a smile in the mirror, and it’s obvious to me that it’s fake. However, I hope it reads like the confident woman I show the world on a daily basis.

Beneath this whole persona, I’m still me. The me that worries about not being enough. The me that wonders if this is all just one big mistake. But I push those thoughts away. I can’t let them ruin this.

This is the start of something. I don't know what exactly, but I can feel it. Like I’m standing at the edge of something that could either be amazing or disastrous, and I’m just daring myself to take the leap.

Tonight, I’m going to see Knox Sanchez.

Alone.

In his bedroom.

The guy all my friends say is trouble. The guy who’s as emotionally unavailable as he is annoyingly hot. The dude who, for reasons I can’t quite understand, I can’t seem to stay away from.

The day that he and I met still lives rent free in my mind. Jade Samuels’s words still play on repeat in my head. She warned me by saying,“Knox has a bit of a reputation. He’s not exactly known for his long-term commitments, if you catch my drift.”

Hailey Reed, her best friend, agreed. Not to mention that her boyfriend, and hockey captain of the Crestwood Red Wolves, told her the same. Both of them made me wish that I could push the urge I had to get to know him more out of my mind, but I would be lying to everyone as well as myself.

I even managed to tell them that I wasn’t looking for anything serious anyway—to get them off my case.

Which is true. Or at least, it used to be true.

But that’s something I can’t dwell on right now.

Because he does seem to be interested in me. The night we met, we exchanged numbers. While it took a little bit of time, I feel as if he’s warmed up to me.

We’ve been texting for weeks now, and each message from him sends a little jolt of excitement through me. Not that I let him know that. I play it cool, like this is no big deal. Like he’s just another guy.

But it’s a lie. I know that, and maybe that’s what scares me the most.

My music takes the opportunity to switch to “Run For the Hills”by Tate McRae. Is that a sign that I’m about to ignore?

Probably.

I grab my phone and silence the music. I thought the sudden silence would help, but it doesn’t. The music had been on to help drown out my thoughts as well as hype me up, but what I didn’t need was for it to call me out as well.

Before I set my phone aside, I swipe over to my messages and scroll through old texts with Knox. The first conversation that catches my eye is from a few weeks ago, where I sent him a screenshot of some cheesy reality dating show. I told him in all caps that he had to watch it with me just so we could quote, “dissect, and mock every second.”

It was a brave thing for me to do and I can admit that I did it after I’d taken a couple of shots of tequila in my room.

Cause who does that to another guy you aren’t already friends with. I remember how he teased me for even suggesting it, making me thankful that he didn’t make it weird or just ignore me.

I keep scrolling. There’s the time he sent me a late-night text with a meme about Brewed Beginnings, our local coffee shop because of a recipe I shared with him. Then there was that message where we spent half an hour arguing about which ‘90s song was the ultimate throwback. Not to mention the innuendos that could go one way or the other.

It’s not like these messages are dripping with romance, but it still feels like there is something else there. I thought I might have been overanalyzing the situation too much, but when he invited me over to his place, I knew where this was heading.

And I can’t wait, even though the nerves are still very much here, shifting me back to the present. I think about turning themusic back on and just switching the song, but instead I just stand there, staring at myself in the mirror.

I trace the outline of my lips with my fingertip, wondering if adding a red lip would make me look more daring or like I’m trying too hard. The rest of my makeup is subtle, the kind that’s supposed to look like there’s barely any on even though it took me a good thirty minutes to perfect. I want to look like myself, just a bolder, more confident version than I usually pretend to be. The kind of girl who can handle a guy like Knox Sanchez without getting in too deep.

“Who are you kidding?” I mutter to my reflection. It stares back at me with wide, doubtful eyes. Green as a forest after a good rain, Mom used to say when I was a kid. Sometimes I think they're too honest for their own good, giving away every fear and insecurity I'm trying to hide.

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