Page 28 of Captured Love

Isla frowns but doesn't push, moving on to another rack. I follow behind her, trying to pretend to be interested as she gives her opinion on the clothes. But with each passing minute, the knot in my stomach grows tighter.

It's not that I don't like shopping. I do, usually. But lately, every time I step into a dressing room, all I can see are the ways my body doesn't measure up. The way the fabric is tight across my stomach, the way my thighs look huge in skinny jeans.

Isla pulls out a floral sundress and holds it up to me. “This would look so cute on you! You have to try it on.”

I take the dress from her, running my fingers over the soft fabric. It's beautiful, but I can already imagine how it will cling to all the wrong places. “I don't know. It's not really my style either.”

She puts her hands on her hips. “Selene, what's going on? You love sundresses. And you've vetoed everything I've suggested so far.”

I sigh and do everything I can to avoid looking her in the eyes. “I'm just not feeling it today, okay? Maybe we should just go get that pretzel.”

Isla's expression softens and she takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Hey, talk to me. What's really bothering you?”

I blink back the sudden tears that spring to my eyes. I fucking hate how emotional and vulnerable I feel. “It's stupid. I just... I don't feel good about myself right now. Nothing fits right and I feel like everyone is staring at me, judging me for not being as thin as you or the other girls here.”

Isla's eyes widen with surprise just before she pulls me into a tight hug. “Oh, Selene. I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were feeling this way. You are beautiful, inside and out. Your worth is not defined by your dress size or what anyone else thinks. You are strong, confident, and amazing just as you are.”

I sniff, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I know; logically I know that. But sometimes it's hard to really believe it, you know? I need to get a handle on all of this again,” I say, gesturing to my body.

“I do know,” Isla says softly. “Body image stuff is no joke. It can mess with your head. But I'm here for you, always. And I think you're a total goddess, for the record.”

Her words make me smile even as a few stubborn tears escape down my cheeks. I break our hug and then say, “Thanks and this is obviously why we are best friends.”

She pulls out a tissue from her purse and hands it to me. “It’s one of many reasons. I’m not sure I would have gotten through living in NYC or my PCOS diagnosis without you.”

“Okay, now you’re going to make me start sobbing in public. Thanks a lot.”

I can see tears starting to well up in Isla’s eyes now. “Look at us, getting all emotional in the middle of a store. People are going to think we're crazy.”

I smile at her through my tears. “Let them. We're allowed to have a moment.”

We both take a few seconds to collect ourselves, dabbing at our eyes with tissues. When we've composed ourselves, I tell her, “Okay, enough of the pity party. Let's just grab that pretzel and call it a day.”

Isla pauses, but then says, “I have another idea if you’re okay with it.”

“What is it?”

“I think I might have a store in mind that you might feel more comfortable in if you want to check it out. If not, I’m down to go get pretzels.”

She takes my hand and leads me out of the shop and after five minutes, we finally stop in front of a store I've never been in before. The window display features mannequins of all shapes and sizes, dressed in trendy but comfortable looking clothes.

“This place just opened last month,” Isla explains. “They specialize in clothes for all body types. And look, they even have a sign about body positivity right in the window.”

I look at the sign she's pointing to. In bold letters, it reads “Love Your Body. Every Body is Welcome Here.”

Something about the message makes my throat tighten with emotion. Isla gives my hand a squeeze. “Let's go in, just to look around. No pressure, okay?”

I nod and let her pull me inside. The store has a warm, inviting atmosphere, with soft lighting and upbeat music playing. A saleswoman with the name ‘Kate’ written on her nametag greets us with a friendly smile.

“Hi there! Welcome in. Let me know if you need any help finding your size or trying things on.”

I manage a small smile back at Kate. “Thanks, we're just browsing for now.”

Isla leads me further into the store, her eyes already scanning the racks. “Ooh, look at these jeans! They have so many different fits.”

She holds up a pair of dark wash skinny jeans with a high waist. “These would look amazing on you, Selene. And they go up to size 18!”

I hesitate, running my hand over the soft denim. “I don't know, Iz. Jeans and I haven't exactly been on speaking terms lately, which is why I wear the same ones I’ve always worn or leggings.”

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