Page 32 of Captured Love

For a moment, neither of us says anything. I cross my arms, more out of self-defense than defiance. Knox stuffs his hands in his pockets and winces. His hand comes up and reaches for his left shoulder as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Is he nervous? Never would I have thought to see the bad boy hockey player apologizing and nervous, let alone in the same week.

“Are you hurt?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“Hockey injury. I’m fine. But Selene,” he begins, and I brace myself. “I'm really sorry about everything. About how I handled things after... you know. I shouldn’t have been a dick.”

“I know,” I say finally. “You already apologized.”

“Yeah in the letter,” he says, leaning in just a bit. “I guess that means you read it?”

I stay quiet for a bit, letting the silence stretch just long enough to make Knox uncomfortable. “Yes, I read it.” I uncrossmy arms and lean on the desk, closer to him. “It was very... heartfelt.”

Knox's eyes search mine, looking for something—maybe forgiveness, maybe understanding. “I meant every word.”

“I know you did,” I say. “But words are easy, Knox. Actions are harder. And what you did hurt. I knew the score. You told me you weren’t interested in anything more than a casual hookup and you still treated me like shit.”

Knox looks down, and for a moment, I think he might actually walk away. Part of me hopes he does, because this is hard—harder than I thought it would be. But then he looks up, and there's a determination in his eyes that makes my heart do that stupid flutter thing it's been doing since the first time we met.

“You're right,” he says. “I was wrong and I’m sorry. I’m not going to lie; I got a little scared.”

That admission takes me by surprise. Knox Sanchez scared? Of what?

“Scared?” I echo, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I'm not good at this stuff. At feelings. At... relationships.”

“We weren't in a relationship,” I say, though hearing him even imply it sends a confusing rush through me.

“I know,” he says, quickly. “That's what I'm trying to say. We weren't in a relationship, but it started to feel like something more. Between the text messages we were sending and then the fun we had…that freaked me out. So I pushed you away because it was easier than dealing with... whatever this is.”

I process his words slowly. He's opening up in a way that I never expected him to, and it's throwing me off balance.

“So you pushed me away to protect yourself?” I ask. “That makes it all better then.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “It doesn't make it better. I'm just trying to explain why I acted the way I did. It doesn’t excuse it, but that’s what happened.”

I study his face, trying to figure out if he is being sincere or feeding me a line. This is the most honest I've ever seen him, and it's weird in a way. I want to believe him.

“Okay,” I say slowly. “You’ve explained. Now what?”

Knox shifts again, and I can see he's weighing his next words carefully. “Now... now I want to make it right. To make amends.”

“Make amends?” I almost laugh, but there's no humor in it. “How do you plan to do that?”

He hesitates, and for a moment, I think he might actually be at a loss. Then he takes a deep breath and says, “Let’s hang out. Like go grab lunch or something.”

Wait, what? My mind reels. This is not what I expected him to say. Is this his way of making amends, or is it something more? Is he just trying to get over his guilt, or does he actually...

I don't let myself finish that thought. It's too dangerous.

“And if I say no?” I ask, testing him.

“Then I'll respect that,” he says without missing a beat. “But I'll still hope you'll say yes.”

I look over at Blaise again. He's abandoned his book entirely and is now just watching us openly. When he sees me looking, he doesn't even try to hide his curiosity.

“I'll think about it,” I say, turning back to Knox.

A flicker of relief crosses his face, but he quickly masks it with a nod. “That's all I can ask. And now I’ll let you get back to work.”

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