Page 77 of Captured Love

I brush it off with a shake of my head. “Nothing. Just thinking about practice.”

Blaise's eyebrow arches, his expression making it clear he's not buying it. “Right. Practice. That's why you look like you're about to throw up. Makes total sense.”

I've never been good at this whole ‘talking about feelings’ thing. I try to shrug it off, but my shoulders feel tense as hell. “It's nothing, seriously. Just... a lot on my mind.”

Blaise snorts, clearly not convinced. He leans against the wall, arms crossed, mirroring my posture. “Knox, I've known you for years now. It’s obvious something's up. Spill.”

“It's Selene, man. I think... I think I want to ask her to be my girlfriend. Like, officially.”

Blaise sits up straighter. “First of all, is that what has you so screwed up right now? Second of all, you haven’t done that yet?”

I stop pacing and turn to face Blaise. I try to unclench my jaw, but I fail. “No, I haven't. And yes, it's messing with my head.” I let out a heavy sigh, sinking into the armchair across from him. “I don't know, man. This feels different from anything I've done before. I haven’t had a girlfriend since high school.”

Blaise nods slowly. “I get it. She means something to you. But why are you so nervous about making it official? From where I'm sitting, it seems like a no-brainer.”

I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “Because I don't want to screw this up. And I’m really good at screwing things up.”

“Okay, I have a question. Since when does Knox Sanchez second-guess himself?”

A smile tugs at my lips. “Since now, apparently. I'm glad my existential crisis is amusing to you.”

Blaise holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, I'm just saying, this isn't like you. The Knox I know is confident and decisive. He sees what he wants, and he goes for it.”

I run a hand over my face, feeling the rough stubble on my jaw. “Yeah, well, maybe that Knox is an idiot who doesn't know what's good for him.”

“Or maybe,” Blaise counters, “that Knox is exactly who Selene fell for in the first place. You can’t tell me that she doesn’t care about you too.”

I sit back in the chair and think about what he said. He has a point. Selene and I didn't get to this place by me second-guessing every move. I screwed up in the beginning, but I think I’ve made an excellent comeback. I’m grateful that Selene forgave me and gave me another chance.

“There he is. There's the Knox I know.” Blaise sets down the router, giving me his full and undivided attention. “Look, man. You can't let your past experiences dictate your future. Selene isn't Tessa. And you're not the same guy you were back then either.”

I hate to admit that he's right. I've grown a lot since high school, and my relationship with Selene is on a whole different level.

“I can't let my fear of messing up keep me from taking this step with her. She deserves better than that. We both do.”

Blaise leans over and claps me on the shoulder. “Damn right. So what's the plan? How are you going to ask her?”

I shrug. “I don't know yet. I want it to be right, you know? Not some half-assed, spur of the moment thing.”

“Makes sense. But how…”

That is the question of the day.

I stand up from the chair and start pacing again because why not? I see Blaise smirking at me out of the corner of my eye. He can laugh at me, but at this point, I don’t care.

“I need to plan this out. Maybe take her somewhere nice for dinner first? Or do something more casual, like a movie?”

Blaise responds quickly. “Those are both viable options.”

But are they really? Each idea seems more cliché or inadequate than the last. Selene deserves something thoughtful, something that shows her how much she means to me. Going to Prosecco & Prose again would be nice as a redo, but it’s something we’ve done before. Then I think about asking her after a shift at a library. But we’d both be exhausted.

My frustration builds as I realize I’m shooting down every possible scenario. Why is this so hard? It was never this complicated with Tessa. But then, with Tessa, we were in high school, and everything was easy until it wasn’t.

“You're overthinking it, bro,” Blaise interrupts my spiraling thoughts.

I shoot him a glare. “Oh really? Tell me something I don’t know.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Alright, how about this… keep it simple and sincere. Selene likes you for you, not for some grand gesture or fancy dinner. Just find a moment when it's just the two of you and speak from the heart.”

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