Page 117 of Guarded Love

“The night you kissed me for the first time. It was also the night you stayed up and made sure that I didn’t get sick after drinking too much. Even though I was upset because you rejected me, I still wanted to keep something from that night, so I chose this.”

He swallows hard, but doesn’t say a word. It’s as if he doesn’t know whether to kiss me or apologize. Maybe it’s both.

“I can’t believe you kept it all this time,” he whispers.

I nod. “Even when I hated you, I never stopped wanting this.”

“It still looks better on you than it ever will on me,” he says with a small, broken smile.

I lean in and kiss him and it’s as if we’re speaking a language only meant for us. He kisses me back like he’s sorry for all of it. Like he’d take every bad decision back if it meant this moment could’ve happened sooner.

When we finally break for air, he says, “I need to fuck you with my jersey on.”

And that’s all it takes for me to get this show on the road. "Okay," I say against his lips. "Now you can touch me."

His hands are on me before I finish speaking, one gripping my hip while the other tangles in my hair. The kiss he pulls me into is everything but soft and sweet and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

"You drive me fucking crazy," he growls against my mouth as his hands guide my movements, helping me find another rhythm all together.

"Good," I gasp, my head falling back as the sensation becomes overwhelming. "I want to drive you crazy. I want to be the thing you can't stop thinking about."

"You already are," he confesses. "You have been since Puerto Rico. Since before Puerto Rico, if I’m being honest."

The admission sends me spiraling toward the edge faster than I could have ever imagined. It’s then that I’m willing to admit to myself that this isn't just physical and it never was.

"Blaise," I whisper, and he knows exactly what I need.

His hand slides between us, finding the spot I want him most even through my leggings and he applies just the right pressure to send me flying over the edge.

I come with his name on my lips and while I’m still processing what happened, I say, “I want you inside me. Right now.”

"Yes, let me grab a condom and then?—"

“I already told you I’m on birth control. I want to feel what it’s like to have you, just you, inside me.”

"Willow." My name comes out like he’s not sure if he heard me correctly. "Are you sure?"

I'm still trembling from my orgasm, still riding that high, but I've never been more certain of anything in my life. This isn't some impulsive decision made in the heat of the moment. This is me choosing him, choosing us, choosing to stop hiding behind fear and logistics and all the reasons this shouldn't be happening.

"I'm sure." I shift in his lap, feeling how hard he still is beneath me. "I want all of you, Blaise. No barriers, no holding back."

His hands tighten on my hips, thumbs tracing circles through the fabric of my leggings. "You know what you're asking for?"

"I know exactly what I'm asking for." I lean down to brush my lips against his. "I'm asking you to stop treating me like I'm going to break. I'm asking you to give me everything you've been holding back. Because I know you have been."

The last thread of his control snaps. Something in my voice must convince him because suddenly his mouth is on mine, kissing me with everything in him. His hands move toward my leggings and I think he’s going to grab my waistband, but he goes straight for the seam in between my thighs.

The fabric doesn’t stand a chance and gives way with a very loud rip. I gasp at the sudden sensation of cold air hitting my skin and because I can’t believe he. Just. Did. That.

"Fuck," he breathes, his fingers immediately finding the wet heat between my legs. "You're so ready for me."

I am. I've been ready since the moment he got into this car, maybe since the moment we left Puerto Rico. His touch is exactly what I need especially when he slips two fingers inside me easily.

"No more waiting," I say, fumbling with his belt buckle. My hands are shaking, whether from the cold or anticipation, I can't tell. "I need you now."

He helps me, lifting his hips so I can push his jeans and boxers down enough to free him. The sight of his cock, hard and ready, makes my mouth water.

"Come here," he growls, positioning himself beneath me.

---