Page 37 of Guarded Love

The casual way she says it catches me off guard. Like she's both trying to share something important and pretend it doesn't matter all at once.

"Yeah? What is it?" I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.

“You don’t need to worry about it.” She slips her phone into her pocket, already gathering her notebook and her bag. I’m sure that is her way of nicely telling me to mind my business, which is valid. “Anyway, thanks for taking the time to meet up with me.”

“It wasn’t a problem. If you need anything else, you know how to reach me.”

“That I do,” she says as she puts her coat back on. She struggles for a hot second and the urge to help her is strong, but I hold back because I know it won’t be welcomed.

She finally gets the coat on and I'm left to wonder what it is she got accepted to. It's clearly something that matters to her, based on that small smile. A job for the summer? Early graduate school program? A study abroad program for fall next year?

"Well," she says, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "See you around."

She turns to leave and this time I let her because I can’t find a reason that would get her to stay.

10

WILLOW

The email is still open on my screen. I’ve already read it three times, but I’m staring at it like the words might magically change. Each line is burned into my brain.

Congratulations. We’re thrilled to welcome you to the Winter Abroad: Puerto Rico program. Attendance at orientation is mandatory. Please arrive on time.

I know what it says, front to back, side to side. But seeing it in writing makes it real, or more real than when I read it at the tail end of my interview with Blaise.

Blaise.

At least right now it makes sense why he’s on my mind since I should be focused on finishing my Senior Night hockey article. The document sits open in another tab, a few paragraphs shy of completion. But instead, I'm fixating on his face when I casually dropped that bombshell about being accepted to "something."

I switch tabs and start adding more words to the Senior Night hockey article because I’m annoyed at myself for caring what Blaise Dalton thinks about anything I do. Knox's quote about loyalty stares back at me. I need to weave in Blaise'sperspective, but every time I try to type his name, my fingers freeze.

"Focus, Willow," I mutter, reaching for my coffee mug only to find it empty.

I get up to refill it because the caffeine and the movement will clear my head. As my coffee maker starts doing its job, I pull out my phone and scroll to my messages with Ari.

Me: I got in. Puerto Rico is happening.

She responds immediately.

Ari: TOLD YOU SO!!!!!

Ari: When do you leave?

Me: January 5th. Right after the holidays. Orientation is tonight.

Ari: Cool and perfect timing to escape the winter blues.

Ari: Also, how'd the interview go?

I stare at her text. The coffee maker beeps behind me, signaling it's done, but I don't move right away.

Me: It was fine. Professional. Got what I needed.

The lie sits heavy between my thumbs and the screen. Nothing about that interview was fine. Nothing about sitting across from Blaise Dalton was professional, especially when he stared me down and admitted to having panic attacks.

My phone buzzes again.

Ari: That's Willow-speak for "something happened but I don't want to talk about it yet."