Page 52 of Guarded Love

You know that moment where you try to ignore something that has drawn you in to the point where everything else fades into the background? That’s me right now because it’s impossible for me not to notice her.

Willow is two rows away from me, and somehow she's the only person or thing I’m drawn to in this airport terminal. Everything else, including the announcements being made by the different airlines, a kid throwing a tantrum by the vending machines, even Professor Wallace calling out names to make sure that we’re all here, all blurs into white noise.

Her dark hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and she keeps tucking loose strands behind her ear. A nervous habit I've noticed before. She's wearing headphones, probably to stop anyone from approaching her, but I can tell she's not really concentrating on what’s playing through her speakers by the way her eyes keep darting around. She’s always alert, always observing her surroundings.

This is dangerous territory. I shouldn't be memorizing the way she fidgets with her phone case or how she crosses and uncrosses her ankles. I definitely shouldn't remember that shesmells like vanilla and coffee or wonder if that scent would intensify if I sat closer.

Knox would kill me if he knew how much mental real estate his sister occupies in my brain. The irony is, he’s the one who put her there in the first place. He’s the one who asked me over the holiday break to keep an eye on her while we were in Puerto Rico. Not like babysit her, per se, but just to make sure she’s okay. I said of course I would. And now that request seems anything but simple.

I force myself to look down at my phone and click on a random email just to have something else to focus on. I quickly realize it’s an old email from my political science professor confirming receipt of my final paper from last semester.I can try to review some old videos tapes that Coach asked me to look at, but it's pointless. I’ve already watched them multiple times. No matter how hard I try to concentrate on something else, my attention drifts back to her.

I shouldn't be studying the curve of her neck when she tilts her head or noticing how she chews her bottom lip when she's deep in thought. I definitely shouldn't be wondering what she's listening to, or if she's thinking about this trip, or if she's as aware of me as I am of her.

This isn't just inappropriate. It's a betrayal because Knox trusts me. He's my best friend, practically my brother. And here I am, unable to stop watching his sister like a stalker.

I've spent years building walls between us. Creating distance. Maintaining boundaries. All so I wouldn't have to confront whatever this pull is that keeps drawing me back to her. And now we're about to spend a week together in Puerto Rico, where those barriers are going to be tested every single day.

I run a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly. Get it together, Dalton. She's off-limits for a dozen different reasons if not more. The fact that she hates me should be reason enough.The fact that Knox would never forgive me is another. The fact that I pulled away from her that night and hurt her should be the final nail in the coffin.

But still, my gaze drifts back to her because I’m drawn to her like a moth to a flame. The fire that burns so bright within her is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I know there’s more going on beneath that tough exterior she shows to the world. If things were different, I’d beg her to let me explore it and everything else with her, but alas, it can’t be. It never will be.

This time when she looks up, our eyes meet.

She doesn’t look away.

Neither do I.

It’s only a few seconds, but it lands harder than I expect. There’s no expression on her face, at least nothing obvious, anyway, but something passes between us. And I can’t quite name what it is.

"Attention passengers for Flight 1372 to San Juan, we will begin boarding in approximately ten minutes."

The announcement cuts through all of my thoughts and brings me back to reality. I glance around and notice Professor Wallace gesturing for everyone to gather closer. I grab my things and make my way over to the group that’s forming.

"Alright, everyone," she calls out. "Let's do one final headcount before we board. When I call your name, please raise your hand."

As Professor Wallace begins calling names, I deliberately position myself with my back to Willow. Out of sight, out of mind. Except that's never worked with her, has it?

"Blaise Dalton?"

I raise my hand. "Here."

Professor Wallace nods and continues down her list. I keep my eyes fixed on her clipboard, refusing to let my gaze wander again.

"Willow Sanchez?"

I hear a, "Here," from behind me. I resist the urge to look over my shoulder and give myself a small, mental pat on the back for my efforts. Once the roll call is complete, Professor Wallace gives us our boarding instructions. We'll be boarding in groups, with her going first to make sure everything is set with the gate agents.

"Remember, you'll be sitting according to your assigned seats," she says. "If you have any issues, please see me before we board."

People begin to move back to their seats to gather their belongings. I take my time, making sure I won't accidentally bump into Willow in the process.

As I'm checking my carry-on, making sure I have everything I need for the flight, Professor Wallace approaches me.

"Blaise, do you have a moment?"

"Of course," I reply, straightening up.

"I wanted to check if you received the email about the room assignments?" she asks.

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