Page 61 of Guarded Love

"So much better. What time is the welcome dinner again?"

"Seven." Madison checks her phone. "We have about forty minutes."

I pull out a simple white sundress with delicate floral embroidery that my mom insisted I pack and hold it up. "Think this works?"

"Absolutely." Madison nods approvingly. "It'll look gorgeous on you."

I wrap up the rest of my routine, which includes getting dressed quickly, and while my hair is slightly damp, I assume it’ll dry fast. Once I’ve added a touch of mascara, tinted moisturizer and lip balm to my face, I’m ready to go. I think I’ve done just enough to look put together without trying too hard.

"Ready?" Madison asks as she slips her feet into a pair of flip flops.

"As I'll ever be," I reply. I double check that I have everything I need in my small cross-body bag I brought for occasions such as this.

The walk to the lobby is short but already feels more comfortable than when we arrived. When we get to the lobby, quite a few people from our group are already there. It’s a relief that we aren’t too early or too late.

That relief dissolves the second I glance over my right shoulder and catch Blaise looking at me. I didn’t see him whenwe walked into the lobby, but now it’s as if he’s standing under a neon red sign with an arrow pointed down at him.

He’s blatantly staring at me and it’s obvious that he doesn’t give a damn who knows it. He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t pretend he isn’t. He just keeps watching with a stern expression that makes me want to figure out what he’s thinking.

And then his gaze drops slowly. I now have no doubt where his brain has wandered off to because I swear his eyes are tracking every inch of my body like he’s committing it to memory. It’s not a look you give someone by accident and it’s definitely not the kind of look he should be giving me with the circumstances between us. I should be irritated. I should besomething.But all I can do is stare back as if he’s put me in a trance.

When he finally lifts his eyes to mine again, for a few beats, the world stops spinning on its axis.

But when Madison calls my name, I turn and look away. Yet I’m still wondering what that was all about and how it will factor into the time we spend together on this island for the next week.

18

BLAISE

Itiptoe out of my hotel room and slowly close the door shut in an effort to not disturb my sleeping roommate. After all, it's nice that one of us gets to sleep in and I would be a complete asshole for disturbing his rest just because I haven't been able to get much.

Add another unfamiliar bed to the list of places I can't sleep. Sleeping in new places has always been difficult for me, which has always made away games rough. It's something I thought I would eventually get used to, but that hasn't been the case. Tyler’s snoring, while not obnoxious, didn’t help matters. Neither did the thoughts of Willow in that white sundress that kept circling my brain on an endless loop.

I check my watch as I head down the open-air hallway: 5:47 A.M. The sun's barely up, but my body clock doesn't care about vacation schedules. My body is ready to move and I need to honor it. The hotel is eerily quiet this early. The lobby is empty except for a sleepy-looking desk clerk who barely glances up from his computer when I walk by.

Outside, the morning air hits differently than Virginia. It’s warmer and…saltier? It’s a weird way to view air, but that’s thebest way I can describe it. I do some quick stretches as I look around the hotel property. There's a path that seems to lead toward the beach. Perfect.

I start with a slow jog to give my body time to wake up properly. I give myself grace as I pick up speed, and soon I’m running at a comfortable pace down a path near the beach. The waves crash rhythmically to my left, providing a soundtrack that makes me forget I left my headphones in my hotel room.

My mind drifts to last night's welcome dinner. I'd deliberately chosen a seat at the far end of the table, but somehow ended up with a perfect view of Willow anyway. That memory sends my thoughts spiraling and makes me even more grateful for deciding to go for this run. I need clarity and to clear my head, stat. Less than twenty-four hours in Puerto Rico and I'm already feeling like I’m off balance. I still need to get through a whole week in her presence and this is already starting off pretty rough if my behavior last night was any indication.

She’d caught me staring again, but I couldn’t stop. I know it was wrong and completely agree with anyone if they say it wasn’t my finest moment, but she’d truly taken my breath away and free will took over. Knox would have knocked some sense into me if he'd been there.

I push myself harder now, increasing my pace until my lungs burn. The physical discomfort is a welcome distraction from the mental spiral my brain has on a loop. The beach stretches ahead, in all of its beauty and is nearly empty except for a few early-morning walkers. I realize that this is the first time in a while I feel somewhat at peace. I’m not worried about my grades or hockey at the moment. What a relief that is, especially after almost having an anxiety attack on the plane down here.

As I continue running, flashes of what happened yesterday play in my mind like a movie I can’t shut off. Having Willow sit next to me on the flight hadn’t been on my bingo card. Part ofme was thrilled, the other part wanted to switch seats because being next to her and not being able to actually enjoy spending time in her company felt unbearable. When our arms or hands would occasionally brush up against each other no matter how we tried to keep our distance, it took every inch of willpower to not react. I was forced to pretend to read the same page of my book for twenty minutes straight because I couldn't focus with her so close.

Then the shuttle ride from the airport, where I'd deliberately chosen the seat across from her because I wanted to be close to her again. What the hell was I thinking? Oh that's right. I wasn't thinking at all.

I slow down when I reach a long stretch of beach, breathing hard, heart pounding against my ribs like it’s trying to claw its way out of my chest. Sweat has made its way to the surface, and I do enjoy the burn, but it’s not enough to stop the thoughts running through my head. Not even close.

I stop near some palm trees and lean forward with my hands on my knees. I force myself to focus on the rhythm of my breathing as I try to calm my racing heart.

In. Hold. Out.

Again.

I know I'm lying to myself by saying she’s just another girl attending Crestwood University. Just my best friend's little sister. The second she sat down beside me on that flight, it was like my body forgot the rules I made with myself. Forgot the boundary I swore I’d never cross. Even now, I wish there was a way I could act on all the thoughts running through my head. Not all of them innocent and none I would dare say in front of Knox.

---