Page 2 of Engaging the Deputy

She shot him a look. Was he really going to bring up her leaving now? She sighed, knowing that she couldn’t explain why she’d had to leave when she had or why she hadn’t come back. He hadn’t understood six years ago. Why would he now? “The teen years are tough. Who knows what we want at that age?”

“I always knew what I wanted.”

Olivia groaned inwardly and pulled her coat a little tighter around her as if the temperature had suddenly dropped. “You were lucky.”

“Lucky? Right,” he said without looking at her as they walked. “My dream was to work in my father’s hardware store my entire life. Some of us couldn’t just leave.”

The wind picked up, stronger now. She could hear clanging metal on metal in the distance. Closer, a windmill’s sails moaned as they spun restlessly, several of the blades broken or missing altogether.

She swallowed, feeling Cody’s disappointment and hurt and wishing she could take it away as she took in the derelict-looking structure ahead. If he was being truthful, he hadn’t wanted to go to college. He probably hadn’t even wanted to leave. He’d always felt as if he were trapped here, but if he’d wanted something else badly enough, wouldn’t he have found a way?

Olivia had put herself through college. It wasn’t like her mother had been able to help. She tried to change the subject, not wanting to argue with him.

“Elden Rusk had a dream,” she said, thinking of her own. “He wanted a little different life,” she said without looking at Cody. “There’s nothing wrong with chasing a dream.”

“Yep,” he agreed. “Had great plans for the future, sold everyone on building this community, putting all their hopes and dreams into it, thinking this would be their home. Then he up and bails on them—”

“His sixteen-year-old daughter disappeared.”She was losing her patience with him.

“Or just took off. Either way, the Starling dream died when he abandoned his flock.” He held up his hands to encompass the dark houses of Starling and their lost hope. “‘Sorry,’ he says, ‘but I’m moving on.’”

“I’m sure it was very painful for him to leave like he did,” she observed, hoping this would be the end of their discussion since they weren’t talking about Elden Rusk. “He must have been brokenhearted, not just for his daughter, but his community and friends he had to leave behind.”

She stopped walking and felt a chill as the deep shadow of what she recognized as Elden Rusk’s house loomed in front of them. She remembered when this house had been in all the newspapers and on the television news. She wished they hadn’t walked this way. Just as she wished they hadn’t had to do a postmortem on their high school relationship after all this time.

Cody turned to her. “What happened with us, Olivia? I never thought you’d leave, let alone walk away from what I thought we were building together.”

His voice was so filled with anguish, she wished there was something she could say.

“I used to talk about my dreams with you,” she said.

He kicked at the dirt at his feet. The wind caught it and whirled it around them. “You just didn’t mention that I wasn’t part of them.”

“Is this why you invited me out here tonight?” she asked, her voice cracking. “Cody, we used to be friends. I thought… It’s why I came along tonight. I didn’t realize everyone was going to go their separate ways.”

“You didn’t realize it was a date,” he said and sighed. They stood only inches apart. He seemed to study her as if he’d never seen her before. “I thought I could do this, pretend you and I never happened, just be friends, no hard feelings.” He shook his head. “Sorry, but I can’t.”

Her eyes burned with tears. “You picked a great time to get that off your chest,” she said, determined not to cry. “It isn’t like we can just get in the car and leave now.” Glancing back, she could no longer see Jenny and Dean or the tailgate anymore. Had they moved to the futon bed? Probably. Not the best time to go down there and ask for a ride back to town. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” she said, turning to him. “I’m sorry.”

“I guess I always believed you’d come back to me,” Cody said. “Even as kids, and later as teenagers, you and I were so close. I thought we’d end up together, that I would prove to you I’m the right man for you. I’m not going to work in that hardware store the rest of my life.” He shook his head. “You never had any faith in me, but you know what the worst part is? After you left, I ran into Deputy Jaden Montgomery, the guy you fell for in college. We had a nice conversation.”

She groaned. “Are we really getting into this now out here?”

“Maybe we should since I hadn’t realized that the two of you had beenengagedand apparently you broke his heart too. Now I’m wondering how many others there have been.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped. “You and I—”

They both started at the sound of a bloodcurdling scream followed by a burst of laughter and shrieks. Down the hillside, between the dark outlines of two houses, she saw Rob chasing either Tammy or Whitney, she couldn’t tell which. But when she looked back, Cody was about to enter Elden’s house.

For just an instant, she thought about going back to the truck, as embarrassing as it could have been. But she didn’t want to go alone. She told herself that she could make it until midnight if Cody could. She hurried to catch up to him as the wind whirled dust around her. Ahead, she heard a door creak open.

CHAPTER TWO

Cody wished he’d kept his mouth shut. He was mentally kicking himself for bringing up the past. He’d asked her to come along tonight because he’d missed her. He’d planned to keep it casual. Old friends. Nothing more.

Unfortunately, being around Olivia had brought back all the good memories from their childhood. She’d been his first real love. Maybe it had been puppy love, but it had been real to him. He’d really thought they would end up together; he always had.

He’d thought she’d felt the same way, not that they had ever talked about the future in high school. He hadn’t realized he wasn’t in her future until she’d dropped the bombshell. Not only was she going far away to college, but also she was breaking up with him. He’d never understand how she could leave seventeen years of life and all those memories and not look back, but she had.

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