Page 101 of Written By a Woman

We became friends almost immediately though.

“Logan is excited to have a boy, too,” Eloise rubbed her bump thoughtfully.

“Was he nervous about having Iris?” I didn’t remember him having a nervous attitude at all during Eloise’s first pregnancy. I just remembered the gigantic man fawning over his pregnant wife the entire time, making my heart explode from the cuteness. Big men being doting husbands and loving dads always did things to me.

Zaid would probably be just like Logan, should he ever have kids like he wants.

“Not at all,” Eloise shook her head once, “He was thrilled at the news of having a girl. I think he would have been more nervous having a boy as our first. His dad is…well, who knows where he is. But he wasn’t a great father figure, to put it bluntly. So, he was worried he wouldn’t know how to be a good boy dad himself. Going to personal therapy again, and having Iris first, I think, gave him the parenting confidence he needed to be the kind of boy dad he knows he wants to be. Plus, one of our close friends is a good example of being a supportive father figure with their little girl and soon-to-be boy.”

“Oh, so your kids have built-in friends to play with too,” I clasped my fingers together, thrilled to watch Eloise live her best suburban life. Watching what it was like to be a parent, and to have a support system nearby.

“Yeah, my friend Courtney is currently pregnant with their first son, too. We’re due around the same time,” Eloise shook her head once, “But you’re distracting me by asking a lot of questions about my life. So let’s fix that.” Eloise gave me a look that she probably gave her daughter when she was acting up, “I think you should check your phone and see if Hot Marvel Nerd reached out to you at all.”

I snorted, “His name is Zaid.”

“Zaid, of course,” Eloise grinned, “What if he texted you saying he’s totally happy with you writing erotic fanfiction about him?”

I tried to smile, but it was wobbly again. The anxiety I had been desperately trying to shove down into nothing for months was catching up to me. I could feel it in every muscle in my body. It was exhausting just sitting here trying to wrap my head around the entire situation. The anxiety I felt about it all made me freeze, which is probably why I decided to just hide my phone for the time being. My life was already a disaster, how terrible could holding off on responding to messages be?

“…Maybe I’ll check my phone tomorrow,” I shrugged noncommittally, “But for now, I’d love to watch a movie with you.”

Eloise gave me a small smile as she reached behind us and grabbed my throw blanket, covering both of our legs in it as she snuggled closer to me, “As long as it isn’t anything sexy, I’m down.”

I gave her a look, “So like, nothing with sex scenes?”

“Or sexual tension,” she lifted a hand and started listing off requirements on her fingers, “Or longing looks, or hand flexes, or wet clothing, or hot people, or—”

“Eloise, that’s every movie ever.”

“Well,” she shrugged, “I’m reaching the crazy horny stage of the second trimester,” she gave me a wide-eyed look, “I can’t keep jumping Logan every day.”

I cackled, “I think he’s fine with it.”

“Well of course he’s fine with it,” she lifted a hand and gestured vaguely down her body, “I’m a hot piece of ass carrying his gigantic baby. However, I also have things to do. Places and people to see. I can’t spend all day in bed with him. Someone needs to feed Iris.”

My shoulders were shaking with laughter, before I offered, “If you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to spend some time with Iris. Maybe she and I can spend the day together and have a sleepover while you and Logan get a hotel room for a night.”

Eloise stared at me in silence for a moment, making me wonder if my offer was out of line in some way, before she eventually said, “I’m trying to convince myself to turn this down since my parents literally just had a sleepover with her at their house, but I don’t think I’m going to. I’m taking this opportunity. I’ll talk to Logan and let you know what dates work best for us.”

I patted her thigh over the throw blanket, “Perfect.”

After going through my favorite streaming services, Eloise vetoing every suggestion I had because it was all just too sexy, we decided to land on a nature documentary about dolphins and whales.

It was nice, sitting on my couch with my friend, having some sort of company after the shittiest day ever. Throughout the documentary, in between Eloise trying to mimic the whale and dolphin’s noises to the best of her ability, I kept staring over at my nightstand where my phone lay.

Perhaps Eloise was right, and Zaid would be the kind of guy who didn’t mind what I did. Or at the very least, would be willing to let me apologize for crossing a boundary? But I just kept picturing the visible anger on his face when Jacqueline showed him all the damning evidence, and I squashed that hope.

So, I decided to embrace my need to freeze things for the time being. I focused my energy on my friend living her best life, sitting on my couch, taking a ton of pee breaks, and giggling with me at our ridiculousness.

Tomorrow was a new day, and even though I had no real plans on how to address anything, I knew I couldn’t do any of it without a full night’s sleep. Eloise eventually left at the end of the documentary, hugging me tightly in her arms again. Once I closed the door behind her, I popped a gummy to ensure that I didn’t toss and turn all night from stress.

ChapterTwenty-Four

SIGNE

I finally feltready to come out of my cave of self-pity. Twenty-four hours seemed like a reasonable amount of time to wallow and grieve and mourn. To process whatever complex feelings I had that were no one’s fault but my own.

I had just brewed a cup of coffee and sat down at my laptop, ready to type out my resignation letter and email Michelle and Layla gently explaining what a fucking creep I am, and to ask if there was still time to completely alter my main male character’s appearance.

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