Page 102 of Written By a Woman

Instead, when I finally retrieved my phone from its place charging in my nightstand drawer, I noticed that it was flooded with social media notifications. As well as several missed calls and messages from Michelle. Probably to inform me of more rejections, which I just wasn’t in the headspace to read at the moment.

I took the opportunity given to me to delay confessing my sins to Michelle and Layla, and instead skimmed all the likes and comments I had gotten on my social media account in the past day or so.

What I was surprised to find all the likes and comments linking to, however, was a video that showed Zaid’s face.

I double-checked the account that the video was posted on, and I was immediately confused when I realized it wasmyaccount that had his face. His face, sitting in his nerdy-ass Marvel-themed bedroom.

I felt my stomach drop, wondering if I had been hacked by a fan who had stolen footage of Zaid.Great, I thought to myself,yet another reminder that my actions have consequences.

I tapped on the video because I hated myself.

Zaid cleared his throat, propping the phone up on his desk. He leaned back, his dark eyes darting between the image of himself and the camera at the top of his phone before he pulled his glasses off and rubbed the inside corners of his eyes with his fingers.

“For the love of god,” Zaid spoke behind his hand that lingered on the bridge of his nose, “Signe. Change your fucking password.”

I felt my heart stop as I tapped the screen to pause it, my coffee that I was sipping went down the wrong pipe and I choked for a couple of seconds before I set the mug down and restarted the video.

Holy shit.

Zaid was talking to me?

Onmyaccount?

I hesitated for another moment before tapping the screen again, resuming the video.

“Or, better yet,” Zaid shrugged, a smirk tugging at his lips as the man struggled with looking at the screen versus the camera, “Answer your phone so I don’t need to get your attention like this.” He eventually settled his gaze on the camera, and it felt like he was staring directly into my soul. Those dark, beautiful eyes that I thought I wouldn’t have the privilege of admiring again, made my heart skip a beat through the phone screen.

“Signe,” he shook his head once, tsking his tongue, “I know you’re upset. I know you’re probably a little embarrassed,” he sighed as he settled more comfortably in his seat, resting his forearms on the desk in front of him, “But I need you to talk to me. And this is me desperately coming up with a last resort.”

I was holding my breath, and it wasn’t until I started to feel a little dizzy that I forced myself to inhale and exhale like a normal person.

“I know you told Jacqueline you quit,” Zaid shook his head once, “I know you probably think I have no interest in you after learning about your book.” He let that sentence hang there a second, gnawing on his lip once as he looked contemplative about what he wanted to say next, before soldiering on, “But I am. I am still in this, Signe. I’m all in.” He chuckled at himself, looking a little sheepish as he smirked at the camera, “And I’ve known about your book for a while.”

I felt my heart drop.

Hewhat?

“I knew the day that I intentionally walked through your live stream—”intentionally? “—and I’ve been very aware of your publishing journey since then. I stayed updated on your posts. I deep-dived everything that you wrote publicly about this story, about the characters. About me…because I love you.”

I squeaked and threw my phone to the opposite end of the couch.

My blood was rushing in my ears, and butterflies erupted in my chest and stomach.

Hewhat?

I crawled like a crazed woman across the couch to retrieve my phone and continue watching, “You weren’t the only one keeping secrets, Signe.” Zaid glanced to the side for a moment, before focusing back on the camera, “I knew I was good at hiding my attraction to you. I bent over backward to avoid looking at you for too long,” I felt a flattered blush stain my cheeks, all those instances where he broke eye contact first playing in my mind, “Because I was your superior, and that would be wrong. So, I avoided you. Like I knew I should…but then you wrote a book about me—well—about a man that looks anawfullot like me.” He smiled as he pulled up his iPad to show the infamous character art of himself, zooming in on the veins the artist illustrated, making me want to crawl into a hole to escape the cringe of it all, “And as I sat there, listening to my sisters who have been followers of yours for a while now, filling me in on the fact that their brother was the inspiration behind a very popular story rising in online romance communities, I realized…I don’t know, I thought maybe I had a chance. That maybe my attraction wasn’t so one-sided after all.” He shrugged casually as he set the iPad down and returned his gaze to the camera, making my breath catch in my throat.

“I tried to take a page from Zayne’s, or I guess your, book,” his expression turned a little self-deprecating, “I tried to put myself out there with you a little more. Baby steps. I wasn’t trying to change who I was just to get your attention,” he huffed a laugh, “I just tried to show little pieces of myself to you here and there, wondering if you’d like what you saw. Because the reality was, Signe, that even though I had been avoiding interacting with you in the workplace due to my inappropriate crush, I couldn’t stop myself from constantly seeking you out.”

I squeaked again, noticing that at some point my hand had come up to cover my mouth in shock at what I was watching.

“Any time you entered a room, any time you laughed, any time you made someone else in the office laugh, I noticed you. I noticedeverythingabout you. How could I not? I had no choice in the matter. Falling for you, even when I tried so desperately to fall for youcorrectly, had always been out of my control. I had given up on trying to contain my feelings a while ago. I think,” he made a comical expression as he rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully and stared off to the side, “I had completely relinquished control of my heart the moment you grabbed my face and kissed me as if your life depended on it.”

I huffed a laugh to myself, both humiliated and enthralled at what I was watching.

“I’m going to assume that no man would stand a chance against that,” Zaid chuckled again, embarrassment coating his features before he gathered himself, “Look…I know we probably shouldn’t be together.” I felt my heart sink at his words, “I know that it will always be frowned upon for someone in my position to be with someone in yours.” I frowned, hating that he was right, “I have thought a lot about this the last day or so, in between desperately begging for you toanswer your phone.”

He held my stare through the camera, and I removed my hand from my mouth in surprise, “Jacqueline said that your job is still yours if you want it. That if you wanted to come back to work, you could. You could still have a steady paycheck and finish your book—keeping the male leadexactlyas he looks in that beautiful head of yours—and quit later on when you settle into this career.”

---