Page 58 of Written By a Woman

“I wouldn’t disappoint the toddler if I were you two,” Salma nodded, patting Ben on the ass once and loud enough to make him blush, “We’re planning on being out late, but make yourselves at home.” Without letting either of us respond, she grabbed Ben’s hand and rushed for the front door, “Have fun, and thanks again!” Ben managed to wave goodbye to us before he and my sister were gone, the sound of the front door closing behind them echoing in the space as Zeki finally released his grip on Signe and me and reached his arms up to be held.

“So,” Signe bent down to oblige him, “What do you want to do first?” she asked as she sauntered back towards the play area of the living room they were in before, “Watch TV? Play?”

“Play!” Zeki squealed, pointing to a rubber ball near his shelf of toys. Signe smiled at me over her shoulder as she let the little man down so he could retrieve his toy. I gave myself a silent pep talk, determined not to spiral about how unprepared I felt for co-babysitting with Signe.

I pulled my phone out to send a quick text to my sister while Signe and Zeki got started on rolling the ball back and forth to each other.

Me: You aren’t clever. Did you put your son up to this, too?

Salma: Believe it or not, that was all him.

Me: This is messed up. You’re really overstepping, Sal.

Salma: Unrelated, there are condoms in Ben’s nightstand drawer.

Then I immediately closed the text thread and pocketed my phone before I vomited in my mouth at the thought of Salma and Ben ever needing condoms.

“You want to get in on this?” Signe’s voice pulled me back into the room. Zeki started slapping the ground next to him, attempting to get me to join.

“Of course,” I grinned, tickling my nephew on his tummy once as I settled in on the ground with my legs crossed.

* * *

SIGNE

Sweatpants.

The man was wearingsweatpants.

They were black, not light grey, so it wasn’t like they were super scandalous. Logically, I knew that Zaid’s sweatpants probably weren’t scandalous at all, but my filthy smut-loving brain couldn’t handle the sight of him casually walking into his sister’s house, completely surprised at my presence there.

As I picked up all the toys around the living room, while Zaid laid his nephew down for bedtime, my mind kept replaying specific moments throughout the night that I knew would stick with me forever.

Moments like Zaid sitting cross-legged on the floor in his sweatpants.

Like Zaid bending over to grab his nephew, his sweatpants showing off those glorious glutes I admired way more than I should.

Or when Zaid carried Zeki in his hands and allowed the kiddo to kick off of the various walls and reachable ceiling, letting him pretend to be Spider-Man, showing off the muscles in his arms and shoulders through the long-sleeved Henley shirt that he wore.

It was as if this night was specifically designed to make me think the most inappropriate thoughts about Zaid possible. There was no posture or position that Zaid could be in that didn’t show off how beautiful the man was. He didn’t even have a double chin when he laid on his back as his nephew sat on his chest and pretended to beat him up.

And the fact that Zaid was probably the sweetest and most involved uncle I had ever seen? I was a goner. It was hopeless. My crush on Zaid was rapidly developing, even though that wasn’t supposed to happen.

Zaid’s face lit up whenever Zeki did the most mundane, unimpressive things, as if his three-year-old nephew was the light of his life, and it made my heart feel like it was going to fall out of my vagina.

How could it not?

Here I was, no better than the average man who sexualized a woman simply because she was attractive and existed.

Zaid wore sweatpants, and if he stepped a certain way, I could probably see a perfect outline of everything the man was packing. Because of this, I adamantly averted my gaze whenever the opportunity to see said hypothetical outline arose. I knew myself; I knew that if I saw anything, I would gape at it, and that he would undoubtedly notice my gaping, and then he would probably cover himself up and kindly ask that I leave.

And then we would both go to work on Monday and things would be weird for the rest of our days. Anytime we passed each other, we would probably pretend we hadn’t been ‘kind of’ friends the last couple of months. Instead, he’d probably tell himself,don’t make eye contact with the groin starer, and I wouldn’t blame him one bit.

“He’s down,” Zaid’s deep voice startled me out of my panicking thoughts, making me drop a few blocks and gasp as I spun around to face him. His dark brows rose over the black rim of his glasses a moment before he quickly dropped back to the floor with me to help pick up the toys, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I’m fine,” I giggled nervously as we both deposited the blocks back in their bin. I was blushing,blushing. He was close enough to remind me that his cologne was mouthwatering.

“Did you have too much caffeine?” Zaid asked, and I could hear the smirk on his lips even though I was standing and making my way over to the couch, desperate for space.

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