Page 62 of Of Blood & Bone: The Young Queen

“It sounds perfect to me,” he whispers as he places a gentle kiss upon my forehead. “Now tell me, how are you feeling this morning?”

I take a few moments to think about his question before answering. I know he is ostensibly asking how I feel on a physical level, but I’m feeling so much more, on so many other levels, I feel I need to try to encapsulate everything into my answer.

“My womanhood feels slightly tender,” I admit, “but the rest of me feels as if I’ve been awakened and escorted into the realm of womanhood. The pleasure your touch brings to my body is beyond what I ever imagined and I’m happy, happier than I’ve been for a long time.”

I feel his lips form into a broad smile against my hair as he nuzzles the top of my head. “Well that makes two of us,” he says in a throaty whisper, “but there’s something I need to discuss with you, Elinor and please don’t take it the wrong way.”

I look up into his eyes, already concerned as to what he is going to say.

He gives me a reproachful look. “You’re already taking it the wrong way and I haven’t said anything yet,” he declares. “Now just hear me out.”

I set a neutral expression on my face and say, “Go on,” even though I’m feeling a little unnerved at the prospect of what he is going to say next. However, I could never guess at the words that come out of his mouth.

“I’m honoured you chose me to be your first, Elinor, but I will understand if you wish to explore your newly discovered sexual side with others.”

I make an effort to interrupt him, to tell him the idea is preposterous, but he places two fingers against my lips and commands me to “shush.”

He removes his fingers from my mouth and I remain silent.

“You are young and have led a sheltered life in relation to matters of the flesh and heart. I, on the other hand, am older and have a wealth of experience… In Ellerban, when a maiden first starts to explore her sexuality we refer to it as her awakening. This is something you have not had a chance to experience or explore, and circumstances are such you must wed before having a chance to do so. I believe our feelings will deepen for each other over time and we will go on to have a long and happy marriage, but I have some unresolved issues I feel will take some time for me to deal with before I’m in a position to give you all of my heart.” He stops to kiss me softly on my forehead. “But know this, Elinor, you already have more of my heart and mean more to me than I could possibly have imagined only a few short weeks ago.”

I’m so stunned at his words and what I think he is implying that I’m momentarily speechless, and don’t know whether to feel happy at what I think he is suggesting or offended. I know I’m young and inexperienced in these matters, and we have only known each other for a short time, but I had imagined our feelings for each other would continue to deepen and perhaps we would even fall in love. In truth, I feel I’m already half in love with him.

He takes my silence as meaning I’m upset.

“Elinor, I told you not to take my words the wrong way. I have no intention of being with another woman. I feel luckyenough to have found you.” He stops what he’s saying and chuckles. “Or I should say for you to have found me. However, I simply want to give you enough space to explore things if you wish, so that you won’t have regrets in years to come.”

“I can’t imagine being with another,” I say in a quiet voice.

He pulls slightly away from me and looks into my eyes, a questioning look on his face. “Oh really?” he asks.

I’m shocked at his response. “Yes, really,” I reply but even as I say the words, I feel a niggle of something, possibly doubt, pulling at me.

“Remember when we spoke a few nights ago and we agreed we had honesty between us?”

I nod. “Yes,” I say, wondering where he’s going with this line of questioning.

“Then let us be brave enough to be totally honest, Elinor. I saw the way you looked at Barra yesterday and you can’t deny he stirs feelings of desire within you.”

I turn my head in an effort to escape the searing intensity of his penetrating gaze as I think how best to reply to his comment, but he’s having none of my evasion tactics. “Ah-ah,” he admonishes me, as he turns my face back to his, “there’s no hiding from me, Elinor, I always want there to be truth between us. I don't want to build a relationship on anything less.”

I huff out a sigh of exasperation. “Fine,” I reply. “Barra is a very handsome man and I admit to being somewhat attracted to him. However, that doesn't mean I feel the urge to act upon that attraction.”

A soft chuckle escapes his lips. “See? That wasn't so hard to admit, was it?”

I give him a withering look, trying my best to hide the confusion currently washing over me. I had imagined, at best, when I concocted my crazy plan to abduct the prince of Ellerbanthat we would forge a friendship and upon that build a marriage. I never imagined I would actually develop strong feelings for him, much less the possibility of falling in love. Now, here I am, half in love with him, and he's suggesting I explore my newly discovered sexual self with another man, and I have no idea what to do with that. All the books I’ve read have been about two people finding love, not three, (an image of Aaran flashes in the back of my mind) or four.How would that even work?

“Elinor.” Prince Ronan says my name softly and I realise I've been lost in my thoughts and have yet to respond to his question. “Don't fret over it, just think about it. I'm not suggesting you rush from my bed and run down to the stables to have your wicked way with Barra. However, I simply want to acknowledge how you might feel in the coming weeks and months and tell you that I understand if you wish to explore those feelings further.”

With that, he pulls me to him and buries his lips in my hair. “Now, come here and tell me if it’s customary in Ardvalla for a man to see his wife to be the night before the wedding or not and if I must spend tonight alone in my bed.”

I smile at the feeling of comfort being wrapped in his arms brings me and thank the gods and, this time, the Goddess, for giving me the courage to do something different and bring him here.

“I’m afraid as soon as I tell Kes we are to be wed tomorrow, she will arrange for me to spend most of my wedding eve with the Khaleeni. There’s no way I’m getting out of that, and to answer your question, it’s considered bad luck for an Ardvallan bride to see her husband to be the night before the wedding. So, it looks like you’ll be all alone in this big bed tonight.”

“Hmmm... then I should make the most of having you here right now,” he moans into my ear as he starts to leave a trail of hot kisses along my neck.

The effect is instantaneous and I pull him to me as I feel desire, hot and fluid, coursing through my veins. “I think you should,” I agree, as I lose myself to his touch once again.

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