Page 46 of Pucked Up

I had no idea what to say to either of them.

“I didn’t know,” Ben finally said. “Is…was it a secret, or…?”

“When he was in the NHL, no major players had come out yet,” I told them. I’d repeated this story about three thousand times already. What was once more? “After his injury, he didn’t want the attention.”

“So you never got to be with your husband in public?” Journey looked so horrified that I couldn’t help a laugh.

I felt terrible about it, but the idea he must have had about us—sneaking around like he was someVictorian lord, and I was his trustworthy valet? “We went out plenty. We let people assume whatever they wanted to assume.”

Both of them relaxed a fraction. Then Ben said, “I understand why Edwin wants you there. Is he going to dedicate something to you? Does he want you to give a speech?”

“God help me if it’s either of those things,” I muttered in French. They both looked confused. “I think he doesn’t want to deal with the backlash if I don’t show up. There are people in the organization who do know. Powerful people who gave him his job. They might ask questions if I wasn’t invited on an anniversary like this.”

“But you don’t want to go,” Journey said, tipping his glass at me before gulping down half his tea.

“No. If I could avoid it, I would. I didn’t even want to take this job, but it was better than rotting in my flat. That’s definitely not what Reid would have wanted for me.”

There was always a pointed silence when I talked about him. No one ever knew what to say. And it sounded callous of me to tell them that it was fine, he’d been dead for years. Which was true—I was fine, and he was dead. It wasn’t complicated. But most people didn’t understand the way grief worked when it came to losing a spouse, and I rarely felt like educating them on it.

“So…we’re cool,” Ben said. He took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes, almost like he was nervous.

“Did you think I’d be angry?”

“We didn’t want you to think we invited you to lunch to do the dark overlord’s bidding,” Journey cut in, winking. “I’m not even part of the organization. I lent my brother money to start this team, and apparently, this has become my life now.”

“I wasn’t going to assume anyone would ever do what Edwin wanted,” I told them with a shrug. “Not willingly.”

Ben burst into laughter. “It’s weird that you get it, but I’m so glad you do. That man is a fucking thorn in my shoe.” He grabbed his menu and held it very close to his face before sighing and setting it back down. “Their font sucks. Someone pick out a burger for me.”

Journey hurried to do as he asked, and I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe there wasn’t a little something going on there. It made me think of Boden. And my office.

I felt the small flicker of hope sparking to life in my gut that I would be seeing him soon.

Lunch was less awkward after, as the two Americans put it, all the cards were on the table. No one asked me any more questions about Reid, and I let Ben vent about Edwin for a little while.

“Is he forcing you to take Micah?” Ben finally asked after swallowing a mouthful of onion ring.

I blinked at him. “Well, he can’t force me to do anything. It was something I meant to speak with you about, but it wasn’t urgent.”

Ben grimaced, and Journey reached over, giving his back a pat.

“Is there…something I’m missing?” I couldn’t help but ask.

Journey’s gaze shot up to mine. “Let’s just say, don’t shit where you eat. Do you know that phrase in France?”

“We know the phrase.” It was a good rule, I think, anywhere you lived. It translated well to metaphorical and literal. And it was a rule I couldn’t help but break. I did my best not to let that show on my face though.

“We’re just saying this from experience,” Ben said.

Journey snorted. “Their breakup was ugly.”

“It wasn’t a breakup,” Ben snapped, then pulled away from Journey’s hand. Okay, maybe there wasn’t something happening. “I made a mistake with Micah. A couple of times,” he added with pink cheeks. “Micah is…well. You’ll understand when you meet him.” He paused and frowned. “Have you met him?”

“I’ve met his brother.”

“Christ,” Journey said. “That one’s the good one, though I swear their mom fucked a gremlin or something when she got pregnant with them.”

I frowned. I had no idea what he was saying.Jonah had been a bit mouthy but otherwise perfectly polite. “Alright?”

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