Page 62 of Pucked Up

I swallowed heavily. “He didn’t die. He became a quadriplegic. He was so angry about losing his ability to play hockey, and then he was angrier that the para hockey world didn’t get the respect or attention or financing it deserved. So he used his money and connections to change that.”

Micah was quiet for a beat, then sat back hard, his mouth dropping open. “Wait. Hold the fuck on. Is your husband Reid Martin?”

I nodded, forgetting he couldn’t see me.

“Hello? Did I break you?”

“Putain, sorry. No. I nodded. And yes. He is.” It felt odd to sayisbecause he’d been gone for so long now. But there was something kind about the way that Micah spoke about him in present tense.

He threw up his hands in surrender. “Okay, youwin. My shitty former relationships cannot hold up to that.”

“No. No, I…” I sighed and stood up, moving to the bench beside him. “I wasn’t trying to compete. I was trying to say that I understood how things can be just absolutely shit. I didn’t want to come to this either. I don’t like being paraded around by the people in charge like I’m Reid’s memorial trophy.”

Micah was quiet for a beat, and then he reached a hand out, and I realized he was feeling for mine. I took it, and he squeezed. “This doesn’t mean I want to fuck you.”

I choked on my tongue. “I didn’t think that was the case.”

“People hear that I’m slutty or whatever and assume every time I so much as graze their shoulder, I want to fuck them. And I’m tired of being the odd one out. Jonah is so close to our group of friends. They’re always in some big pile of cuddles, but I’m not allowed because they think if I get skin-to-skin contact, I’m going to want to whip my dick out and stick it in someone.”

“I’m sorry.”

He squeezed my hand tighter. “I don’t even know you, and I’m here holding you like some scared toddler. Christ, my life is a mess.”

“Yeah,” I told him. “It feels nice for me too. It’s been a while. I forgot what it was like to let someone close.”

After a short silence, Micah leaned against me, and I fit my arm around him. He nestled close. “Can Ijust have this for a minute? Can we pretend it’s not weird?”

“No, it’s not pretend. It isn’t weird at all. And if you don’t want me to tell anyone, I won’t.”

“Fuck what other people know.” He lifted his head, and I noticed several moles across his forehead placed almost like a constellation. I wondered what it was about him that scared people off. He should have been loved.

Just like I should be loved.

“If you need a hug,” he said in the quiet space between us, “you can always come find me, okay? Now that we know we don’t want to fuck each other.”

I laughed and squeezed just a bit tighter. “I’m okay with that.”

“So, like, did we just become best friends or what?”

Best friends. It was a novel concept. I’d never had one before. And I could do a lot worse than Micah. “If you want.”

“I like you, Hughstopher.” It was clear now he was doing that on purpose, and I kind of liked that about him. He was odd, like most goalies, and so damn sincere.

“I like you too.”

He turned his face up again and smiled. “I think I believe you.”

That was good enough for me.

CHAPTER

FIFTEEN

BODEN

Most of theathletes were taking the train, so Ford and I decided to skip the line and take a flight into Montreal. My dad didn’t bother coming to get me, but he did send a car, which I appreciated since I didn’t want to deal with the traffic getting to the hotel, and Ford was too intimidated to drive outside of our little town.

We were both exhausted, so the moment we hit the hotel beds, I closed my eyes and didn’t open them again for several hours. I woke to the muffled sounds of Ford on the phone, and I realized my hearing aids had fallen out while I was asleep.

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