Page 70 of Pucked Up

I stood up, then crossed the very short distance between us, then lifted my hand to touch his face. And then I realized I no longer had that right. When Istarted to pull away though, Boden seized me by the wrist and gripped me tight. Our gazes locked, and then he brought my hand to his cheek and rested the weight of his face against my palm.

“If you need me,” I told him, “you know where my room is.”

“I won’t.”

Andthatwas the sound of my heart breaking into a thousand pieces in my chest, but this was what Boden wanted, and I wasn’t going to make his life harder by fighting him on it. Leaning forward, I cupped his chin one last time and pressed my lips to his forehead.

“You are going to be amazing, my little fire.”

He said nothing. He didn’t even look up, so I wasn’t sure he heard me, and I wasn’t going to make the moment worse by repeating myself. Those words were just for me anyway. I pulled my hand back with a slow drag of fingertips over his cheek, then put more distance between us.

He still didn’t look up. It was a small comfort to know this was hard for him too, but I knew that wasn’t going to be much help as soon as I was alone. Turning on my heel, I made my way toward the door, and he didn’t stop me.

It closed once more with a heavy slam, and the walk to the elevator felt like I had two-ton weights in my shoes. The ride up to the sixth floor took so long that I started to crack. My eyes were hot, and my throat was tight.

When the doors dinged open, I stepped out andalmost immediately into someone’s chest. “Merde. Sorry, I?—”

“Shit.” It was Ford, balanced precariously on his crutches since he still wasn’t wearing his prosthetic. He gripped me by the shoulder and stared into my eyes. “Shit. Oh no. This isn’t your happy face.” Ah. He knew. “I’m…I have to…Micah is in your room if you need someone, but Bodie just texted me and…yeah. Uh. I need to go.”

“Of course,” I told him. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Ford looked like he wanted to cry, and then he lunged past me and dove into the elevator car before the doors shut. I heard him hit the ground with a heavy thud, and then he was gone too. The hallway was empty, and my chest was aching.

It wasn’t a long walk to the room, and the second I opened the door, Micah was there. His warm, strong arms came around me, and the hug was what ruined my threadbare control. I let out the softest sob against his shirt, hoping I’d muffled it enough that anyone passing in the hall couldn’t hear it.

“Ford told me,” Micah said, twisting his hands in my shirt tightly. “I didn’t know about you and Boden.”

I shook my head and sniffed. “There’s nothing to know.”

He laughed. “Yeah, see, that’s bullshit.”

“He was very clear.”

“Trust me.” Micah pulled back and touched the top of my shoulder the way he’d done back at thetrain car when we were talking. His way of eye contact, he’d told me then. “He’s never clear about anything because the man literally lives with his head wedged so far up his own asshole he could clear out his own intestines.”

“Euh…”

“He’s going to regret this, okay? Believe me. I know him, and he’s going to realize letting you go was a huge mistake.”

“Will he admit it?”

Micah laughed, then took my hand and dragged me to one of the beds. They were both a mess, with the blankets and sheets completely disordered. It looked like he and Ford had been jumping on them, and the part of me not in raging pain appreciated the mental image.

“Who the fuck knows, but I think for you, he might. For now, let’s watch some shitty reality show about disaster people and feel better about our lives.”

It was maybe the best idea I’d heard all night.

CHAPTER

SEVENTEEN

BODEN

I wasn’t a crier.I wasn’t an emotional man at all—apart from anger and anxiety, which probably made up seventy percent of my personality. I didn’t like emoting. There were better things to spend my energy on, which was probably the issue.

There had to be some vault deep inside me that was overflowing, and this last thing with Hugo burst the seal. I was leaking all over. My nose, my eyes, gunk from my throat down into my lungs. I had never regretted anything so much in my life.

All I wanted was to call that asshole back here so he could hold me and tell me it was going to be fine. Because nothing fucking felt fine.

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