Page 77 of Pucked Up

“Boston,” I said, putting him out of his rambling misery.

Ford blinked, then threw himself into my arms, and I had to fully catch his weight, which was not easy. The man was definitely ninety percent hockey muscle. “I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“I don’t think you are.”

He eased back. “No, but I could be. If you keep Bodie here—well, not here. Not Montreal. That would also suck, but the drive wouldn’t be too bad, I guess? I could take the train if?—”

“He didn’t get an offer for Montreal,” I told him. The doors pinged open, and I stepped out, Ford close at my heels. He really was going to follow me to myroom. He was like a lost puppy, and I had no heart to turn him out.

“Who else sent an offer?”

“Orlando—”

“Boooooo!”

“And Portland.”

“Fuck those guys!” Ford pulled a face and dramatically leaned against the wall as I pulled out my keycard to open the door. “Did you tell them no?”

“I’m not telling them anything. It’s Boden’s choice.”

Ford’s eyes went wide as he stepped into the room after me. “He wouldn’t say yes to them, would he? Seriously, do you think he’d just leave us like that?”

“I think Boden would prioritize you and Tucker over what’s best for himself.”

At that, Ford looked shattered. “Oh shit. He would, wouldn’t he?” He dropped down to Micah’s bed. “Okay, I can’t let him do that. Why don’t I…oh, I know! I’ll put together a slide show of the fish market and the Space Needle thing, and…what else is in Portland?”

“None of those things are, for one,” I said dryly as I pulled my suit off the hanger. I should shower, but I didn’t want to bother. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone anyway. “Secondly, I think Boston is the better choice. He’d get lost in Portland. Boston just traded someone that freed up a spot for a player like Boden. He’ll be noticed then. He’ll be important.”

Ford was very quiet, and when I started buttoning my shirt, I turned to face him and saw him watching me with a strange look on his face.

“Do you think I’m wrong?”

He tilted his head to the side. “No. I think you’re in love with him.”

The words were like a fist slamming repeatedly into my gut. Not from the lie but from the truth of it. Something I’d been trying to avoid. I’d fallen for him that first night, and every second we spent together, it got worse.

And worse.

Until I was too far gone and my heart was his.

I hadn’t realized it was possible again after Reid, and falling for a man who would never want me the same way I wanted him was gutting enough. Love was too much pain to be worth it, even if I couldn’t stop it.

“I’m sorry,” Ford said.

Of course he was. He knew better than anyone that Boden would never want me back, and Ford was a kind person. “I’ll survive it. I’ve survived worse.”

“Reid,” he said.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. “Like Reid. He would have loved you all, by the way. I don’t—I don’t talk about him enough. But he would have. He would have felt more at home on this team than he did with Montreal.”

“That’s bullshit,” Ford said.

I smiled, knowing it wasn’t. “He loved the game. When he had to leave the NHL, he was gutted, but itwas because those guys had become our family. I think he knew deep down he’d play again, but it wouldn’t feel the same. If he’d come here, he would have had that again.”

“I’m glad he didn’t,” Ford said, and I flinched. “No, not—fuck. Not because he wasn’t amazing. I mean, I don’t know, but he loved you, so he was probably pretty freaking great. But, like, I’m soft, okay? I can’t take losing people or watching creatures suffer. I’m struggling with the idea of my best friend playing two hours away from me. If Tuck and Bodie hadn’t literally made me sign my soul to them, promising that I wouldn’t adopt every stray kitten I saw, I’d be overrun right now. So…yeah. Death? No, thank you.”

I didn’t want to tell him that at some point, he would have to face that. It was inevitable. We all had to do it at least once in our lives. But it wasn’t always as bad as losing a spouse.

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