Page 96 of Tagging Bases

“Complicated how?” I press because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s getting to the bottom of things.

Roy crosses his arms and stares at the wall behind me. “Just drop it.”

“No. Not until you tell me what your problem is.”

“My problem”—he speaks slowly like he’s talking to a small child—“is that you won’t shut up and leave me alone.”

“Wow, mature,” I shoot back. “You know what? I don’t think it’s complicated at all. I think you’re pissed off because?—”

“You don’t know a damn thing!” he interrupts, his voice rising as he finally gives me his undivided attention.

“Bullshit!” I’m yelling now, too, but I don’t care. “You’re pissed because Charlie and I are together!”

The words hang in the air between us, and for a moment, I’m unsure whether he’s going to punch me or storm out. He glares at me with so much intensity that I cower.

“You think this is news to me?” he spits. “My problem is that I’m slowly being replaced.”

I blink at him. “Replaced?”

Roy’s jaw works, and for a second, I think he’s going to clam up again. But then he leans forward, elbows on his knees, and the words pour out.

“Three years ago, Charlie came to me all excited, bouncing on his heels like when he was a kid and Mom made his favorite cookies. ‘Roy, I got into Ashford! Full ride!’ And I’m standing there in the hardware store, my heart splitting in two. But I smiled and told him how proud I was of him. Because I was.” He pauses and takes a shaky breath. “Then he says, ‘Which means I’ll be moving to New York.’ Just like that. Like it’s nothing. Like leaving me behind is the easiest thing in the world.”

“Roy—”

“No, let me finish.” His voice cracks slightly. “That night, I went home and cried for the first time in my life. Because I knew that once he got to the city, once he met other people and made new friends, he wouldn’t need his big brother anymore. And I was right, wasn’t I? He found you. He found Harrison. Hell, he found a whole team of guys who worship the ground he walks on.”

The pain in his voice brings tears to my eyes. All this time, I thought Roy hated me. Turns out he was just terrified of losing the one person who still looked up to him.

“You’re wrong,” I say quietly.

Roy snorts. “Am I?”

“You’re his hero,” I tell him. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard ‘Roy would know what to do’ or ‘Roy taught me that’? It drives me crazy sometimes, honestly. The way he talks about you, you’d think you hung the moon.”

Roy stares at me with his mouth hanging open.

“I’m serious,” I continue. “Yeah, he’s got new people in his life. But that doesn’t mean he loves you any less. It just means his world got bigger. And there’s room for all of us because Charlie’s heart is bigger than the world.”

“You don’t get it,” Roy mutters, but some of the fight has gone out of him. “I’m not…I’m not good at this stuff. At sharing. Charlie’s always been mine to protect, you know? And now…”

“Now you’ve got help,” I finish. “Whether you wantit or not.”

We sit in silence for a moment. The party noise from downstairs fills the gap, reminding me that life is still happening around us.

“Is that why you took up drinking?” I ask. “To drown out this whole thing?”

Roy turns his head away from me and nods. “Pretty pathetic, huh? It was the only thing that dulled the ache in my chest.”

“And being shitfaced helps with that?”

“At least when I’m drunk, I don’t have to think. Or worry,” Roy mutters.

“Was it the drinking that caused you to fall down the stairs?”

“Yeah. That’s when I realized things were getting out of control.”

“Do your parents know the truth?”

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