Page 29 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

‘Who’s the patient you need to talk about?’ She was almost having to run to keep up with him, but he didn’t respond until they’d reached the door of the office.

‘It’s empty and it might be best to chat in here.’

‘Is there a problem?’ If a patient had made a complaint about a member of staff, Lucas might want to keep it confidential, but he was acting very strangely.

‘I think we both know there’s a problem.’ As soon as Lucas stepped inside the office, he manoeuvred her towards a corner of the room that couldn’t be seen from the corridor. ‘I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this, Dan. Wanting to touch you and not being able to. Do you know how much I want you? I picture it every single time I close my eyes. It’s killing me.’

‘You can’t say that; you love Esther.’ He was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her neck, and she knew only too well the agony he was describing. But she couldn’t picture it in the way he did, because the only thing she saw when she closed her eyes was her best friend’s face.

‘Do I? How can I be sure I love her, if I feel like this about you?’ He was pressing his body against hers, and it was so hard not to respond. Despite the doubts she’d had about him recently, it was like muscle memory. She’d spent so long imagining moments like this, then fighting her desperate desire to respond when they happened, it was almost as if her body was acting completely independently of her brain. Something was different deep inside her, though, a feeling of her heart gradually starting to harden against him, as his voice took on a self-pitying tone. ‘You’re the only one who really knows me. We’re kindred spirits, Dan, you know we are. It feels like you’re my other half and deep down I think we both know it’s always been you and me, all along.’

‘Why are you saying this now? You’ve had more than seven years and you asked Esther to marry you. Maybe if you’d said something early on, before she fell in love with you, we’d have had a chance. But I would never risk losing my friendship with Esther, not for anything.’ Anger was bubbling up inside her and the hardening of her heart seemed to be increasing with every passing moment. These games had gone on for long enough, but then Lucas played his trump card.

‘Esther has no idea what it’s like to walk in our shoes, to lose her family and have to find that elsewhere. We found that in each other, you and me. You can’t tell me we didn’t. I’ve told you things I’ve never said to anyone else, and I know you’ve done the same with me. We know each other from the inside out, and I still love every part of you. You haven’t had that sort of unconditional love since you lost your dad, and I can’t believe you want to walk away from it. I love you, Danni, more than anyone else ever will.’

Tears filled her eyes and all the feelings she’d ever had for Lucas threatened to flood back as she looked at him. She felt like that little girl again, being packed off to boarding school because no one wanted her. But Lucas was standing in front of her, telling her that he did, and that he understood what it was like to be where she was. How the hell was she supposed to turn her back on that? All she could do was look at him, but the words just wouldn’t seem to come.

‘Didn’t you hear what your patient just said? It was like he was talking about us.’ Lucas took hold of her wrists, pinning her arms above her head. She couldn’t fight against it, because she was already using every ounce of strength she had to keep her back pressed against the wall, when all her body wanted to do was arch itself towards his. ‘I was standing outside the cubicle, waiting to talk to you and listening to him saying how he’d spent all those years married to the wrong woman and longing to be with someone else. That wasn’t fair to any of them, and I don’t want to do this to Esther, when it’s you I really want. If you’re worried about this not living up to the fantasy like he said, I can promise you it will. We’re meant to be together, and anything else is just a bump in the road we’ll find a way of getting over.’

‘We can’t.’ Tears were choking Danni’s throat as she dragged her hands out of his grip and pushed him away. She might be throwing away the chance to be with the person who could turn out to be the love of her life, but she was doing it for her soulmate. ‘Esther isn’t a bump in the road. She’s the best person I know, and she’s the best person you’ll ever meet too. If you can’t love her the way she deserves, then you owe it to her to end it. But don’t do it for me, because I’ve finally realised we can’t ever be together. Even if Esther was the one who chose to end it, the two of us ending up together would still hurt her, and that’s something I could never live with.’

Yanking open the door of the consultant’s office, before Lucas could answer, Danni broke into a run and didn’t once look back.

16

‘How’s Richard?’ Charlie met her at the door of the holiday cottage. He was wearing a cream cable-knit jumper and Danni found herself wishing she could ask him for a hug. She already knew he gave good hugs and, after what had happened with Lucas, she really felt as if she could have done with one. She hadn’t kissed Lucas; she hadn’t even responded when he’d tried to make a move on her. Instead, she’d pushed him away and told him to love Esther the way she deserved or set her free to find someone who could. But it still felt as if Danni had cheated on someone, and that someone was Esther. She’d run all the way out of the hospital, not stopping until she reached the taxi rank outside and asked the first cabbie in the queue to take her to Trengothern Manor.

‘He’s fine. They’ve ruled out anything really serious, but they’re running some more tests.’

‘That’s great news. I’m so glad you were there when it happened; you were amazing.’

‘I didn’t do anything really and it’s all in a day’s work.’ She’d done her best to sound breezy and upbeat, but Charlie could see right through her.

‘Hey, what’s wrong? And don’t say nothing, because it’s obvious something is.’ He ushered her through the door. ‘Let me get you a drink. If you don’t want to talk about it, at least tea and chocolate biscuits ought to help.’

‘It’s just been a rough day, that’s all.’ Danni sat down on one of the squishy-looking armchairs positioned on either side of the woodburning stove. The autumn days were mostly still mild, but the temperature had started to drop sharply by the evening and there was something unmatchable about the comfort that could be derived from the glow of a real fire. Brenda and Maggie both clearly appreciated it and had obviously taken to one another too. Maggie was lying on her side, her back to the fire, with Brenda’s head resting a few inches down from hers. They looked like long-term companions, rather than brand new friends, which made the scene in the cottage even cosier. In fact, the whole place, Charlie included, looked like a photograph from a book about hygge and Danni already knew she wasn’t going to want to leave.

‘I bet you get a lot of rough days in your job?’ Charlie fixed her with his bright blue eyes and she nodded.

‘More than our fair share.’ Guilt seemed to be dogging Danni, because now she felt bad – not only for lying to Charlie, but for blaming her mood on work. ‘It’s not just that. I’ve got this friend and I’ve found out her partner isn’t sure if they should be together. I don’t know if I should say something?’

‘I wouldn’t, mainly because of the fact he’s not sure.’ Charlie frowned. ‘If they stay together, you’ll be the one blamed for whatever rocky patch they might be going through, and there’s a chance you could get pushed out of their lives altogether.’

‘It sounds like you’re speaking from experience.’

‘I am in a way.’ The cottage was open-plan, and Charlie moved towards the kitchen and flicked the kettle on as he spoke. ‘My ex’s sister got between us. Telling Natalie that the reason she was disappointed every time a big occasion came around, and I didn’t propose, was because I was never going to commit to her. Natalie and Imogen had a huge row, and they stopped speaking. These things have a way of spiralling out of control and I had a horrible feeling their relationship might break down for good if I didn’t do something. So I admitted that Imogen was right; I wasn’t ready to commit to Natalie like that and I didn’t think I ever would be, because something that should have been there was missing. When she asked me what it was, so we could fix it, I couldn’t tell her, because I didn’t know. I just knew it wasn’t there and that it never would be.’

‘Wow, that must have been hard.’ Every time Charlie spoke, there was something new Danni liked about him. He could have kept stringing Natalie along indefinitely, but he’d chosen to be honest. Lucas could definitely learn a thing or two from Charlie.

‘It was, but not as hard as it would have been knowing that I’d ruined Natalie’s relationship with her sister. They’d always been close and I knew she’d need to lean on Imogen when we split up. So, although I don’t think you should be the one to tell your friend, you could try talking to her partner and suggest he has that conversation with her.’

‘I did that today. I told him he needs to commit to her properly or let her go, because she deserves better than someone who isn’t sure.’

‘I think everyone does.’ Charlie might have broken Natalie’s heart, but he’d given her the chance to find something more than he could offer her. Hopefully, having gone through that, he’d understand why Connie and Richard had done the things they had. Thinking you were doing the right thing might be well intentioned, but it could cause so many problems. ‘Right, now we’ve sorted that out, can we get on to the really important questions? Tea or coffee?’

‘Tea for me, please.’ Danni allowed herself to relax back into the chair as she watched Charlie making the drinks. This was exactly what she’d pictured when she’d allowed Aidan and Esther to set up her dating profile: finding someone she could talk to about her day and happily do nothing much at all with. She didn’t want to replicate the angst of her relationship with Lucas. She just wanted to love and be loved in return.

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