Page 34 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

‘I couldn’t risk him choosing us over the farm. My mother had told me and Janice time and again never to rely on a man. She said my father resented having to marry her when she got pregnant with me and that he’d never wanted to be a father. It made me feel as if I’d ruined both their lives and I never wanted you to feel that way, not even for a second. But I know what I did was unforgiveable and I’ve wished more times than I can count that I hadn’t made the decision to let you go, even though as I was sure it was best for everyone else. Especially you.’

‘It must have been so hard for you going through all of that on your own and what your mother said to you…’ Charlie shook his head. ‘That’s what’s unforgiveable, making a child feel that way. My parents always said that my birth mother had given them the greatest gift when she allowed them to be my parents. I felt special and wanted, every single day, and that’s how every child deserves to feel. I can understand why Richard was angry, but I think if I explain all of that to him, maybe he’ll see things differently.’

‘I love you for wanting to try.’ The words came so easily to Connie. She wanted to tell Charlie that she loved him, full stop. She had from the moment she’d held him in her arms. Now, the overwhelming surge of love she’d felt had reappeared, undiminished. But she didn’t want to put any pressure on him. He’d said more than once that he wasn’t looking to fill any kind of gap in his life, but if he was willing to make space for her, she’d take it on whatever terms she could get. But he had to understand that she and Richard didn’t come as a package deal. ‘He wouldn’t even let me try to explain.’

‘It might be different hearing it from my point of view.’ Charlie squeezed her hand. ‘We’ve got to at least try.’

‘I told him the baby’s name was Charlie. Do you think he’ll realise it’s you?’

‘I didn’t tell him why I was in Port Kara, and it isn’t the most unusual name in the world, but I suppose it’s possible.’ Charlie furrowed his brow. ‘So the sooner I have the chance to speak to him, the better.’

‘I can’t believe you’re being so understanding about this. I don’t deserve it.’ A fresh crop of tears filled Connie’s eyes, but the complete desolation she’d felt before Charlie arrived had shifted into something resembling hope.

‘You did what you thought was best for me and that’s what a good mother does.’ He squeezed her hand again, before leaning forward and kissing her cheek. ‘I can’t promise it’s all going to be okay, but I’ll do everything I can to make Richard understand, and I’ll come back and see you as soon as I’ve spoken to him. Even if he wants nothing to do with either of us, I’m really glad I found you.’

‘Me too, more than you’ll ever know.’ Connie closed her eyes as Charlie finally let go of her hand. He was leaving and she didn’t want to watch him walk away. He’d promised he was coming back, but there was always the chance that Richard would change Charlie’s mind, rather than the other way around. And if that happened, she didn’t want her last memory of Charlie to be the one of him walking out of her life, just like his father had.

19

Danni stared at the text message she’d written to Esther for at least five minutes before sending it.

Hope everything is okay. Are we still on for the dress fitting this afternoon? xx

She’d deleted and rewritten it three times already, second guessing whether ‘Hope everything is okay’somehow made it obvious that Danni was expecting things to be anything but. If Lucas had spoken to Esther about any of the concerns he’d shared with Danni, then surely the dress fitting would be off. Even if that didn’t mean the wedding was cancelled too, Esther would at least want to pause things until she was certain Lucas could commit to her 100 per cent. Her best friend couldn’t settle for anything less than that, not if Danni had anything to do with it. Within a minute, a reply had pinged back.

Of course it is and don’t you go pulling out on me now! I’m having enough doubts as it is, and I’ll probably go into a complete meltdown if you aren’t there xx

A wave of nausea swirled in Danni’s stomach, but as sick as she felt about the prospect of Esther discovering that Lucas was having second thoughts, she was relieved her best friend didn’t know the truth. He couldn’t have mentioned anything about his feelings for Danni. Not even Esther was nice enough to go to a wedding dress fitting with the person who was at least partly responsible for derailing her wedding plans, even if Danni had done it for the right reasons. Witnessing what had happened with Connie had proven that having the best of intentions didn’t protect you. Charlie had called her after he’d been to see Connie and had told her how Richard had reacted to the news that he’d been a father for almost four decades. When Charlie had asked Danni whether she’d known Richard was his father, she had to admit that she did.

‘It wasn’t my place to tell you. But I knew that Connie would, as soon as she’d told him.’

‘I’m glad you didn’t.’ Charlie’s tone had been gentle and she’d marvelled again at his complete lack of bitterness. He seemed to have a way of seeing a situation from all sides. ‘I needed to hear it from Connie, and to see her face when she explained her reasons, otherwise I might have reacted differently. I think if Richard speaks to her again, and Connie has the chance to really explain, he’ll see in her eyes that the only person she wasn’t thinking of in all of this was herself.’

‘He’s a fool if his anger makes him shut you out.’ With anyone else, Danni might not have been so frank, but Charlie made it so easy to be honest. He had an open, expressive face, and it would have been easy to work out what he was thinking, even if he didn’t just come out and say it. Trying to read between the lines of Esther’s text was nowhere near as straightforward.

You’re having doubts about the wedding? Shall I call you? Xx

Danni could see the pulsating dots indicating that Esther was responding, and she held her breath, not knowing what to hope for. It would be so much easier to have a meaningful conversation over the phone than by text, but she had no idea what the hell she was going to say. The wait for a reply to come through seemed to take forever.

Ha, ha, funny! Can you imagine Mum if I said I was having second thoughts, I think she might actually kill me after how much she and Dad have shelled out for this wedding ?? I’m just still not sure about the dress, but you’ve already cheered me up. I read online that every bride doubts whether she’s chosen the right dress, but you’re the only person I can trust to be completely honest with me and tell me if I’ve made a mistake. See you at eleven, and be warned, Mum and Nan want to try and find outfits too. It could be a very loooonnnng day! xx

The nausea was back by the time Danni had finished reading the message. Lucas clearly hadn’t told Esther he’d been questioning the decision to get married. But worse than that was Esther’s total trust in Danni to be honest with her. She wanted to be worthy of Esther’s faith in her, she really did, but she stood to lose so much. Charlie had warned her not to get involved. Of course, he didn’t know the details, or that she was the one behind the groom-to-be’s doubts. But she didn’t want what she had with Charlie to be tainted by the mess she’d managed to make of things with Lucas. He’d be gone by the end of the summer and she needed at least one good memory to take with her if she ended up having to leave Cornwall too.

It was almost ten already. She just had time to take Brenda for a quick walk on the beach, to try to shake off the impending sense of doom that seemed to be building in intensity. Maybe Lucas had tried to say something, but talking things through with Esther had made him realise his doubts were just last-minute nerves. And maybe she and Brenda would spot a flying pig when they were down on the sand.

* * *

‘Right, I need you to be completely honest with me when I come out.’ Esther’s voice drifted from the other side of the bridal shop, where the assistant was helping her into her dress behind a curtained-off area. ‘No telling me I look amazing, if I really look like an explosion in a marshmallow factory.’

‘We’ll be completely honest, I promise.’ Danni exchanged a look with Esther’s mother, Caroline, and smiled. It wasn’t going to be a difficult promise to fulfil, because they’d both been there when Esther had chosen the dress and she’d looked breath-taking.

‘Okay, this is it – hit me with it.’ Esther emerged from the dressing room and her grandmother immediately started to dab at her eyes with a tissue. How Esther could ever have thought she looked like a marshmallow was beyond Danni. The dress was ankle-length, ivory chiffon, with a solid panel beneath the main part of the dress, and sheer sleeves. A V-neck that wrapped across her body was the perfect shape for someone like Esther, who would have had the figure of a ballerina if it hadn’t been for her bust. The dress was classy, with just a hint of sexiness, and there was only one way to describe how Esther looked in it.

‘You’re so beautiful, especially as you don’t even realise it.’

‘Are you sure I don’t look like a little girl dressing up in my mother’s best nightdress?’ Esther went up on tiptoes and looked at herself in the mirror. ‘Why couldn’t I just be a couple of inches taller?’

‘Because you’re lovely the way you are.’ Esther’s grandmother, Lilian, held a hand out towards her. ‘And you know all the best things come in small packages. Just like me.’

---