Page 42 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

‘What about Thalia? Are you in love with her too, or is she just an amusement?’

‘What are you talking about?’ Lucas sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, looking at her as if she’d suddenly grown two heads.

‘I’m not stupid. I know the reason you were both at Penwick Point was because you were meeting up. I saw the way you kept touching hands and how she was looking at you.’

‘I was just out for a walk and I can’t help the way she looks at me. Lots of them do.’ Lucas smiled then and Danni felt bile rise in her throat. He was so arrogant and it was almost impossible to remember what she’d ever seen in him. Maybe the power of the new job had changed him. He was now a big fish in a very small pond, after all, but suddenly she wanted to cry. Where was the person she’d sat next to when they studied late into the night, taking turns to nudge one another awake when their eyes had started to droop? Or the person who’d held her, after they’d witnessed two children getting picked up from the hospital by social services, after their mother had died from a cardiac arrest? Maybe the Lucas she thought she’d known had been an illusion, someone she’d created because that was what she’d wanted him to be. She had no idea, but she missed him, and that was who her tears were for.

Forcing herself to blink back the tears, she glared at him. ‘What you could help doing is making a profile on Soulmate Selections.’ She saw the flash in his eyes that told her he’d been rumbled, before he carefully arranged his face into a look of mock outrage.

‘People use pictures like mine for their profiles all the time, and half of them on there are claiming to be surgeons or pilots.’ His response was so instant, it sounded rehearsed and made him look all the more guilty. Anyone innocent would demand to see the evidence, or at least react in shock. It was like Lucas had an answer for everything.

‘I don’t believe you.’ She held his gaze, and it was as if they’d entered into a staring contest. Eventually he blinked and somehow it seemed to break his resolve.

‘Okay, so I might have posted on there to test the waters.’ He held up his hands as she started to protest. ‘It was only because, when I told you how I felt and you rejected me, I still wasn’t sure if I loved Esther enough to marry her. I thought if I could be in love with you, at the same time as I’m in love her, then maybe I wasn’t ready. So I posted a profile, just to see what happened, and how that would make me react.’

‘I’m sure Esther would feel great about that.’

‘Probably no worse than she’d feel knowing that her best friend has wanted our relationship to break down from the moment it began. It was obvious to me from the start, but for some reason she’s never been able to see it.’ For a moment, there was a twisted expression on his face and the veiled threat was obvious. If Danni told Esther about his dating profile, Lucas would make sure she knew the rest. But then Lucas’s face relaxed again. ‘The good thing is it worked. I can show you the matches I got, if you like, and you’ll be able to see I didn’t respond to any of them. The only person who has ever turned my head since I’ve been with Esther is you. But putting the profile up made me realise what I’ve got and how much I love her. She’s the only one I want to be with.’

‘So why did you turn up here, saying you wanted to talk about us?’

‘We’ve always had a connection, Dan, there’s no point either of us lying about that.’ He looked at her again, the faint hint of a smile playing around his mouth this time. ‘And I think that’s why I fell in love with you, or maybe I just thought I did because we had all these similar experiences. You knew what it was like for me to lose my parents. I realised that, when I finally told you how I felt, it was the same week as the anniversary of my mum dying. Twenty years I’ve been without her and, I don’t know, maybe I’m scared of loving someone that much again. Marrying Esther and making her my everything, knowing she could be taken away from me at any point, means I’m having to face up to that happening again one day. But all of this has made me realise that the risk is worth it. I’m not going to say I don’t love you, Dan, because I do. But I promise you it’s not the way I feel about Esther.’

At that moment, Danni wanted to believe what Lucas was saying more than anything else in the world. If all of that was true, things could go back almost to the way they were and the Lucas she’d loved as a friend would never have disappeared. Things would be even better this time, because she wouldn’t bein lovewith him any more either. But after all the things he’d said and done, and the way she’d seen him act, it was almost impossible to trust that he meant it. ‘What about Thalia?’

‘Okay, you’re right, she’s got feelings for me and maybe I didn’t discourage them the way I should have done. But I promise you, on my life, there’s absolutely nothing going on between me and Thalia.’ He reached for Danni’s hand again. ‘Don’t ruin what me and Esther have got, over someone like Thalia. Because I’ve got a horrible feeling your friendship with Esther won’t survive if you do.’

22

‘Sorry it’s taken me so long to let you know how I got on, but I thought it was easier to ring than text.’ Charlie’s voice was warm, and Danni instantly found herself wishing they were face to face, instead of talking on the phone.

‘Don’t worry about that; I was just concerned about whether everything was okay.’

‘I guess that depends on how you define okay.’ Charlie let go of a long breath. ‘It went pretty much as expected, although to be fair Richard was quite chatty at first and even seemed keen for us to build up a bit of a relationship while I’m here.’

‘But?’

‘But then I made the mistake of showing some empathy for Connie and telling him that, while I didn’t agree with her keeping my birth a secret from him, I could understand why she did it.’

‘And I’m guessing that didn’t go down well?’ She could picture Richard’s face as Charlie said that. But that was the thing about Charlie: he seemed to have this ability to see the good in everyone.

‘He said I’d never understand, because I’d had a good life despite what Connie did. But he was the one who’d ended up being admitted to hospital and having to tell the staff that there was no one to put down as his next of kin.’

‘Oh God, that’s sad.’ Danni could imagine how that might feel only too well and might one day find herself in that situation. But right now, the person whose feelings she cared most about were Charlie’s. ‘Are you okay? I know you said you didn’t mind as long as you got the chance to speak to him once, but this must be really hard.’

‘I’m worried about him, and I don’t just want to walk away, when he clearly needs more people in his life than he’s got right now.’ Charlie sighed again. ‘Even if there’s a chance he might change his mind and want to see me, he’s adamant he never wants to speak to Connie again and I’ve got no idea how to tell her.’

‘I could come with you.’ She was probably overstepping boundaries. She wasn’t Charlie’s girlfriend and having her hanging around while he had a conversation as difficult as that might be the last thing he wanted. But she had to ask, because if he needed her support she’d be there for him every step of the way.

‘Actually, I’d really like that. I’m going in tomorrow morning and I thought it was best to just come out with it, like ripping a plaster off.’

‘You’re probably right and I can meet you there at about ten, before my shift starts?’

‘Perfect.’ Charlie made it sound as if it was something to look forward to and, despite the awfulness of the situation, Danni really was looking forward to it because he’d be there. ‘How did you get on with Lucas?’

‘I don’t know. He came out with all these far-fetched excuses, but I suppose there’s a possibility they’re true, if you’re willing to ignore the likelihood that he’s lying to save his skin.’ It was Danni’s turn to sigh. ‘He promised me everything he’s been doing lately was a reaction to panicking about the prospect of one day losing Esther. He lost both his parents quite young and he said the anniversary of his mum’s death was what triggered it all, but he’s certain now that Esther is the only person he loves enough to want to marry. I made him promise me he’d tell Esther if anything else happened, or if even the tiniest doubt flared up again between now and the wedding.’

‘And do you think he will?’

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