Page 48 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

‘That’s great news, Connie. I’m so pleased for you.’ Charlie half-stood and kissed her on the cheek. He was saying and doing all the right things, but he still seemed subdued.

‘I know you’re planning to stay around to see if Richard changes his mind and, if that’s still something you want to do, I’m going to arrange to stay somewhere locally too. At least until I’m fully recovered. I understand you’ll have to go back to your own life before long, but if this is the one chance we’ve got to spend some time together, I’m not going to miss it.’

‘Me neither.’ Charlie smiled, but there was still something he wasn’t saying. ‘I’ve got some news too.’

‘Do you need to leave sooner than you planned?’ It suddenly felt as if Connie’s heart had jumped up into her throat. Charlie couldn’t go; she wasn’t ready for him to disappear from her life again. She might never be ready, but she was certain she couldn’t face it yet.

‘No, I’m still planning to stay on for a while. At least until Mum and Dad make a decision about where they’re moving to.’ Charlie took a deep breath. ‘When you told me about Darcy and the baby, and the news about your treatment, I considered not telling you this. But I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us.’

‘Neither do I.’ She was shaking as she reached out for his hand. Whatever it was he needed to say, she had to listen. The secrets she’d kept had caused so much pain, but somehow fate had given her a second chance with Charlie. So even if it hurt to hear what was coming, she could take it, as long as she didn’t lose her son for a second time.

‘Richard was admitted to hospital again, because he hadn’t been taking his medication.’

‘Is he okay?’ Her heart still felt like it was lodged in her throat, even when Charlie nodded.

‘He is now, but I think it was a wake-up call. He asked the paramedics to let me know he was being taken in and, when I got here, he said he wanted us to try and build a relationship.’

‘But that’s great news!’ Of all the things she’d expected Charlie to say, she couldn’t even have dared hope for this, but he was shaking his head.

‘It would be, except Richard is still adamant that he doesn’t want to see you. I tried to talk him around and explain why you did what you did, but he’s just not ready to listen.’ Charlie squeezed her hand. ‘But look at how quickly he changed his mind about seeing me. We just need to give it more time.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ As leaden as her heart felt now that it had sunk back down into her chest, she meant what she was saying. ‘I lost Richard years ago and I lost you too. I never thought I’d get either of you back, and I can’t be greedy and ask for more than I’ve been given. Having you back in my life is what I’ve wanted from the moment I watched the social worker walk away with you in her arms. But at least I’d got to hold you and know you, even for a little while. I took all of that from Richard and I’m so glad he’s decided to take it back. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I wish he felt differently, but I’ve missed him for almost forty years and I can cope with missing him for the rest of my life if I have to. But I can’t cope with saying a permanent goodbye to you again.’

‘You won’t have to, I promise.’ Charlie’s eyes were glassy as he looked at her, and silent tears were already flowing down Connie’s cheeks. When she was just a little girl, she’d had to learn in a really hard way that she couldn’t have everything she wanted. More than sixty years later she was having to learn that was still the case. And, like the childhood version of herself, she was just going to have to cry it all out until she could accept it.

* * *

Danni stared at the menu, but even the thought of eating made her stomach churn. She’d ordered a large G&T as soon as she’d got to the pub. It was just as well she’d promised herself that she was going to tell Esther everything today – whatever happened – otherwise this drinking for Dutch courage might become a habit.

‘Oh good, you’re here. I’m starving.’ Esther rushed in with her usual whirlwind, planting a kiss on Danni’s cheek as she did. ‘I think it must be because I ate so much last night at the final tasting session. I’m always much hungrier the day after a big blow-out. I’m sure it stretches my stomach! I’ll get us another drink first, though; what are you having?’

‘No, I’ll get it. You sit down and have a look at the lunch menu. What do you want to drink?’

‘A glass of white sounds good, and I’m not on shift again for two more days.’ Esther already had her face half-buried in the menu, and Danni’s brain was working overtime about whether she should let her friend enjoy her lunch before she broke the news, in case it was the last meal they ever shared together. But the idea of facing their version of the last supper made Danni want to forget all the promises she’d pledged to herself and keep her mouth shut.

Setting her glass down on the table, Danni silently prayed that Esther wouldn’t see just how much she was shaking. ‘Here you go – I made it a large one.’

‘And that is why we’ll always be best friends!’ If Esther could have chosen something to say that would make Danni doubt her intentions, she couldn’t have chosen more perfectly. But it was because Esther was such an incredible friend that Danni had to tell her the truth.

‘I value our friendship more than anything else in my life. You’ve been my family since we first met and you were the first person who was ever really there for me. Moving in with you made the flat feel like the first place I wanted to call home in years, and your family made sure I never had to spend a Christmas or birthday without being surrounded by people who I knew loved me.’

‘God, Dan, what’s wrong? It’s like you’re writing me a goodbye note, or a eulogy.’ All the colour had drained from Esther’s face. ‘You’re not ill, are you? I kept saying to Lucas that you didn’t look or seem like yourself lately. Please tell me you aren’t sick, because I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

‘I’m not sick, unless you count with worry.’ This was it, the moment Danni was going to cross a line that couldn’t be uncrossed. Everything she needed to tell Esther felt as if it was bubbling up inside her and about to overflow.

‘Well then, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.’

‘I know, but I’d do anything not to have to tell you this.’ Even after Danni had taken the deepest breath possible, it still felt as if she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs. ‘Lucas isn’t being honest with you.’

‘About the stag weekend?’ Esther’s shoulders visibly relaxed. ‘It’s okay, he’s admitted to me that one of the guys switched the plans from Barcelona to Amsterdam. It might not be my first choice of venue, but it’s not like I don’t trust Lucas.’

‘It’s not about the stag weekend. And you shouldn’t trust Lucas because he’s been seeing someone else behind your back.’ For a moment, everything seemed to freeze, and Esther looked at her for an impossibly long time, without even blinking. Then she finally spoke.

‘Danni, please don’t do this. Please don’t make everything Lucas has been saying about you true.’ Her words took the air out of Danni’s lungs again, but she wasn’t going to let Lucas’s lies stop her from telling the truth.

‘I don’t care what he said, but I can already guess. That I’m lying and delusional, that I’m only saying any of this because I want him for myself.’ Danni was fighting to keep her tone even, not wanting everyone in the pub to start staring in their direction. ‘Do you know how I guessed that’s what he said? Because it’s what he said to me, when I confronted him about his dating profile and when I saw him pressed up against the same nurse that I know he was meeting down at Penwick Point. You can ask Charlie, if you don’t believe me.’

‘Oh God, that poor man. He’s got no idea you’re using him in this little game you’ve been playing for years, has he?’ Esther’s voice was steady, but there was a cold steeliness that Danni had never witnessed before. ‘He’s clearly as besotted with you as you are with Lucas.’

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