Page 51 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

‘Why on earth would you have to do that?’ Connie couldn’t stand the idea of the hospital losing one of its best doctors over a man who sounded from Gwen’s description like a complete waste of space. If it was the same Mr Newman who’d been one of her surgeons, she could see why Gwen had no time for him. He had an ego the size of a house and seemed to revel in the sound of his own voice. But she’d seen him turn on the charm with some of the other staff too, and chameleons like him were often more dangerous than the blatant narcissists.

‘Because Lucas is out for revenge, and he’ll make sure it’s impossible for me to stay on. When I discovered he had an online dating profile and that he was also seeing one of the nurses here, I told him that if he didn’t tell Esther, I would.’

‘And of course he didn’t tell her.’ Gwen didn’t wait for an answer. ‘It might not feel like it now, but you did the right thing.’

‘Did I? Charlie questioned why I waited so long. He thinks it’s because I’ve still got feelings for Lucas. It isn’t, but I’m starting to wonder if my motives were as pure as I thought they were. I spent forever hoping Esther would be the one to find someone else. I wanted something like this to happen, as long as it didn’t hurt her. She thinks I’m to blame, too, and maybe I am. I never gave them the space they probably needed. There was always three people in their relationship, so is it any wonder Lucas decided to make it four?’

‘Or five, or six, or seven. I see and hear a lot more than people realise, working in that shop.’ Gwen was having none of it. ‘Did you ever try anything on with him?’

‘No, I’d never do that to Esther.’

‘But he tried something with you?’ Gwen was like a lawyer cross-examining a witness on the stand and Danni was too exhausted to even try to rebuff her questions.

‘More than once.’

‘And when you realised you didn’t love him any more, why didn’t you tell Esther straight away?’ Gwen’s questioning was relentless.

‘Because I couldn’t stand the idea of what it might do to her to find that out, and because I couldn’t bear the thought of not having her in my life, if she chose to believe him.’

‘Bingo!’ Gwen threw her arms up in the air. ‘Everything you did was because of how much you love Esther. Even when you thought you were in love with Lucas, you put her feelings first. Everything he did was because he keeps his brain in his pants.’

‘I want to believe that, but I can’t help thinking it would have been better if I hadn’t said anything at all.’ Danni looked at Connie. ‘At least then I wouldn’t have lost my friendship with Charlie; it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in years.’

‘He’ll get over it. If he can forgive me, he can forgive you for this. But I do understand what you mean about wondering if you should have kept quiet.’ Connie’s scalp prickled. She’d made so many wrong decisions along the way, she didn’t trust her judgement any more. ‘When Richard reacted the way he did, I couldn’t blame him. I deserved it, but Charlie didn’t. I’ve been wondering ever since if it would have been better for both of them if I’d pretended to Charlie that I didn’t know who his dad was, and that he was the result of a one-night stand.’

‘I think once he met you he’d have realised that was unlikely.’ Gwen cocked her head on one side as she spoke.

‘Are you saying I couldn’t have a one-night stand?’ Connie wasn’t sure why, but she felt mildly offended.

‘Not that you couldn’t, just that you wouldn’t. There’s nothing wrong with them and I should know’ – Gwen dropped a perfect wink – ‘but you’re the sort who over-analyses everything, not the sort who makes a snap, spur-of-the-moment decision. Which is how you’ve ended up here, having this conversation.’

‘You can’t really argue with that, can you?’ For the first time, there was a hint of a smile on Danni’s face.

‘Not really.’

‘Good, because no one ever wins an argument with me.’ Gwen wagged her finger. ‘I was the font of all knowledge when I was a midwife, and it’s the same now I’m here. So I’m telling you both that you made the right decisions by telling the truth.’

‘Except I should have done it sooner.’ Connie couldn’t believe she’d managed to live with the secret for so long, but somehow she had. Only now it was out, and like the contents of Pandora’s box, it could never go back in again.

‘But you heard what Gwen said to me, didn’t you?’ Danni fixed her with a look, waiting until she nodded. ‘You didn’t tell Richard because you knew if you did he’d lose the farm. And you didn’t want to raise Charlie on your own, because you know how tough that can be. You’re the one who had to go through pregnancy, childbirth and making the toughest decision of your life alone. You were just trying to do the right thing.’

‘I think I’ve got an apprentice.’ Gwen clapped a hand on her back. ‘And I couldn’t have put it better myself. You were both just protecting the ones you love, which makes you good people in my book. And good people deserve good things.’

‘I don’t feel like a good person.’ Danni had taken the words right out of Connie’s mouth, and an unspoken understanding passed between the two women. They might be able to justify why they’d done the things they had, but that didn’t mean they could forgive themselves. All they could do was pray that the people around them would turn out to be far more forgiving.

27

The weather was starting to turn much cooler and the days were now so short that Danni often wouldn’t see daylight, either before or after the start of a day shift. The relentless grey that seemed to have settled over Port Kara in the past few days suited her mood, but it didn’t make the coastline any less stunning. As Danni walked Brenda on her day off work, the rocks that seemed to rise up from the sea, and gave Dagger’s Head its name, had ribbons of fog floating between them, making them look terrifying and breathtakingly beautiful all at the same time. It would have made the perfect location for a tense thriller, or murder mystery, where the victim could disappear forever behind a shroud of fog. The only thing Danni wanted to disappear was the aching void of emptiness that seemed capable of suffocating her from the inside out. It had been almost a week since she’d spoken to Esther, and she hadn’t had a response to any of her messages either. It was the longest they’d ever been out of touch, but it was the prospect that this silence might go on for the rest of her life that was killing Danni.

When her brother, Joe, returned her call, it hadn’t taken him long to cut to the chase. ‘Hey, kiddo, what’s up? I got your message and you sounded so downbeat. Mum’s not up to her usual tricks again, is she?’

‘Not this time.’ Danni had felt better just for hearing his voice, and the way he always referred to her as ‘kiddo’, despite the fact they were now both well into their thirties. It had come to signify the fact he saw himself as her protector, in the face of their father’s death and their mother checking out. He’d been the one to drive her to look at universities and the one proudly taking photographs at her graduation. He’d even sent money back from Australia to help support her while she studied and she hadn’t realised until much later that he’d had to borrow the money to do it. He came over at least once a year, insisting that she did the same and even sending her the money for the flights until she was earning enough to afford it. Joe must have spent most of his annual leave ensuring he had time with his sister, and she had to stop herself every time from begging him to move back to the UK. That didn’t stop her wishing with all her heart that he’d one day decide for himself that home couldn’t possibly be more than nine thousand miles away from where she was. She’d thought about following him once her training was finally complete, but the thought of leaving Esther and her family had always stopped her. But now there was nothing preventing her from moving to the other side of the world.

‘If it’s not Mum, what is it?’ The worry in Joe’s voice had been obvious, and she should never have called and left that message.

‘I’m fine; it was just a bad day a work, that’s all. How are things with you?’

‘Well, put it this way, I can still tell when you’re lying. Come on, Dan, what’s up? I know something is, and you know I’m just going to assume the worst if you don’t tell me. I’ll book a flight over if I have to.’ That was something Joe was more than capable of doing and she didn’t want that on her conscience too. Things with his girlfriend of two years seemed to be going really well. He was about to complete the sale on his dream house in New South Wales, which had an ocean view and enough room to start a family, but Joe had admitted that securing the property would take every penny of his savings. So the last thing he could afford was an extra trip back to the UK because his kid sister was missing her best friend.

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