Page 53 of Welcome to the Cornish Country Hospital

‘Hello, sweetheart. You look like you’ve been out in the wind!’ Connie smiled as Charlie came into the rehab unit and she fought the urge to reach up and smooth down his hair when he sat by the side of her bed. That was a job for his real mother, although probably not for the last twenty-five years.

‘It was wild down on the beach today, but I love it when it’s like that, even if I end up looking like I haven’t brushed my hair for a month.’ Charlie laughed. ‘Maggie loved it too and she was chasing around, trying to catch the wind in her mouth.’

‘I can’t wait to get out and go down to the beach.’ Connie sighed. ‘That’s one thing I’m determined to do before I go back to Yorkshire: walk barefoot on the sand on Port Kara beach one last time.’

‘Nothing you do when you get out of here has to be for one last time, unless you want it to be.’

‘I don’t think the red carpet will be rolled out for me around here.’ Connie shook her head, determined not to feel sorry for herself. She’d done what she’d intended to do when she’d made the decision to come back to Port Kara. There were a few loose ends to tie up, and the small matter of being well enough to move back into her cottage, but other than that there’d be no reason to stay. Charlie didn’t live in Cornwall and Richard hated her guts. So, whatever her son said, when she stood on the sand, on the same beach where she’d spent so many hours with the only man she’d ever loved, it would be for the last time.

‘Richard’s just angry, I’m sure he’ll—’

‘You don’t know him like I do.’ Connie put a hand on her son’s arm. ‘But it’s okay. As long as I’ve got you and Darcy, and baby Auggie, that’s all that matters.’

She had to believe that was true, but Charlie was giving her a sceptical look. ‘Just don’t give up on him completely. Not yet.’

‘I made my choice all those years ago and I can’t expect a second chance, but I do want him to see this.’ Connie gestured towards the box. ‘And I think looking through everything in there will help you understand things too.’

‘What is it?’

‘It’s the letters from Richard, all twenty of them. And there are also the replies I wrote him; there are twenty of those too.’

‘You never sent any of them?’ Charlie widened his eyes as Connie shook her head.

‘I couldn’t, because then he’d have known how desperately I wanted him to choose me. But I knew that would kill him in the end. Or at least I convinced myself it would. Now, I’m not nearly so sure it was the right thing to do.’ Connie dabbed her eyes with a tissue. ‘There are some old Polaroids in there too, from the camera I had that summer. Ticket stubs from a movie we saw, and even serviettes from the café that used to be on the edge of the beach, where we’d meet as often as we could. I played it so cool then, trying to keep my feelings in check, and I don’t think Richard ever knew how sentimental I was deep down.’

‘Things could have been so different if the two of you had just been able to be honest with each other.’ There was a sadness in Charlie’s eyes, but Connie didn’t want him to feel that way because of the decisions she’d made.

‘And that would hurt a lot more if you hadn’t had the loving, happy childhood you did, with two fabulous parents who adore you, and who are clearly every bit as wonderful as their amazing son.’ Connie swallowed hard against the emotion threatening to overwhelm her. ‘Your mum sent me another care package that arrived this morning. And, somehow, without ever having met me, she keeps managing to fill each parcel with the things I love.’

‘She’s always had the knack of buying the best presents.’ The affection in Charlie’s voice was obvious. ‘And she wants to put the fact she’s never met you right, as soon as possible. She’s always said you gave her the greatest gift imaginable and sending the care packages is just her way of starting to say thank you.’

‘It’s me who’s got her to thank, and your dad of course. Because of them, it’s so much easier to live with any regrets I might have had and I hope, when Richard sees what’s in this box, he might feel the same. There’s some paperwork from your adoption and the letter the social worker gave me about the family you were going to, as well as one from your mum. There were no identifying details, but getting those letters helped me so much. I don’t expect Richard to forgive me when he reads them, but I hope they help him start to forgive himself.’ When Gwen had first suggested that Richard might have reacted the way he did out of guilt, Connie hadn’t been convinced. But if there was even the chance that was true, she owed it to him to help alleviate some of that guilt in any way she could.

‘I’ll give it to him, but I would like to read everything first. If you’re sure that’s okay? I don’t want to invade your privacy.’

‘You won’t. I’d really love you to see them and know how much Richard and I loved each other, and how much your mum loved you before she even met you. It was what clinched it for me, because she loved you the same way I did: unconditionally.’ Connie sniffed, determined not to start crying again, so she made a joke instead. ‘And I promise there’s nothing in the letters that will make you cringe too much.’

‘Well, that’s a relief.’ Charlie leant towards her, kissing her on the cheek. ‘Thank you.’

‘What for?’

‘For everything you did, and for sharing this with me. I’m just starting to realise how lucky I am to have two mothers who’ve always loved me so unreservedly. Lots of people don’t even get one.’

‘No, they don’t.’ For a moment she was tempted to say more. To ask him if Danni had shared the same story with him as she’d shared with Connie, about her own mother, but that would have been overstepping the mark in an even worse way than smoothing his hair down would have been. If Charlie and Danni were meant to be together, they needed to find a way of making it happen. And Connie knew she was the last person who should be handing out advice, when she’d failed so spectacularly at doing that for herself. Instead, she reached out to her son and allowed the gratitude she had for this moment to wash over her.

28

‘I thought Esther was due in today?’ Danni took the cup of coffee Aidan was holding out towards her. Part of her had been dreading sharing her first shift with Esther since the argument, but the rest of her hadn’t been able to help hoping there’d be some kind of catalyst that would make her best friend realise life was too short for them to carry on like this. Charlie had questioned whether Danni’s feelings for Lucas could turn off overnight, after so long. Even though they had, she still hadn’t been able to believe Esther would be able to switch off her feelings for Danni just as quickly. She certainly couldn’t. Danni had lost other friends along the way, for one reason or another, but Esther was family, or at least she had been.

‘She asked to swap shifts with me again. Some kind of wedding prep emergency or something. She seems to be having a lot of those lately.’ Aidan pulled a face. ‘Which is why I told her she should just have eloped to Antigua and done it on the beach. But she made me an offer I couldn’t refuse if I did the swap.’

‘Oh really.’ Danni tried to keep her tone casual. As far as she could tell, Esther hadn’t told anyone what had happened. But it was only a matter of time before people started picking up on the fact that their friendship was apparently over.

‘She said I can help her plan her hen do! Can you believe it? I was worried I might be stepping on your toes, but she said you’re really busy with other stuff and that you’d understand why she asked me.’ Aidan looked mortified when he saw the expression that must have crossed Danni’s face. ‘Oh God, I have stepped on your toes, haven’t I?’

‘No, it’s fine. I just feel like I’ve let her down. Talk about being the worst maid of honour ever.’

‘Of course you’re not. Oh, honey.’ Aidan wrapped her in his arms for a moment, then he laughed. ‘If anyone needs to worry about being the worst at something, it’s Gary. He’s trying online dating, but every time he gets a quiet five minutes in this place he practises imaginary golf. He doesn’t even seem to realise he’s doing it, but if any of his dates see that, his chances will be over before they’ve even begun.’

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