Page 25 of A Found Family at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘I had a call from the clinic today, about the results of my screening tests. They’re worried about something that’s shown up in my blood. I’ve been referred for more tests, but if I had to guess, I’d say they strongly suspect it’s leukaemia.’ The word felt so alien as she said it out loud, as if she was trying to pronounce something she’d never heard of before. Herteeth were chattering and, as she reached for her coffee, her hands were shaking too, fear making itself plain. The shock on Reuben’s face was just as obvious.

‘I’m so sorry, Isla. I can’t even imagine what it was like to get a call like that. What have your family said?’

‘Nothing, because I haven’t told them.’ If it was possible, he looked even more shocked at that revelation. No one would understand unless they’d been through the things her family had experienced, but Reuben clearly wanted to try.

‘Why not?’

‘Because they’ll worry themselves to death about it, after what happened to my dad, and I don’t want them to have to deal with it, unless they really have to.’

‘Aidan told me about your dad and I’m really sorry about what happened to him, but I’m almost certain your family would want to know, so they can support you with this.’

‘They would, but this is my choice.’ For the first time, something stronger than fear was firing inside of Isla and her tone was sharp. If Reuben even thought about finding a way to go behind her back and speak to her family, she wouldn’t be the only one facing a terrifyingly uncertain future.

‘Okay, but you need to let someone be there for you, and I know my uncles will want to support you.’ Reuben curled his fingers around hers, and the strangest thing about it was that it wasn’t uncomfortable, or odd, it felt right. ‘And I’d like to be there for you too, in any way I can. I’m hoping to God that it’s nothing to worry about, but if you need anything, I want you to know I’m here.’

She’d barely registered what he was offering to do for someone he hardly knew, because her mind was whirring again. All she could think about was how devasted Aidan and Jase would be if all the plans they’d made to start a family came crashing down. She couldn’t do that to them, she wouldn’t, andshe had to make Reuben understand why. ‘I can’t tell Aidan and Jase either. Not when all their hopes for a baby are resting on me being able to donate my eggs.’

‘They’ll never forgive themselves, or me, if you go through the next round of tests without their support, and I don’t think I could live with that either.’ Reuben still had hold of her hand and he seemed every bit as determined to make his point. ‘Like I said before, when you agreed to donate your eggs, you became a part of this family. Like it or not.’

‘You’re not going to give me any choice, are you?’ Isla knew what Reuben’s response was going to be, even before he shook his head. She could have carried on fighting it, and trying to convince him that telling his uncles was a mistake, but she didn’t have the energy. More than that, deep down, a part of her had to admit she must have wanted this, or she’d never have changed her mind about telling him. As much as she hated the thought of burdening Aidan and Jase, relief was flooding her body too, because she was no longer carrying this weight completely on her own. There was still a chance that there was nothing to worry about, but Isla knew too much to pin her hopes on being given the all-clear. If she had to sit in a room and hear the words confirming she had leukaemia, she wasn’t sure she could face that on her own.

‘Okay then.’ Her words were barely audible, but she knew Reuben had heard her because he was squeezing her hand. A few hours before she wouldn’t have been able to imagine this scenario in her wildest dreams, but the call from the clinic had sent her whole world spinning off its axis. And suddenly Reuben felt like the only solid thing she had left to cling on to.

14

When Reuben had called Aidan to say he was at Isla’s flat, and that she’d had some bad news, he’d been certain it was going to be about her mother or sister. Isla had opened up about how much she missed them, and how her father’s health had made her fear losing another member of her family. Most people were able to push those kinds of thoughts to the back of their minds, but when you’d watched someone slowly die as Isla had, it was much harder to believe that the people you loved were always going to be okay. He’d really felt for her, but he hadn’t really been able to put himself in her place. If his own father were to die, the tragedy was that Aidan didn’t think it would affect his life at all. At least not in a day-to-day way. There were no regular visits or phone calls to miss, no turning to his father for advice or support, and no in-jokes that only the two of them shared. All that would be left behind was regret.

Discovering that Isla’s bad news was about the results of her screening tests had taken Aidan’s breath away, but what had surprised him even more was that his first thought hadn’t been about how that might affect the egg donation. He’d heard the fear in her voice, when Reuben had put her on the phone, andall he’d wanted was to get to her, and to promise her that it was all going to be okay, even though he had no idea if it would be. Her mother was in hospital thousands of miles away, and Isla had sobbed when she’d told him why she couldn’t tell her grandparents that she might be facing a leukaemia diagnosis. But Isla needed family around her more than ever, and Aidan and Jase were going to fill that void. He didn’t even stop to question whether his husband would be prepared to drop everything and rush over to Isla’s flat, because he’d known Jase wouldn’t have been able to imagine doing anything else.

By the time they’d got there, Isla had been apologetic and clearly wishing she hadn’t said anything until she knew for certain that there was something to say.

‘I’m giving you all this worry now, but it could be nothing, couldn’t it?’ There hadn’t been much conviction in Isla’s statement, but Aidan had nodded all the same.

‘It could easily be nothing but, either way, the last thing we want you to worry about is the egg donation. That’s nothing in the big scheme of things.’ He’d caught Jase’s eye for a moment, and an unreadable expression had crossed his husband’s face, but there was no way they could discuss it further in front of Isla. Instead, they’d rallied around her, talking about all the other things her blood test results could mean, and that, even if it was leukaemia, the chances of successful treatment were really high. Isla had sat close to Reuben all night, and the irony of the situation hadn’t been lost on Aidan. The spark between them the first time they’d met, had been obvious, and he’d been certain there was a connection in the messages they’d exchanged in the WhatsApp group. Being the old romantic he was, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from secretly hoping that they might end up together. After all, there’d be no better way of making Isla a part of their family than that. But this wasn’t the kind of closeness he’d wanted them to develop. Isla had admittedthat the only reason she’d confided in Reuben was because he wasn’t someone who’d be devastated by the idea that she might have cancer. But Aidan could see on his nephew’s face and hear it in Reuben’s voice that he already cared about Isla. None of them wanted her to have to face something like this, and it had shocked him, when they’d discussed it afterwards, that Jase didn’t seem to think it automatically meant their plans should go on hold.

Two days after they’d been to Isla’s flat, Jase had bounded in, fizzing with excitement about arranging a phone call with their potential surrogate. ‘I’ve set up the call with Ellen, and I said we’d ring at eleven, so make sure you’re ready to be your sparkling best, and you’ve got the list of questions you wanted to ask.’

‘Do you think we should be calling her now? When we don’t know what’s happening with Isla?’ There was no way they could commit to the next phase of the process with all of this going on, but Jase was looking at him with a quizzical expression on his face.

‘I’m as worried about Isla as you are, but you do remember what they said to us at the clinic, don’t you? Finding a surrogate is the biggest key to us having a baby. There are a lot more options for egg donation.’

‘I can’t believe you’re saying that. Is that what Isla is to you? An expendable part of our plan?’ The words caught in Aidan’s throat as he turned to look at his husband, not wanting to believe that the man he loved could even think like that, but Jase was already shaking his head.

‘Of course it isn’t. I’m really fond of Isla, and I know she’s come to mean a lot to you too, but she wouldn’t want us to give up the chance of finding a surrogate. She said so herself, and none of that will stop us being able to support her with whatever she might need.’ Everything Jase was saying was perfectlyreasonable, and it was true too, which meant Aidan couldn’t explain the way it made him feel. But he had to try.

‘The thing is, she doesn’t feel she can talk to any of her family about this, and I understand what that’s like. I know how lonely it can be facing something potentially life changing, when you’ve got no one to lean on. You’ve always had people you can turn to. But if Isla needs me, I want to be there for her.’ Aidan had a feeling he wasn’t making any sense, because Jase was right. In theory, there was nothing stopping them from doing both things. Except when Isla had told him there was no one in her family she could confide in, something had clicked inside Aidan’s head. If she was diagnosed with leukaemia, she needed to be someone’snumber-onepriority, and he wanted that someone to be him. Until he’d met Jase, he’d spent most of his life feeling like he was no one’s priority, and he didn’t want Isla to feel that way for a single moment.

‘This is not going to stop you being there for Isla, I promise.Please, let’s just talk to Ellen on the phone and see how it goes.’

‘Okay, but I’m not just going to go elsewhere for egg donation and act like what Isla offered to do for us was nothing.’ Aidan had a sharp edge to his voice, but Jase reached for his hand.

‘I’d never do that either, and I hope you know that, deep down.’ As Jase’s eyes searched his face, Aidan found himself nodding. His husband was the kindest man he’d ever known, and the last thing he’d want was to do anything to hurt Isla. But there was something Aidan hadn’t told Jase, the doubt that had begun creeping in about starting a family, after their last conversation, when he’d insisted Aidan should be the biological father. If genes played a stronger part than either of them thought, then Aidan could prove just as inadequate as his own father in forming a bond of unconditional love with their child. It was something that had been playing on his mind more and more since his last visit to Ireland. Isla’s health scare mightbe the main reason why they needed to consider putting their fertility treatment on hold, but it wasn’t the only one.

‘Do you think we should get some of these for when Danni comes back from her appointment?’ Amy gestured towards the balloons in the hospital shop, in pink and blue, with the wordsit’s a girl, andit’s a boy, emblazoned across the front. ‘We could get one of each, to cover all bases.’

‘Danni’s not the kind of person who needs a metallic balloon to tell the world the baby’s sex. All she’ll care about is that everything’s okay.’ Aidan had barely been able to crack a smile all morning, and he knew he sounded as miserable as he felt. Poor Amy was probably wishing she hadn’t asked him to come for a coffee at the hospital shop, during their break. Danni had been sent for extra scans after experiencing some bleeding, which had now thankfully settled down. But she’d booked a private scan at sixteen weeks, just to help reassure her and Charlie that everything was still okay and because it had felt like too long to wait until the twenty-week scan. They’d been told they could find out the baby’s sex if they wanted to, and the rest of the team seemed every bit as excited as the expectant parents. It was just Aidan putting a dampener on things, and he needed to snap out of it. ‘It’s a lovely thought, though, Ames. But maybe we should just get a couple of boxes of doughnuts delivered, so we can celebrate with her at the end of the shift. She’s developed some scarily intense cravings for sweet stuff.’

‘Me too, but the tragic part is I’m not pregnant. I can barely even remember the last time I went on a date.’ Amy grinned, but suddenly her expression changed. ‘Are you okay? You don’t seem yourself lately. I haven’t upset you banging on aboutDanni’s scan results, have I? It must be really hard with what you’re going through.’

---