Page 29 of A Found Family at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘I work in A&E with Isla and, once seen, this face is never forgotten.’ Aidan’s words were light-hearted, but he took hold of Isla’s hand as they sat down. She was more grateful than everthat he’d come with her, and that she had something solid to hold onto.

‘It can be really useful to have someone with you when you get your results, as I often find patients don’t take much in after they hear a diagnosis. It can be a lot to process.’ Dr Yang was still smiling, which surely had to mean that the news she was about to impart wasn’t so bad after all. ‘As I think we all expected, the lumbar puncture confirmed that you do have leukaemia.’

Isla had heard patients talk about having out-of-body experiences before, but she’d never really believed they were real, until the word leukaemia had reached her ears. Dr Yang kept talking after that, but Isla found herself watching the other woman’s mouth moving, without really being able to take in the words. For a long time, no one seemed to notice that Isla wasn’t really in the room any more, but then Vanessa leant forward in her seat.

‘Do you understand what that means, Isla? The tyrosine kinase inhibitor therapy will target and block the enzyme that’s causing your stem cells to develop more white blood cells than your body needs. It’s the first line of treatment for chronic myeloid leukaemia, and it’s been found to be very effective in many patients.’

‘But it doesn’t always work?’ Isla had probably read up enough about the different types of leukaemia and their treatments, to be able to brief a patient herself if she had to, but she needed to hear it from the experts.

‘If it comes to that, there are other options, including chemotherapy.’ Dr Yang made it sound so easy, but there was something else Isla knew about her type of leukaemia that was making the news more difficult to deal with than she’d expected. Especially when a diagnosis of acute myeloid leukaemia was the thing she’d really been dreading. She should have beenreassured to discover it was the chronic kind, but none of that relief seemed to be forthcoming.

‘CML’s not curable, though, is it? This is something I’m going to have hanging over me for the rest of my life.’ Even as she said the words, Isla could picture her dad’s face. He’d lived with the knowledge that a deadly condition was going to kill him sooner or later, and he’d sacrificed so much to make sure his children never had to go through something like that. Except now here she was.

‘For most people it’s not considered curable, although in rare instances that is possible with a stem cell transplant.’ Dr Yang looked directly at Isla. ‘However, with the right treatment, many patients can expect a normal life span and a good quality of life.’

‘But I’ll be having treatment for the rest of my life?’

‘The targeted therapy is aimed at stopping the CML from progressing to the accelerated phase, which can become life-threatening. So, yes, you’ll be having treatment for the rest of your life, but that’s no different from other chronic conditions, like diabetes.’ Dr Yang clicked the keyboard in front of her. ‘We’ll also be running some tests to see whether you have the Philadelphia chromosome, an abnormal fusion of genes in your DNA, which 95 per cent of patients with CML have.’

‘Does that mean any children I have will be affected?’ Isla glanced at Aidan as she spoke, and he squeezed her hand again.

‘No.’ Dr Yang shook her head. ‘It’s not something you’ve inherited. It’s a genetic change that happens during a person’s lifetime, so there’s no risk of passing it on either.’

‘Well that’s something.’ The doctor’s words had planted a tiny seed of hope inside Isla that was already growing. She might not have to let Aidan and Jase down after all but going through with the fertility treatment wouldn’t be entirely selfless. It would give her a reason to keep looking forward, and she had a feeling she was really going to need that. Until now, starting a family ofher own hadn’t been anywhere near the forefront of her mind. There were plenty of people who parented alone and made a brilliant job of it, but she’d always imagined a different set up – a family like her mum and dad had built, and Aidan and Jase were trying to create, with two parents sharing the highs and lows together. But it had never felt like a priority, especially when she was so scared of losing someone she loved that she didn’t let people in. Except suddenly, she knew for certain she wanted to be a mother at some point and, if she could help Aidan and Jase, it had to mean there was a good chance of her having children of her own one day too. She had to believe she had a future, and to try and push down the nagging fear that she might not live long enough to do all the things she’d planned to do ‘one day’. Anything that helped her focus on a life beyond her diagnosis was a positive, and being able to fulfil the offer she’d made Aidan and Jase was a huge part of that.

‘This provides a lot of information you might want and the answers to some frequently asked questions.’ Vanessa handed Isla a booklet. ‘There’s a sticker on the front with my contact details, in case you have any other questions, and you can find the details of support groups and drop-in sessions on The Thornhill Centre’s website. There’s a counselling service too.’

‘Thank you.’ There were a million questions whizzing through Isla’s mind already, but she needed some time to think before she asked any of them. If there was a chance she might need chemo, if the targeted therapy didn’t work, then freezing her eggs now could be a sensible option. That might mean reducing the number she could offer to Aidan and Jase, but now she had no idea if they’d even want to use her eggs. Dr Yang had said there was no genetic link with CML, but would they really want a woman with cancer and a potential gene mutation to be the biological mother of their child? A tiny part of her also wondered whether she should be maximising her own chancesof becoming a parent, by keeping any eggs that were frozen as insurance against the possibility of future infertility. And yet she still couldn’t imagine not going through with the plan, if they wanted her to.

‘We’ll be in contact in the next few days about an appointment for the first stage of your treatment.’

‘Thank you.’ It was Aidan who responded this time, because the questions that were still racing around, faster and faster, in Isla’s brain, seemed to be preventing her from even being able to form two simple words, let alone making sense of the plans she’d had for fertility treatment. Her thoughts were so mixed up and confused, as if someone had put them in a blender and turned it up to max speed.

‘I know this is a stupid thing to ask, but are you okay?’ Aidan put an arm around her shoulder as they walked away from the consulting room.

‘I honestly don’t know.’ Isla wanted to be able to tell him that she was, to convince herself as much as anything, but she wasn’t sure how she felt. ‘The news could have been far worse, but there’s something about this not being curable that feels so…’

‘Triggering? Like what your dad went through.’

‘Exactly.’ She couldn’t believe Aidan had understood without her having to explain, and he didn’t seem to think she was being ridiculous, even though part of her thought she was. ‘I know this is nothing like Huntington’s, and I probably sound over dramatic, but I saw the shadow it cast over not just Dad’s life, but all of ours. And as crazy as it sounds, having something potentially less serious, but incurable, almost feels worse than having a more serious form of leukaemia that could be cured completely.’

‘It doesn’t sound crazy to me.’ Aidan stopped and turned her to face him. ‘You can’t expect to make sense of any of this straight away, and I want you to know I’m here for you. If youneed to talk, or to go out and do something, anything, to avoid having to even think about all of this for a little while, I’m here. For any of it.’

‘I can’t expect you to do that. You’ve got your own life, and I know there was somewhere else you needed to be when the appointment ran late. So I feel guilty enough as it is.’

‘I told you, this is the only place I need to be.’ Aidan smiled for the first time. ‘Well obviously not in St Piran’s, because that feels far too much like being at work when we’ve got a day off. But I know just the place we can go.’

Over the last seven days, Isla had eaten more produce from Reuben’s greengrocers and deli than any other kind of food, but this was the first time she’d actually been inside. Port Kara was a foodie’s paradise, with not one, but two Michelin-star restaurants, lots of independent shops, and a high-end supermarket. Even with all that competition, his business stood out, and there was a queue out of the door when Aidan and Isla arrived. But as soon as Reuben spotted them, he ushered them in, and through to the little courtyard garden at the back of the deli, where a bistro table was perfectly positioned to catch the last of the afternoon sun.

‘This is so lovely.’ Isla took a seat at the table, instantly feeling as if some of the dark shadows were lifting as the sun warmed her face.

‘Rube’s hoping to be able to have a little café garden eventually, but for now this is exclusively for the use of his most VIP customers. I texted him when we were leaving the hospital, and he said he’d whip us something up.’

‘Does he know? About the diagnosis?’ Isla wasn’t sure why she felt so awkward about the idea. After all, Reuben was the one she’d confided in first. But there was nothing attractive about being a cancer patient and, as hard as she wanted to deny it to herself, she didn’t want Reuben to think of her as someone sick, or worst of all, needing his pity.

‘That’s your news to choose to share, not mine.’ Aidan had barely got the words out of his mouth, when Reuben came through the back door of the deli and into the garden.

‘Unc said you needed something that tasted as good as a Jack Daniels and Coke but was a bit on the healthier side. So what could be better than a double hit of chocolate: chocolate and walnut brownies, and a chocolate milkshake made with almond milk. It all tastes amazing, but the ingredients will actually do you some good too.’

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