Page 42 of A Found Family at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘It’s Cian’s father, John. He’s dead and Da was the one who found him. He’d gone missing, and Da and some of the others from the pub went looking for him. John was in there almost every night, drinking far too much. It was always worse at certain times and yesterday was Cian’s?—’

‘Birthday.’ Aidan cut his sister off. He’d marked the occasion in his own way, raising a toast to his old friend and making the same promise he always did: to try to live a life Cian would have been proud of. It wasn’t a date that ever slipped by unnoticed for him, and it seemed that John had been far more affected by his son’s death than Aidan had realised. For a long time, he’d heldhatred in his heart towards Cian’s parents, but no one had come out of what had happened to him unscathed.

‘I knew you wouldn’t have forgotten.’ May sounded like she was struggling not to cry. ‘Da’s friend Jimmy was in the pub too, and he said that John’s drinking was even heavier than usual and that some of them offered to get him home. John insisted on getting some air first, but he didn’t come back and they thought he’d decided to head off on his own. It was only when his wife called Jimmy, to ask if he’d seen John, that they realised he hadn’t made it home. That’s when they started looking for him. Da eventually went to the church and found John slumped on the ground, close to Cian’s grave. He was already cold, but Da still tried to bring him back. It must have been awful, and Mammy said that the look on his face when he came home was heartbreaking.’

‘Oh my God, that’s terrible. Such a lot of wasted life that could have been avoided.’ Aidan closed his eyes for a moment. Picturing Cian’s face as it had been, back when they’d spent all their time hanging out together, bonding over a part of their identity that had tied them together like brothers. There’d been so many missed opportunities for Cian’s parents to prevent the tragedy that had cost them their son, and that had now cost Eileen her husband. Someone always needed to reach out first, before it was too late, and sometimes that first step was all it took. ‘Do you think I should talk to Da?’

‘He’s closed himself off, he’s barely saying two words to anyone and I wouldn’t want you to think, if he doesn’t want to talk, that it’s a personal thing against you.’ May let go of a shuddering breath and Aidan tried not to over-analyse what she’d said. There was a chance she was trying to protect him, because she knew their father had no interest in trying to rebuild a relationship with his youngest child, but he was going to takeher words at face value for now. Their father had been through something traumatic and this wasn’t about Aidan.

‘I’ll send him a message and if he wants to call me he can, if not…’ He had no idea how to finish the sentence, but he didn’t need to. May understood.

‘I wish I’d known what you and Cian were going through back then, I could have done more to help and I’ll never forgive myself for that.’

‘Don’t say that. I spent years wishing I’d done more to help Cian, but we can’t change the past, all we can do is try and learn from it.’ Aidan breathed out slowly. Reaching out to his father was the right thing to do, despite the fact he’d told himself there’d be no more chances. Cian and John had never taken the opportunity to say the things that needed to be said, and they’d lost their lives because of it. Aidan’s father might never say the words he wanted to hear either, but he wasn’t going to be the one to prevent his father from having the chance. It was down to Sean now.

Isla telling herself that she couldn’t lean on Reuben was one thing, but actually following through on that promise was a lot harder. He’d seemed so sad when she’d sent him away, turning down the chance of starting a relationship with him that a huge part of her had desperately wanted to take. She wondered if he’d ever want to speak to her again, but then he’d called the day after, just to check in, so he’d said. That’s when she’d found herself telling him about Sarah, the tears flowing again as she recounted the regrets the older woman had shared with her. He’d listened and empathised, eventually asking Isla if she’d found the conversation with Sarah even more difficultbecause of what she was going through. She’d admitted she was determined, regardless of how the CML progressed, never to end up looking back on a lifetime full of regrets and missed opportunities.

‘Talking of not living with regrets, I know you don’t want us to be any more than friends, but I don’t want to lose your friendship too, because I was an idiot and told you how I felt.’ Reuben’s voice was low, and she almost cracked then, and told him she felt things for him she’d never felt before. But she had to remember the promise she’d made not to drag him into the middle of a mess she was still a long way from sorting out. Isla couldn’t deny she’d missed him, though, from the moment he’d walked out of her flat, and she couldn’t bear the thought of him not being a part of her life in some capacity.

‘I’d like to stay friends.’ She wondered for a moment whether he could hear the lie in her voice. It wasn’t what she wanted, but she’d made a vow to focus on getting her life back on track, and becoming romantically involved with Reuben could so easily disrupt that, especially if it didn’t last.

‘How about we go out and do something together? Strictly platonic, of course, and I promise not to say anything that crosses the line of our friendship, as long as you promise me something too.’ There was a slight teasing tone to Reuben’s voice, and she had a feeling she was going to have to work every bit as hard not to cross that line. But she’d manage somehow. After all, she’d got very adept at hiding how she really felt just lately.

‘What do you want me to promise?’

‘That we won’t talk about the fertility treatment or the CML. It’ll be just you and me, having fun, two friends together.’ He emphasised the last part and she found herself nodding, even though he couldn’t see her.

‘I think that sounds like a fair deal, What did you have in mind?’

‘Axe throwing.’ This time his voice was completely deadpan and she couldn’t help laughing.

‘We’re going axe throwing? Are you sure that’s a good idea? I’ve got a lot of pent-up rage.’ She’d meant it as joke, but Reuben still had that knack he’d always had of getting things out of her, even when she’d fully intended to keep them to herself.

‘That makes it the ideal activity then. It’s at that new bar in Port Tremellien, The Games Room. You can do axe throwing, crazy golf, beer pong, and there’s even some karaoke booths.’

‘I think you might decide you’d rather I threw an axe at your head than have to listen to me sing.’ Isla was already grinning at the thought. It sounded like the perfect night out, doing stupid things and having the kind of fun she couldn’t remember having in a long time.

‘Are you free tomorrow evening? I can pick you up at six.’

‘I’ll look forward to seeing you.’ It was the kind of thing friends said to each other all the time and there was no reason he should read anything more into it, even if she had to admit to herself that her longing to see him didn’t feel much like friendship.

25

‘Okay, that’s three games down, one to you and two to me.’ Isla smiled and it was almost as if she could feel her eyes twinkling. She’d forgotten what it felt like just to have fun, but Reuben had served it up in style, and now they were about to tuck into Sloppy Joe sliders, along with The Games Room’s house special cocktail, which looked remarkably like a piña colada, although they’d both gone for the alcohol-free option. Isla hadn’t wanted to confess that she didn’t have a choice because she was taking the fertility medication, so she pretended it was in solidarity with Reuben, who was driving.

‘I’m going to be the victor in the karaoke booth.’ He grinned and something in her chest felt as if it had fluttered in response. But she wasn’t thirteen any more, watching theTwilightmovies, and fantasising about finding her very own Edward. That was the last time she’d felt like this, and when she looked at Reuben it had all the intensity of a teenage crush. So she dropped her gaze and swirled the straw around in her drink.

‘Can you actuallywinat karaoke?’ As she asked the question, she forced herself to look up again and meet his gaze, the fluttering sensation picking up pace as he laughed.

‘You can certainly lose.’ Reuben dropped the perfect wink. ‘But as it happens, there’s a monitor in the booths that picks up how much each person stays on pitch and you get a score at the end. It’s a bit likeJust Dancefor singers.’

‘Well, I hope you’re ready. I might have downplayed my abilities before, but I’ve been told more than once that I’ve got a powerful voice.’

‘You do know that’s just a polite way of saying you’re loud and tuneless, don’t you?’ Reuben laughed again, as she poked out her tongue. This had been just what she needed, and there was nowhere else she’d rather have been.

Reuben had scored a pretty impressive 76 per cent with his rendition of ‘Texas Hold ’Em’ and he raised his eyebrows as Isla moved past him to choose her song.

‘Beat that if you can!’

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