Page 43 of A Found Family at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘Oh, I fully intend to.’ She’d smiled as she scrolled through the choices, and a karaoke classic she’d sung with her mum and sister at family parties caught her eye. It was cheesy and maybe even predictable, but she knew the song had meant a lot to her mother during difficult times.

‘Okay. You’ve chosen “I Will Survive”, so you’re going old school with the original karaoke song.’

‘You’re just worried because you know the games’ score is about to be three to one, to me.’ Isla took a deep breath as the intro to the song began. But once she started singing, she forgot any embarrassment she’d anticipated at Reuben hearing her tuneless rendition, and she belted the song out for all she was worth, picturing her mum and the rest of the family. It was for all of them, and everything they’d survived. By the time she wasfinished, her eyes were blurred with tears, but she wasn’t sad, she felt stronger and more powerful than she had in a long time. At least until she saw her score: a very mediocre 48 per cent.

‘Oh God, I’m the loser.’

‘No, you’re not. You’ve just given everything to the song you were born to sing.’ Reuben took hold of her arms. ‘You’ve survived so much difficult stuff already, and you won’t just survive what’s going on now. You’ll thrive. All the things you’ve been through have made you the amazing person you are, and everything that’s happening now is just going to be a part of your story.’

‘Thank you.’ He was the kindest, most genuine person she’d ever met and in the confines of the booth their bodies were almost touching, all of which resulted in an almost unstoppable urge to kiss him again. Instead, she let go of another long breath. ‘Not just for what you’ve just said, but for everything, it really has been the best night.’

‘It has, hasn’t it?’ She couldn’t work out if she was imagining the slightly wistful note in his voice and she wanted to say there was one thing that would make it even more perfect, but she couldn’t break the promise she’d made and the only thing she could do was change the subject.

‘We do need a tie-breaker though. How about we race each other to the bottom of one of their fudge brownie sundaes?’

‘It’s a deal, and shall we agree that whoever takes the overall win gets to choose where we go next time?’ As Isla nodded, she did something else she’d promised herself she’d do more of, and counted her blessings. Having someone in her life like Reuben made it feel as if she’d already won. He might be just a friend, when deep down she wanted so much more, but he was already a part of her life she couldn’t imagine living without.

Isla was shaking as the FaceTime call connected. She’d contemplated telling her nan and Grandpa Bill about her diagnosis before her mum and sister came online. But this was going to be hard enough, and she didn’t want to go through it twice.

‘Oh my goodness, look at those two! They’re already changing so much.’ Isla’s nan clapped her hands together in delight, when Lexi appeared on the screen, with the babies cradled in the crook of each arm. Her mother was on one side, and Josh on the other.

‘They really are, Nan, and we can’t wait to see you. Just over a week to go now!’

‘I’m just trying not to think about how quickly the three weeks you’re over here for are going to go by.’ Clare pulled a face. ‘Sorry, sorry, I know I’m being a Debbie Downer, worrying about the end of everything before we’ve even had a chance to enjoy it.’

‘That must be where I get it from.’ Isla hadn’t meant to blurt the words out, but they were churning inside her, making her feel as though she might be sick. ‘I’ve got something to tell you all.’

‘You’re not pregnant too, are you?’ Clare’s eyes widened, but Lexi just laughed.

‘She’d actually have to start seeing someone for that to happen.’ Suddenly her expression changed, mirroring the shock on their mother’s face. ‘Unless you’ve decided not just to donate your eggs, but to be the surrogate too.’

‘Oh Isla, please tell me you haven’t, not without talking it through first.’ Her mother leant closer to the screen and everyone started talking at once, voicing an opinion on whetheror not she needed anyone else’s permission to become a surrogate.

‘Stop, stop. It’s nothing like that.’ Isla took a deep breath, the words she’d dreaded saying rushing out on the exhale. ‘I’ve got leukaemia.’

Once they were out, there was no taking them back, and the ten minutes that followed were a whirlwind of tears, and questions, and reassurances that it would all be okay. Everyone had cried, even Josh, who Isla had no idea would have been as affected as he was. It was another reminder of just how much love she was surrounded by, and how lucky she was. But it was the wisdom of her grandmother that had calmed her mother’s near-hysteria in the end.

‘I know this is a horrible shock, Clare, and we all wish Isla didn’t have to go through this. But every day is a gift, and you and Nicky learnt to treasure that. Knowing he’d eventually develop Huntington’s didn’t stop you planning things, it meant you were able to create the best life possible and Nicky never missed a single opportunity to make a memory with the people he loved. He’s been my inspiration to do that, and I learnt far more from my son than I ever taught him. So that’s what we all need to do: hope for tomorrow and plan like it’s going to come, but live for today. Most people don’t, because they haven’t had the privilege of learning from someone like Nicky, but we all did. And that’s why, even though Isla’s going to be just fine, she’ll get to do everything she should be doing, and make the most of every opportunity that comes her way.’

If Isla hadn’t known better, she’d have been convinced that Gwen had already spoken to her grandmother, because their sentiments were much the same. But the truth was, it was a wisdom that came with age, and from having lived a life with ups and downs, sorrow and joy, and a realisation that the best typeof life wasn’t always the longest, but the kind that was measured in love.

26

When the clinic phoned to confirm Isla’s final scan before the egg collection, it was clear they had no idea that the plans had changed. The nurse asked if Aidan or Jase would be coming in with her, and whether there’d been any rethink on attempting to create embryos for freezing with the first five eggs, or simply freezing all the eggs for fertilisation at a later date. The research Isla had done suggested there was a slightly better chance of embryos thawing more successfully than unfertilised eggs, but it wasn’t even an option on the table any more, given that Aidan and Jase didn’t want to go ahead. Either they hadn’t told the clinic about the change of plan, or they were still too worried they’d hurt Isla by pulling out of the arrangement, which would mean Reuben had lied when he’d said he talk to them about it.

She tried not to fan the tiny spark of hope flickering inside her, that Aidan and Jase might have decided they still wanted to go ahead, because she’d never once wavered on that. She might have made a mess of things by fixating on it being her only chance of having a child, but she knew now that wasn’t true. The odds of her managing her condition were hugely in her favour, and the biggest barrier to her having a family of her own daywould be if she decided to stand in her own way. But she wasn’t going to be like Sarah Vardy, Isla was going to start taking risks with every opportunity that came along, and the first one had arrived when she’d got that call from the clinic.

‘Is everything okay?’ Reuben sounded breathless when he answered the phone, but just hearing his voice gave Isla a warm glow.

‘I’m fine.’ She tried not to read too much into the fact that it sounded as though he really cared. She’d done nothing but try to push him away, and yet he’d still fought to be a part of her life and it genuinely seemed to matter to him that she was okay. ‘I just had a call from the clinic asking me if anything has changed with the plans for the eggs I’m donating…’

‘I’m sorry.’ Reuben sighed. ‘I couldn’t tell them, because I know it’s not what they want, and I needed to be sure you meant it before I said anything.’

‘What makes you think I didn’t mean it?’ She kept her tone light. There was no accusation, she genuinely wanted to know what had given it away to him, before she’d fully realised it herself.

‘Because I don’t think anything you’ve done since your diagnosis has just been for you. I might not have known you for long, but from what I’ve seen, I’ve got a feeling that’s been the case for most of your life. You became a nurse to repay the care you saw your father given. You stayed in Cornwall to make sure your grandparents didn’t feel abandoned after he died, and you stepped up as an egg donor because you knew how badly Aidan and Jase wanted to be parents. You wouldn’t have chosen to walk away from that, unless you thought you were doing it for their benefit.’

‘I’d only just started to work that out myself the night you came round to the flat.’ Isla had really believed she’d hidden her motives well, and the accuracy of Reuben’s interpretation madeit hard to catch her breath. This man, who she’d only known for a handful of weeks, seemed to know her better than she knew herself. It was scary and exciting, and she had no idea whether she’d pushed him away one too many times, but she wanted to find out. And she was about to take another big risk. ‘Do you know why I asked you to leave that night, and said that all I could offer you was friendship?’

---