Page 47 of Together Again at the Cornish Country Hospital

‘What about what’s best for you?’ Claire pulled away to look at him.

‘I think I lost sight of that a long time ago. But I can’t write anything right now, every time I try it’s just so bitter. So, I figured I might as well go back on the road, see my commitments through and then take it from there.’ Lijah had no idea what that meant, or how he’d even get through singing his old material, when he knew now that every song was about Amy. But that was a problem for another day. For now he just had to keep going somehow, say goodbye to the last people in Port Kara who meant something to him, and try to pretend he’d never been back.

‘Whatever happens, I want you to promise me you’ll try and rediscover what’s best for you.Promise.’ Her gaze didn’t waver from his face, and eventually he nodded.

‘I promise.’ When she hugged him close again in the kitchen of Mor Brys, he held on to the moment, knowing it might be a long time before he felt a sense of home like this again. If it ever happened at all.

27

Amy had been avoiding going back to see her parents since Nathan had taken such great delight in the awful headlines. She couldn’t face the thought of him tormenting her further. It didn’t matter that the press had been forced to apologise for any indication that Lijah might be involved in the grooming of underage girls, or the suggestion that he was using his father as a ‘pimp’ to line up casual flings with women who were of legal age to consent.

The police had arrested Stewart and had themselves issued a statement that there was no evidence whatsoever of Lijah’s involvement in anything that had happened, and that he hadn’t seen his father in twenty years. Nathan wouldn’t care about that, he’d find some way of using what had happened to continue to ridicule Amy. It had become a sport to him over the years, and even though she knew his behaviour was caused by a personality disorder, his refusal to get help made it far harder to excuse.

‘Where’s Nathan?’ It was the first thing Amy said to her mother when she arrived at their house, having already made the decision to turn around and leave if he was there.

‘He’s fishing with David. He won’t be back for hours.’ David was her brother’s only friend, although Nathan was lucky even to have held on to him, the way he treated him. ‘Oh, sweetheart you look exhausted.’

Amy’s mother hugged her, before ushering her through to the kitchen, where the table was already laden with lots of Amy’s favourite foods, almost as if a party was being thrown in her honour.

‘What are we celebrating?’ She tried to smile, but she couldn’t quite pull it off.

‘I just thought it would cheer you up. I made you some Mars Bar cakes.’ Her mother gestured towards a plate piled hight with slabs of chocolate crispy cakes. It was one of Kerry’s specialities, made from melting Mars Bars and butter, and mixing in Cocoa Pops, before letting it set and spreading more chocolate on the top. It had about a million calories a slice, probably, and Amy would normally have dived straight in, but not today. She seemed to have lost interest in everything.

‘Thank you. I might have some in a minute, but just a cup of tea would be lovely for now.’

Her mother gave her a level look. ‘Why are you doing this Amy? Denying yourself what you really want.’

‘I said I’ll have some later and—’ Amy could barely keep the note of exasperation out of her voice, but her mother cut her off mid-sentence.

‘I’m not talking about the Mars Bar cake. I’m talking about ending things with Lijah. Claire rang me last night and said he’s as miserable as you are. You’ve both looked so happy being back together and it’s done my soul good to see it. I don’t think I’ve seen you like that since he left. I know we’re all supposed to make ourselves happy these days and not rely on anyone else, but I don’t care how old fashioned it is, most people want to find someone to love, who loves them back. I know you want someone in your life, sweetheart, and no one is going to be able to match Lijah for you. Please don’t throw that away.’

Everybody seemed to be giving her the same advice and a huge part of Amy wanted to take it, but it was nowhere near as simple as everyone seemed to think. She wouldn’t just be having a relationship with Lijah, she’d be having one with every person who felt they had some stake in his life because of his fame.

Amy hated being the focus of attention, except on the odd occasion when she’d had a bit too much to drink and her inhibitions melted away, allowing her to get up and dance or belt out some karaoke. The rest of the time, she was much happier out of the limelight. If she continued seeing Lijah, the attention would be on her far more than she wanted, and she couldn’t imagine any of it being positive. She knew her mum wanted the best for her, and that everyone could see how she felt about Lijah, but none of them really understood. All she could do was try to explain things to the people who cared about her, in the hope they might eventually get it.

‘We come from such different worlds, Mum. It would never work, and I need to get out now before my feelings for him become even stronger.’ Just then the front door slammed, and seconds later Nathan came into the room, his face like thunder, making her heart sink.

‘David forgot the bait, so I told him he’s a dickhead and he stormed off. Stupid wanker.’

‘Nathan, there’s no need for language like that, go upstairs and calm down.’ Kerry’s tone was even, but Amy could see the muscle pulsing in her mother’s cheek.

‘Oh, why becauseshe’shere?’ He jabbed a finger towards Amy. ‘You can’t just send me to my room, I’m not a bloody kid. I’m not disappearing just so she can sit here shovelling food down her throat. That’s not going to help, is it? Maybe if Amy ate a bit less, she’d be able to keep hold of a boyfriend.’

‘Get out!’ Suddenly Kerry was on her feet, her voice was shaking, and Amy could see in her eyes how furious she was.

‘What do you mean, get out?’ Nathan sneered in response, but their mother didn’t waver and it was as if something inside her had finally snapped.

‘Get out of this house and don’t come back until you’re ready to admit you’ve got a problem and that you need help for it. You can’t do this any more Nathan, and I can’t let you.’

‘You can’t just throw me out.’ Nathan’s tone was still cocky, but there was a flicker of something else in his eyes. Something that looked a lot like fear.

‘Yes I can. Now get out, and I meannow!’ Kerry walked towards her son, she was a good six inches shorter than him and far lighter, but suddenly she was a force to be reckoned with. For a moment it looked like Nathan might react, or refuse to leave, but then he turned on his heel, shouting a warning as he went.

‘You’ll all be sorry for doing this. I’ll make sure of it.’ The slamming of the door behind him seemed to shake the whole house, and for a few seconds Amy and her mother just looked at one another, before Kerry burst into tears.

* * *

Lijah had just one more goodbye to make before he left Port Kara. Being part of the befriending service had given him far more that he’d given in return. It had made him feel part of a community for the first time in a very long time, and meeting Albert had been the biggest part of that. He was a bit too old to be a father figure to Lijah, but he was the sort of father Lijah wished he’d had, although almost anyone would have been better than Stewart. But as much as Lijah detested the man, he couldn’t blame Stewart for the end of his relationship with Amy. If she hadn’t made the decision over that headline, she’d have made it over another, and he couldn’t blame her either. Lijah would love to walk away from the relentless intrusion, but he knew he’d be willing to go through that kind of hounding for the rest of his life if it meant he still had Amy.

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