Page 26 of Sunny Skies and Summer Kisses

‘Don’t blame you, Oll. If Jimby’s past ventures are anything to go by, he’ll have you posing in the buff for some photoshoot before you can say, “knack-naked”,’ Molly said dryly, as giggles ran around the kitchen. ‘And from what I can gather, there’s still some locals who haven’t recovered from the shock of seeing him tearing down the street in nowt but his wellies and a pair of skimpy budgie-smugglers.’

‘I don’t think anyone’s recovered from that, Moll.’ Ollie chuckled. ‘I’m personally scarred for life.’

‘I’ll have you know, I got many, many admiring glances that day.’ Jimby flashed them a haughty look.

‘That right?’ Vi could hardly keep herself from laughing. ‘Even with those pasty chicken-legs of yours?’

‘Oh, yes indeedy,’ he said jokingly, feigning a seductive pose.

‘Jimby, what are you like?’ Kitty giggled, shaking her head.

‘I reckon the “admiring glances” he’s referring to must’ve come from Maneater Matheson.’ Molly giggled. ‘And she dishes them out to old Hugh Heifer, so hers don’t count. Anyway, I’d heard it was birds of the feathered variety that were showing an interest in Jimby… something about a “tiny worm”.’ She waggled her little finger and raucous laughter filled the room.

Jimby shot her a mock offended expression. ‘Rude,’ he said, before breaking into a wide smile and laughing along with the rest of them.

A few years earlier, Jimby had persuaded several men from Lytell Stangdale and the surrounding villages to take part in a photoshoot for a calendar he was having put together to raise funds for a village defibrillator. Everyone had happily volunteered, unaware he’d been frugal with the details that they’d have to pose naked but for a strategically placed prop that related to their profession. The calendar had gone down a storm, much to his delight, and had given him, Ollie and Zander Gillespie, the now local GP, a generous fifteen-minutes of fame – and several indecent proposals! – on social media.

‘Anyroad, getting back to this fundraiser, I was thinking it would be a bit of a laugh to organise an auction of promises; we haven’t had one round here before.’

‘Well, as long as it involves you keeping your clothes on, I’m all for it, mate,’ said Ollie.

‘Same here,’ said Vi, giggling and blowing her husband a kiss.

‘I assume this is for the school,’ said Kitty. ‘In which case, I don’t think anything involving the removal of clothes would be very appropriate.’ Various sounds of agreement followed.

Jimby held up his hands. ‘I can assure you, not a stitch of clothing will need to be removed for my latest idea.’

Molly put a hand to her ear. ‘I could swear I just heard folks in the village heave a collective sigh of relief.’

‘Funny bugger,’ said Jimby.

‘I think an auction of promises is a fab idea. I’d be happy to offer a block of free dancing lessons.’ Anoushka beamed, thoughts of her dancing school sending a surge of happiness through her. ‘Lytell Stangdale Primary is a great school and I’m happy to support it.’

‘Yeah, me too, especially now I know I can keep my kit on,’ said Ollie.

Vi nodded. ‘Mmm. Schools are the heart of a village. Without one, places like Lytell Stangdale, Danskelfe and Arkleby would just become full of second homes or holiday lets. I still want it to be there when it’s time for Pippin to go to school.’

‘And it’d be good to support it in any way we can to keep it attractive to the younger generation round here, stop them moving away when they decide to settle down and start their own families; keep pupil numbers up,’ said Kitty.

‘Like Noushka’s age-group, you mean?’ Molly flashed her a grin.

Anoushka threw her a knowing look, but didn’t bite. She wasn’t going to be drawn in on a conversation about her love life that would inevitably lead to Gabe.

‘And your lads, Moll.’ Kitty gave Anoushka a sympathetic smile. ‘Ben and Kristy’ll be parents before you know it.’

‘Ughh! Don’t remind me.’ Molly pulled a face. ‘Not so sure I’m ready to be a granny just yet, but I agree, we need to do all we can to keep the school open. It’s not so bad that the older kids have to travel to secondary school in Middleton, but I think it wouldn’t be ideal for the littlies. I mean some of them are only four years old.’

‘I agree; I wouldn’t fancy our little one having to traipse over there,’ said Vi.

‘Which is why I agreed to help,’ said Jimby.

The local primary school was thriving, and had been awarded the status of “Outstanding” by Ofsted for three consecutive inspections. So popular was it, pupils travelled from out of the local area to attend. The school’s forward-thinking headteacher, Mrs Prudom, was always working on ideas to safeguard its future. Her latest vision was the addition of a new two-storey extension to the Victorian sandstone building, creating extra space that would accommodate a separate computer room, library and dedicated room for the breakfast and afterschool clubs. Despite the Local Authority pledging a generous lump of money, it still wasn’t enough to bring her plans to life. Knowing of Jimby’s involvement in the village fundraising committee, Mrs Prudom had approached him with a view to organising an event that would help fill the coffers.

‘We’ve been given funds for a batch of new computers – which comes from a separate pot of money that can’t be put towards building work. It would be wonderful to create a new space for them,’ Mrs Prudom had said.

‘Leave it with me.’ Jimby had smiled. He hadn’t needed asking twice.

‘So,’ he said, rubbing his hands together and glancing around the table, ‘if you lot could all get your thinking caps on, as well as spreading the word, it’d be good to get the event organised for the summer. I think the village hall would be the best venue, so we’ll need to get a suitable Friday or Saturday night booked. Once that’s done we can take things from there. Let’s try to make this a fabulous night.’

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