Page 51 of Sunny Skies and Summer Kisses

Anoushka blew out her cheeks and hissed out a noisy breath. The thought of hurting his feelings was unbearable. Why did she have to go and say something like that? The pain in his eyes was tearing her apart. She bit back her tears. ‘What can I do? I can’t just leave it like that.’

‘You could always try being honest with yourself, Noushka.’ Kristy looked at her pointedly, reaching for her glass of wine.

‘What do you mean by that?’ Anoushka could feel her pulse whooshing in her ears.

Kristy glanced at Brogan, taking a moment before she replied. ‘Well, we can all see how you feel about him; the only person who seems to be struggling to see it is you.’

‘I agree with Kristy; which is why we can’t understand why you seem so intent on pushing him away. He’s nothing like Damon.’

‘Ughh! You’ve got it so wrong.’ Anoushka flopped back in her seat, scrubbing her hands over her face. ‘Why does it have to be so bloody complicated? Why can’t everyone just accept that he’s a friend? Him included!’

‘Noushka, chick, don’t you think it’s unfair to expect that of him? I mean, if we can see it, your parents can see it, bloody hell, even Lady Caro can see it, don’t you think he might be able to sense you have feelings for him? He’s already laid his cards on the table; it’s blatantly obvious he’s crazy in love with you. Jeez, I wish someone looked at me the way he looks at you.’ Brogan shook her head in despair. ‘And you do seem to be happy to spend time in his company. It kind of looks like you’re sending out mixed messages.’ She looked at Kristy for support.

‘Broge’s right. And we can all see how you come alive when you’re around him; you positively sparkle. You shouldn’t let what happened with Damon or what you promised yourself about having time on your own, stop you from falling in love with someone who’s so perfect for you and who absolutely adores you. There’s no right or wrong time, and he’s a really decent guy, Noushka.’

The reference to her sending out mixed messages rankled. ‘Oh, my God, this is way,waytoo heavy. When will you all realise I’m not interested in being a relationship and won’t be for…’ she threw her hands up in the air, ‘…forever!’ Feeling an unpleasant mix of frustration, guilt and annoyance churning her insides, Anoushka scooped up her leather jacket and grabbed her bag, her nostrils flaring. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this tonight. I’ll see you later.’ With that she flounced out of the pub, her friends staring after her.

‘Noushka! Don’t go,’ Brogan called after her, but her words fell on stony ground.

Outside, Anoushka looked up and down the road, but there was no sign of Gabe which was probably just as well; she wouldn’t even know what to say to him if he had been there. She closed her eyes and shook her head, her heart aching for the hurt she’d caused him. How was she ever going to put this right?

32

Anoushka woke the following morning, a feeling of dread pooling in her stomach as events of the previous night came flooding back. She clapped her hand to her forehead, wishing she could turn back the clock. She should have kept her thoughts to herself, or at least kept her voice down in the pub, then she wouldn’t be awash with regret, and Gabe’s feelings wouldn’t be hurt.

She hadn’t mentioned anything to her parents when she’d got home, despite their enquiring looks at her early return. Instead, she’d headed upstairs and ran a bath, mulling her options over in her mind until the water had gone cold. Her thoughts of how to make things better with Gabe continued to torture her into the early hours where she’d talked herself in and out of going to speak to him, to face up to what she’d said and apologise. Granted, she couldn’t take her words back, but offering an apology was the least she could do, and give her reasons. And, in truth, she’d only been strong in expressing her opinion to her friends to stop them from getting carried away with their matchmaking. Despite her best endeavours to convince herself otherwise – never mind everyone else! – she knew she should acknowledge that her feelings for Gabe went way deeper than just friendship. Not that anyone else needed to know that. But she wasn’t ready to tackle them right now, nor their potential implications. It was way, way too complex for her to get her head around. She had an inkling – more than an inkling if she was honest with herself – that if she allowed herself to fall for him, she’d fall hard. He stirred feelings inside her no man ever had before – definitely not Damon! – and that scared her. Really scared her. And what if she took the risk and opened her heart to Gabe, only for him to decide he didn’t want to be with her anymore? That thought was just too painful to consider. Being abandoned once in her life was bad enough; there was no way she was going to let that happen to her again. She had a plan for her future and that didn’t include a romantic relationship. The more she thought about it, the more she decided she’d be wise to stick to those plans and keep her heart safe out of harm’s way.

Still, the hurt her words had caused Gabe tugged at her conscience and she resolved to go and see him after her last dance class was over that afternoon. She wouldn’t be able to settle until things were right between them.

* * *

As hard asshe’d tried, Anoushka had struggled to give her classes her full attention. She was relieved when three o’clock came round and the last of her students had trickled away. After a quick tidy round, she was awaiting a parent who’d messaged her earlier and asked if she could bring her daughter to look round the studio with a view to taking lessons there. Despite Anoushka explaining it wasn’t really convenient and suggesting several alternative dates, the woman was surprisingly insistent that today would suit her better. Fed up of negotiating, Anoushka had eventually backed down and agreed. From experience, she knew it didn’t bode well for a parent to be so inflexible and pushy, and part of her hoped the woman would decide the dance studio wasn’t suitable. She envisaged a slew of future complaints if the prospective student wasn’t given the starring role in whatever productions the school would put on; she’d witnessed that several times at the dance school in York where she’d worked. Plus, it delayed the time she could speak to Gabe.

Anoushka glanced at the clock; she was itching to close up and head off to find him – he hadn’t replied to her text asking if they could meet up – which made it annoying that the woman was already fifteen minutes late. Maybe she was struggling to find the school? Anoushka wondered. Sat Nav had a habit of dumping drivers a good half-a-mile further down the lane.

By three-thirty, and after texting the woman and getting no reply, Anoushka decided she wasn’t going to wait any longer. She gathered her stuff together, slung her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door.

Outside, the courtyard was a blazing suntrap, with heat bouncing back from the ground and the sandstone walls. The hum of bees buzzing around the lavender in the stone planters that were dotted about filled the air. She popped her sunglasses on and walked around the low wall to get to her car, her mobile and keys in her hand.

‘Hi there, Anoushka.’ She turned to see Zander Gillespie raising his hand in a wave. He was heading towards the newly opened beauty salon, The Beauty Rooms. ‘Good day?’

‘Oh hi, Zander. Yes, you?’ She smiled at him.

‘Great, thanks.’ He beamed. Tall and broad-shouldered, it was easy to see how the GP set so many hearts a-flutter with his film-star good looks and friendly manner.

‘How’s Livvie doing? Is she still craving pickled onions?’ It had been a good few days since Anoushka had seen her friend.

‘She fine, a bit hot and bothered in this heat; I’m just on my way to pick up some relaxing bubble bath and book her a special expectant mum’s massage as a treat.’ He nodded towards the salon. ‘And did you know the pickled onion craving’s been joined by one for cheese and onion crisps?’

‘Wow! No, I didn’t; it all sounds very tangy.’ Anoushka laughed. ‘And I’m sure she’ll love her massage.’ She surveyed him a moment; he was a man who was so very obviously in love with his wife and she him. The pair exuded undeniable contentedness whenever she saw them together with their little daughter. The thought that she could have such a life with Gabe flashed through her mind. She felt a sudden longing wash over her, but sent it scurrying off a moment later. No, she told herself, a life like that would be unattainable for them, what with his high profile and music keeping him in the public eye. Such an idyllic existence would be well out of their reach; she couldn’t live like that. No way. The thought of her picture – and that of any of their potential children – appearing in the gossip columns sent a shiver up her. The very idea was abhorrent!

‘You finished for the afternoon?’ he asked, pulling her out of her musings.

‘Yep, all done.’

‘Well, enjoy the rest of your day.’ He smiled, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans and sauntering in the direction of The Beauty Rooms.

A ping from her mobile phone sent her heart racing. Gabe! She looked down at the screen, her brows knitting together at the unfamiliar number. The word, “CHEAT” glared back at her accusingly. ‘What?’ she said under her breath, her thoughts heading in one direction.

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