Page 25 of Finding Love in Micklewick Bay

‘Oh, right. You chose well then.’

‘Hmm.’ Her mum’s lips were pinched, her fingers clutching tightly onto her coffee cup.

Though Stella felt a prickle of guilt for making her mum uncomfortable, something made her determined to plough on. ‘And what about your parents – my grandparents – are you never tempted to get in touch with them?’

‘No,’ Alice said firmly. ‘Definitely not. They made it very clear that they wanted nothing more to do with me so there’d be no point. They were very stubborn people, they’d never back down from a decision they’d made.’

Sounds familiar.

‘I get that.’ Stella nodded, she could understand her mum’s point of view. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how much it must have hurt, or how scared it had made her mum feel when they’d reacted how they had. It would have taken some pretty cold-hearted person to turn their back on their eighteen-year-old daughter who’d just given birth, the father having walked out. Though she could never imagine being in that position with her mum, she had to concede, she could see why she was reluctant to resume contact with them. ‘But what about my father?’Tread carefully!‘Whenever I ask about him, you clam up. Have you mentioned anything about him to Rhys?’ Stella could have kicked herself at jumping in, but she’d been unable to stop herself.

A cloud fell over Alice’s face, her mouth setting in a hard line. ‘No, I haven’t told Rhys anything about him. Why would I need to? There’s nothing to tell, as I’ve told you many times,’ she said,a hint of irritation in her voice. ‘I really don’t know why you’re asking these questions all of a sudden. It’s not as if he’s going to make any difference to my relationship with Rhys.’

Her mum may have turned prickly, but Stella was undeterred. Didn’t she have a right to know who her father was? And surely, wouldn’t Rhys at least wonder where Stella’s father fitted into the picture? Their relationship may have been brief, but it had produced a child. ‘Surely you can tell me his name? Tell me what he looked like,’ Stella said imploringly. ‘Do I look like him? Is he where I get my height from?’

‘Please, Stella!’ Alice shook her head and rolled her eyes, refusing to be pushed on the matter. She gave her daughter an imploring look.

Stella’s hand flew to her mouth as an abhorrent thought came to her, bile burning in her stomach. ‘Oh my God, Mum, you weren’t a victim of–’

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake! Don’t be ridiculous! Trust you and your lawyer’s brain to go down that route! Of course I wasn’t,’ she said impatiently. ‘I was in a relationship, albeit for a short time, and your father is just someone I’d rather forget. That’s all. As soon as he found out I was pregnant he wanted nothing more to do with me. I’ll never forgive the fool for not hanging around so he could get the chance to get to know, or play a part in the life of the most wonderful little girl and the wonderful young woman you’ve become. He’s not worth you wasting another second of your thoughts on him, Stella!’ Her bottom lip wobbled and she swallowed down a sob. ‘I understand that you want to know who your father is, but you’ve got to trust me on this, lovey, it’s best left alone.’

Stella’s heart twisted. She rushed over, squatting down beside her mum’s chair, taking her hand in hers. Surely there must be something more to the story to generate a reaction like this? ‘Oh, Mum, I’m so sorry, please don’t cry. I didn’t mean toupset you. I was just having a conversation with someone about families earlier and it piqued my curiosity again, that’s all.’

‘It’s okay, flower. It’s me who should be sorry, I overreacted. It’s just, whenever I think of what he’s missed out on because of his selfishness, it makes me so angry.’ She patted Stella’s hand, tears clouding her eyes. ‘I’d hate for you to track him down and for him to reject you all over again. That would be too cruel and you’re worth so much more than his pathetic, arrogant rejection. And I’d hate for his puffed-up ego to get some kind of kick out of you going to the trouble to find him.’ She sniffed, swiping her tears away.

Talk of her father certainly roused some strong feelings in her mum. ‘But surely that’s something for me to decide,’ Stella said gently. ‘I’m a grown woman, not a little girl. I’m tough and I’m rational, and you know I’m not one for being emotional. I won’t care if he doesn’t want to know me, and I’d quite happily tell him that.’

‘Yes, my love, but I’ll care. Very much. And I’ll want to throttle the living daylights out of the silly old fool.’

‘That, I don’t doubt.’ They looked at one another and laughed. ‘And the first thing I’d want to do would be to tear a strip off him for leaving you the way he did. You were so young. There’s no way he’d get away with that lightly.’

‘Like I said before, my love, he’s not worth wasting your energy on.’

That’s a classic cop-out response, Mother!

‘Right then,’ Alice said, clapping her hand on her thigh, apparently drawing the conversation to a close. ‘I really need to be going. I’m interviewing a new candidate to add to the Spick ‘n’ Sparkle team in half an hour. She comes very highly recommended, so I’d best get to the office. Don’t want to create a bad impression.’ She pushed herself up, her body language back to being assertive and confident.

‘Oh, right.’ This was the closest Stella had ever got to her mum opening up about her father, and now, it would seem, the chance was trickling away.

‘Okay, one last attempt. Are you sure you won’t give me his name?’ She looked at her mother, imploringly. ‘Please, Mum. It would mean such a lot to me; give me some sort of closure, if you like.’

Alice threw her head back, exasperated. She huffed out an impatient breath. ‘Stella, we’ve been through this a hundred times. I don’t even know where he is or what he’s doing now, so how the heck would you manage to track him down?’

Had she conveniently forgotten about the small matter of the internet? Stella wondered.

‘And I’m absolutely positive no good would ever come of you knowing him. He’s a selfish, self-centred man. If he wasn’t, he’d have come looking for you years ago,’ she said bitterly. ‘I was well aware of his many failings when I was young and seemingly in love with him, I just chose not to see it – bigger fool me. So I’m afraid it’s a firm and final no, and I’m not prepared to discuss the matter further.’ She set her coffee cup down on the kitchen worktop and headed for the door, scooping up her bag en route. Reaching the door, she turned back. ‘Oh, and I’ll see you on Wednesday evening at The Cellar. Rhys and I have tickets for the auction. He bought them a while ago, thought it sounded fun,’ she said, though there was no trace of humour in her voice. The door closed behind her with a firm click.

Her mother’s revelation stopped Stella’s thoughts in their tracks, her mind processing what she’d just heard.Wow!She was going to The Cellar with Rhys? She really must be serious about him if they were going public.

Stella sucked in a deep breath. It had been quite a day, from events at court, to her sparring session with Vaughan Elliott in the robing room, to the lovely time she’d had with Alex – it hadbeen more than lovely, actually – not that she was keen to dwell on that. And now this. ‘Talk about extremes,’ she said aloud.

Feeling suddenly restless, her mind full of such an odd mix of thoughts she was unable to settle on a single one to even make an attempt at processing it, she started to gather the cardboard boxes and packaging together. She’d take them to the recycling centre on the outskirts of town, get the place looking tidy.

As she worked, her mind kept running over the conversation she’d had with her mum. Much as she felt bad to have annoyed her so much by pushing, the lack of knowledge about her father was becoming increasingly frustrating. What reasons, beyond the ones she always gave whenever Stella confronted her about them, could her mum have for not wanting her to track him down? Couldn’t she see how unreasonable she was being? Surely he couldn’t be a serial killer or something equally unsavoury? And what was responsible for her mum’s hesitation before giving her reason for moving to Micklewick Bay?

Whatever it was, Stella made the decision she was going to do all she could to find out.

FIFTEEN

---