Page 20 of Just This Once

“You dropped your coffee all over the floor,” Ian says, as if I don’t know. As if my brain hadn’t come to a complete and total stop when Dante sauntered into The Nest. As if I hadn’t been thinking about his callused hands on my thighs and his wicked smirk when he told me to feed him my breasts. As if I didn’t remember himspittingon me.

Good god.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him the whole weekend, and then he appeared as if by black magic. All charming smiles and muscles on display.

What an asshole.

“It’s fine,” I tell my brothers. “I’ll be fine.”

I know they don’t believe me with their dubious stares, but I change the subject. “Andi’s going back to California soon?”

Griffin’s shoulders rise on a deep breath. “Yeah, she leaves the first week of November, but it’s only for two weeks.”

Andi is a songwriter and worked on her best friend’s album this past spring. I don’t know much about the business, but after living in Los Angeles for a long time, she’s finally made some good connections and is getting her work out there. “Let me know if you need help with the kids.”

Griffin’s twins, Logan and Grace, are in sixth grade and are good friends with my daughter, Maddie, since she’s only a year older. My son, Jake, is in high school, and while he’ll alwayschoose his friends over spending time with the twins and his sister, they all get along. And I’m happy to help Griffin out since his schedule is irregular.

“Thanks,” Griffin says with a nod then looks to Ian. “We were actually thinking of coming in to get something done.”

“You and Andi and matching tattoos? You sure? Ink is more permanent than a wedding ring.”

Don’t I know it. Ian, too. Both of us divorced.

“That’s why I want it.”

Ian sets his elbows on the table, wiping his teasing smile away. “I knew it was serious. Butthatserious?”

Griffin doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

Honestly, I’m jealous. Of my brother for finding love like that. Of Andi being so lucky to have a man who would answer so immediately and securely. I thought I had that, but I was confused at the time. It took me a long while to realize genuine love didn’t come with expectations or conditions. I assumed Craig’s control of me was love. I hoped it meant he wanted to take care of me.

Naively, I thought if I was perfect enough, if I pleased him enough, then it would get better. It never did.

And I’d rather be single and struggle than married and unhappily kept.

“You going to get down on one knee soon?” I ask, leaning my elbow on the table, angling my body to face Griffin.

“Eventually,” he says confidently, “but not right now. We need to see how her career’s going to play out. We’re in no rush.”

“As long as she has your name tattooed on her skin,” Ian adds, and Griffin doesn’t disagree.

“Such cavemen,” I mumble with a shake of my head. I have one tattoo, for my mother. My brothers have many more.

“So you’re not going to be asking me to put a constructionhat on your shoulder anytime soon?” Ian asks after a sip of coffee, and I toss a sugar packet at him.

“I told you. It. Was. One. Time.”

He nods sarcastically, and when I turn to my formerly favorite brother, he shrugs. “Kind of hard to believe, that’s all.”

I let out a frustrated growl and comb my fingers through my hair, tugging slightly, earning a snicker from Ian. I aim a glare at him. “You were the one giving me shit about it the other day. How he’s so young. Now suddenly, you want me to jump him?”

“No. Not saying that. But if you’re thinking about it…seems like you don’t need much pushing.”

“No. Not happening, and you can shut your fucking mouth about it.”

“Touchy,” he murmurs like it’s all a big joke, but he relents and updates us on his daughter, Juniper, who has started dating someone. Ian has three kids with his ex-wife—Jasper, Jaybird, and Juniper—but there’re also a few stragglers he’s collected along the way too. They all work in his tattoo shop and are practically part of the family now. Exactly how Ian wants it.

I suspect the need to keep everyone together comes from our childhood and his divorce. How he couldn’t make our father or his wife stay, so he’ll do it now. A hero in his own right, in how fiercely he protects his family.

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