Page 48 of Just This Once

When I get Maddie, she’s a chatterbox, talking nonstop about Girl Scouts, her really hard math test, and this girl who is in her science class and after-school dance class. She apparently has Blair Waldorf vibes and is sometimes friends with Maddie and sometimes not. I tell Maddie to drop this girl like yesterday’s news. She tells me to stop sounding so old.

Next, I park in the high school lot, waiting as the soccer team guys all file out, Jake hanging back with some other player, talking really close together. Could be nothing. Or could be something, and I resolve myself to let him know at some point, I’ll be in his corner.

Back at home, I raid the cabinets while Maddie does her homework and Jake splits upstairs for a shower. I don’t consider myself much of a cook besides a few recipes my mother taught me, but seeing as Taryn doesn’t have any ingredients for homemade sauce or chicken parm, I find a couple of frozen pizzas, which I heat up like a pro. And after we’ve all eaten, Maddie and I settle in the living room to watch moreGossip Girlas Jake disappears to his room.

Taryn gave me no instructions about if or when they have a bedtime, and I don’t have a lot of experience taking care of kids, but much to my appreciation, Jake and Maddie pretty much take care of themselves. At nine, Maddie declares she’s going to go to bed, and I follow her upstairs, offering her a high five before knocking on Jake’s bedroom door.

I assume a lot of people dream about marriage and kids when they think what they want to be when they grow up. Like it’s a package deal. A rite of passage. But now that I’m thirty and no closer to marriage or children, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. Especially when I have my sights set on a woman, and I’m given the opportunity to hang out with her kids.

I don’t know where I fall on the responsible adult scale, butI suppose I’m doing okay in terms of my relationship with Jake and Maddie. We have fun, and Taryn trusts me with them. I would take care of them with everything I have, like I would take care of Taryn the same way.

They are my package deal.

Can’t have one without the other.

Which sounds pretty perfect to me.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jake asks when he opens his door to me, and I shrug, glancing behind me to make sure Maddie can’t hear.

“Your sister’s going to bed, and I just wanted to check in with you. I don’t know, uh, know what the procedure here is.”

He laughs. I like that he does so easily. He’s not jaded. “There is no procedure. I usually stay up later than I should, talking to friends and stuff.”

“You play video games at night?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes, we’re Snapping each other or whatever.”

I nod. “Yeah, well, I think at some point around, like, twenty-eight, your body starts to go, hey, whoa, you should go to bed now. I swear I used to be able to stay up until two in the morning all the time, and now, I’ll fall asleep in the middle of watching a game at nine. Pathetic.”

“Pathetic,” he echoes with a chuckle, and I slap my hand to his shoulder.

“All right. Well, I’ll be downstairs until your mom gets home.” When he nods, I try to slip in a little nuance. “But I also wanted to let you know if you ever need someone to talk to, about anything, whatever it is… I’m here, all right?”

He shifts his gaze around, and I remember high school. Being nervous and suspicious about everything and everyone. Even when I didn’t have much to be nervous or suspicious about.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Cool. Thanks.”

Then I head back downstairs and make myself at home on the couch until Taryn arrives home an hour later. Frankie greets her with enthusiastic kisses, and I would like to be able to do the same, but I’m sure she’d still fight me on it.

I inform her of the evening’s events as she hangs up her coat and purse. “Thank you so much. You were a massive help.”

“It’s not a big deal. They take care of themselves.”

She flips on the dining room light and pauses. “It’s so bright in here.”

“Oh yeah. I changed out your lightbulbs. They were all dim and shitty.”

She turns to me, stunned. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“It was nothing.”

She shakes her head at me, brows furrowed, her mouth open as if she wants to speak, but she doesn’t. Moments pass in silence, and I wonder if I maybe overstepped.

Then she’s really not going to like what else I have for her.

I follow her to the kitchen, where she washes a red apple before cutting it up into slices and placing them on a plate along with peanut butter and a few little pieces of cheese. It’s not a very good dinner for someone who worked over twelve hours, but I’ve got to pick my battles.

And I fear this might be a big one coming up.

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