Page 14 of Stand By Me

"That's fair," Clay agreed.Yeah, he'd definitely overcorrected. "I'll try to do better. But you have Troy now, and your friends, and I have a new job and new people there who will hopefully become friends as well." He paused. "I don't know. Maybe it's not a bad thing if we learn to text other people, too."

"Sure, okay." Jake pulled his knees up, and Clay sighed.

"Jake."

"No, no, I know, okay?" Jake said, avoiding his gaze. "You're right, and Troy is right, and it's… It's easier than it was even a few months ago, so we're making progress."

"But?"

"But we've already drifted apart! We see each other less, we talk less, now we even text less. What's next?"

Clay took a deep breath. He knew how overwhelmed and scared Jake could become when he started heading for the worst-case scenarios.

Usually, Clay could talk him down, but it was never easy.

None of it was.

"Next is trying to find the right balance," Clay finally said. "We see each other less and talk less because we don't live together anymore. That's a normal shift that happens in a situation like that. It's not because we suddenly care less but because we needed that space.Youneeded that space, too, remember?"

Jake's head shot up at that.

"Oh, so it's my fault now?"

Clay glanced at the coffee table with the reminders of their dinner and wondered when it all went wrong. He'd been hoping for a quiet and easy night, not… this.

"That's nobody's fault and you know it."

Jake sprung onto his feet and crossed the small space towards the window.

"Do I? Do I know it?" He turned to face Clay. "I've barely managed to get to a point where I feel like I have the right balance between everything—my job, and Troy, and you, and everyone else. I don't want things to change."

"And what about me?" Clay asked quietly, realizing in that moment that neither of them had taken that into account, not really.

And they should have.Heshould have.

Jake frowned. "What?"

"You have your balance—a partner, a job you love, new people in your life. And what about me? Don't I get to have balance, too?" Clay clasped his hands together hard enough to hurt, but the words were rushing out of him now. "I'm starting over, just like you have. You've managed to get there earlier, and I'm happy for you, but I want to move forward, too. I want a cool job, and a relationship, if I manage that, and more friends. I'm not deleting you out of my life simply because I'm searching for those other stuff, too."

"It feels like that, though," Jake told him quietly. "It feels like you're pushing me out."

Clay shook his head. "I'm not. But I also cannot stay in place I've been for longer than a decade untilyou'reready for me to move forward."

"It's no longer your job, after all, is it?"

And didn'tthathurt like a punch to the throat.

Clay stood up, ignoring Jake's widening eyes and his own instinct to make things better. He had enough for today.

He needed to get out of here.

"Clay, wait—"

"No," he cut Jake off. "You know what, no. I'm not going to. And since, as you pointed out, it's not my job anymore, I don't have to."

He headed for the door, ignoring Jake's protests, only to see Troy there when he opened it.

"Sorry, I wasn't sure if you'd still be here by now—" Troy started, and then paused, glancing between him and something behind his shoulder. Probably Jake.

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