Page 54 of Stand By Me

"No, you can't."

That made him blink. "Huh?"

"You're right." She reached out to put a hand on top of his. "You can't keep making sacrifices for your brother."

He inhaled sharply. "That's—"

"You need to listen to me," she cut him off. "You don't owe him your life. You don't owe anyone your life. I'm sorry I've put you in a position—"

"No! Stop that. You didn't put me anywhere."

"You took on too much too early—"

"Mom," he interrupted again. "Everything I did was my choice, okay? Let it go." He didn't want to get into it with her,ever, so he decided to redirect with a distraction. "Besides, we're all adults now, I'm back stateside,andI'm dating a cute guy. Everything's good."

He offered her a smile that made her roll her eyes, but she still patted his hand.

"Mario has to be over the moon." Her smile grew bigger. "That boy could never take his eyes off of you."

"Wait, what?" Clay frowned. "When?"

She gave him a look clearly stating she thought he was clueless.

"Please. Don't tell me you were the one person who didn't notice Mario had had the biggest crush on you ever since he was a kid."

Clay stared at her, trying to make sense of what she was telling him as he recalled his memories of Mario from back then. He remembered him always being around, but that was because Ben and Mario were inseparable. And sure, Clay caught Mario watching him more than once, but that could've been—

Well. Apparently not.

"Oh."

"'Oh', he says." His mom snorted. "You're hopeless."

He shrugged, sheepish. "I've been told."

Mario had been harboring a crush on him all those years ago.

Clay would need some time to get used to the idea, but it wasn't like he hated it or anything. It was just… unexpected. Clay had been a mess back then, between school, and work, and trying to help out with Ben's care. He hadn't been any type of a catch, even—or especially—for a teenager.

"So, be careful, okay?" his mom went on. "It's not only about Ben, but Mario as well."

"I don't want to hurt anyone, Mom." Clay leaned harder against the table. "I simply want to—"live my life. Be happy. Stop worrying about everyone else first.

All of the above, if he was lucky.

And maybe something translated onto his face, because she slumped in her seat and hung her head for a second.

"I did it again, didn't I?" she said when she met his gaze again. "Here I am, telling you not to put Ben, or anyone, really, ahead of you and to start living for yourself, and then I turn around and tell you to do the opposite. I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"It's not fine." She slid her hand over his and held on. "I want you to be happy. And if you think you can be happy with Mario, I'm glad for the two of you."

He turned his palm around and caught her hand in his. "Thanks, Mom."

They sat there in silence for a minute, and Clay looked out towards the window again, wondering what was happening back at Mario's.

Various what-ifs flew through his head, one more depressing than the other. Before tonight, he'd figured that Ben and Mario would get through this fairly unscathed, but now…

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